Alternative Practices to Accompany Traditional Therapyby Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LPWhen we think of therapy for our mental health, many imagine the classic picture: sitting across from a therapist in a quiet office, reflecting on experiences, thoughts, and feelings. While this approach can be incredibly effective, we sometimes overlook the mind-body connection—the idea that our mental state impacts our physical health, and vice versa. Bessel van der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score highlights how trauma can remain “stuck” in the body, showing up as tension, pain, or chronic stress responses. For therapy to be fully effective, alternative practices may sometimes be necessary to accompany traditional approaches. These practices focus on restoring balance between the body and mind, helping clients feel more grounded, safe, and whole. Somatic PracticesSomatic practices focus on how trauma and stress are stored in the body. Muscle tension, tightness, and “holding patterns” often reflect the nervous system’s survival responses (fight, flight, or freeze). By noticing and releasing these physical patterns through movement, touch, or breathwork, the nervous system receives a signal that it is safe to relax. Examples include: Somatic ExperiencingSomatic Experiencing involves gradual awareness of bodily sensations gently discharging trauma-related tension and reducing hyperarousal, allowing emotions to be processed safely. Sensorimotor PsychotherapySensorimotor Therapy combines body awareness with talk therapy to process trauma on both physical and emotional levels. Releasing tension improves focus, emotional regulation, and reduces intrusive thoughts. Breathwork and Mindful MovementBreathwork and mindful movement regulate the nervous system, decrease anxiety, and foster emotional release and grounding. Yoga and Stretch-Based TherapiesYoga and other mindful movement practices help people reconnect with their bodies. Stretching, holding postures, and coordinated breathing encourage the release of muscle tension, signaling the nervous system that it is safe to downshift from stress or hypervigilance. Mental Health Benefits of Yoga and Stretch-Based Therapies include lowered anxiety, improved mood, and strengthened emotional regulation. Trauma survivors gain a sense of safety and comfort in their bodies, supporting processing of difficult emotions in therapy. Other stretch-based therapies, like Pilates or tai chi, similarly support body awareness, nervous system regulation, and emotional grounding. AcupunctureAcupuncture uses thin needles at specific points to release physical tension and regulate the nervous system. Mental Health Benefits of Acupuncture include reducing stress, anxiety, and symptoms of depression by calming hyperarousal and supporting emotional balance. By addressing both body and nervous system, acupuncture can improve focus, emotional clarity, and receptivity to therapy. Massage and BodyworkMassage therapy and other hands-on bodywork (like myofascial release or craniosacral therapy) help release tension held in muscles and fascia. Mental Health Beneifts of Massage and Bodywork include activating the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing anxiety and hypervigilance. Clients often report feeling grounded, emotionally lighter, and more able to engage in therapy without being overwhelmed. Creative Arts TherapiesArt, music, dance, or movement therapy provide nonverbal ways to express emotions, process experiences, and reconnect with the self. Mental Health Benefits of Creative Arts Therapies include supporting emotional expression and release, reducing internalized stress, and providing a safe outlet for feelings that may be difficult to articulate. Nutrition, Diet, and Herbal MedicineThe gut-brain connection plays a crucial role in mental health, with about 90% of serotonin—an important mood-regulating neurotransmitter—produced in the digestive system. Diet, probiotics, and certain herbs can influence both physical and mental well-being. Balanced nutrition and gut-supportive practices have mental health benefits, including improved mood stability, reduced anxiety, and increased emotional regulation. Herbal supplements like chamomile, ashwagandha, or adaptogens may help reduce stress and promote calm, complementing therapy and body-based practices. These alternative practices—somatic work, yoga, acupuncture, massage, creative arts, and nutrition-based approaches—are not replacements for therapy, but they can strengthen it. By helping the body release tension, downshift the nervous system, and regulate stress responses, they may create space for deeper emotional processing. This mind-body integration supports emotional regulation, reduces anxiety, and enhances the effectiveness of traditional therapy, offering a more holistic path to mental wellness. *Please note that not every alternative practice works for everyone in the same way. Consider consulting with your therapist and/or physician before engaging in a new physical practice. And always work with a professional who is licensed or certified in that specific alternative practice. About the AuthorTalia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP, is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. Talia specializes in working with clients who have experienced complex trauma, often stemming from childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, emotional neglect, and toxic relationships. While she integrates psychodynamic and cognitive-behavioral approaches with her clients, she also explores with clients adjunctive therapies and practices that may positively impact their healing and growth. She believes in meeting the client where they are and creating an individualized plan together that will best support them in meeting their goals. Interested in learning more about Talia? Check out her bio on our website here.
Interested in scheduling an appointment? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here. What are Vocational Rehabilitation Services?by Marisa Higgins, MSEd, CRC, NCC, MHC-LPSome of the most important choices we make have to do with work, from when we are asked as a child what we want to be when we grow up, to deciding what to do after high school, to getting our first part-time job, and eventually deciding to pursue a career (or two). These are decisions that will frequently come up in all life phases, and making the “right” choice may leave us feeling overwhelmed, scared, even paralyzed to move forward. But these common problems do not have to lead to a perfect solution, and this is why people get stuck in taking that next step. People want a job that they are “passionate” about or “love” what they do – truth is, there is more to working in a job than that. We have to think about our circumstances at the time and what needs to be made priorities to improve our situations. And, we may also discover what kinds of work is going to give us satisfaction (hint: we don’t always get paid for it, but I’ll come back to that later). Should I Get A Job Or Should I Have A Career?: Short Term Vs Long Term GoalsThe answer is yes and yes. Now more than ever, more focus is being placed on career exploration in school, starting in the elementary grades. Students invite a family member to their class to speak about their job, career and college events expose students to life after high school. The conversation should start with teachers and guidance counselors, but also at home. Students may take a quiz that asks a lot about what they like and don’t like to do. The results show them potential job matches. But it’s not always as easy as saying, “I want to do [insert any career] one day.”. Short-term job goals are very different from long-term ones. More emphasis needs to be placed on that. The reality is we don’t springboard from deciding on a job to getting the much-desired, well-paid role we may covet. Goals are made up of steps to take, and as each step is completed, the closer one gets to obtaining that goal. Why Knowing The Job Market Is ImportantYou are probably aware that the current job landscape is rapidly changing: AI and E-commerce is a part of every sector and they are eliminating entry-level jobs in tech, retail, healthcare and even transportation. We are seeing this have a negative impact on high school and college students trying to find that first job. And it is affecting college or vocational training graduates obtaining that entry-level role that will launch their careers. This is even more difficult for individuals with disabilities. Dissolving roles that involve specific tasks to complete and combining them with other tasks may leave workers with disabilities at a disadvantage. Additionally, as technology continues to change and move quicker, a more rapid work pace will be expected of human workers to keep up. This also impacts many different types of workers – How will they learn their job properly? Where is the time to let them develop their skills efficiently? Who can they turn to for help? Vocational Rehabilitation: More Than Just Career CounselingVocational Rehabilitation has been a valuable, necessary, and at times underutilized specialty that can help workers of all kinds find and keep employment that will bring them satisfaction and purpose. Vocational rehabilitation counselors often wear many hats and those not familiar with the field may mistake them for social workers or case managers. While those hats may be part of our collection, we also wear the following: mental health counseling, career exploration and post-secondary education counseling, job coaching, disability rights and workplace accommodations expertise, and what I like to call Compass Cheerleader! Not many know it, but Rehabilitation Counselors are all around you: working for state and federal agencies; in schools, colleges, and vocational training programs; in non-profit community orgs, insurance companies, law firms, hospitals, and in private practice. We work with everyone: individuals with varying disabilities, people who have acquired injuries, students with neurodivergence, those who have trouble keeping a job or with significant employment gaps, youth and adults who have justice-involved histories, as well as employers and community leaders. We provide counseling, education, mentorship, and advocacy for our populations, and consider all facets of a person’s story, including perhaps why a particular job or career may not be a good fit for someone. Talking about working at a job is not enough – we need to identify our skills and abilities, and get to know ourselves – our strengths, our limitations, not only related to working but in our everyday lives - these affect where, when, why, and how we work. Everyone may benefit from assessment tools specific to identifying work skills, but also interests, personality, and what drives us the most to get things done. Job satisfaction does not always lie just in a person’s love or passion for something. Successful outcomes derive from having the skills, motivation, and engagement to discover the best kind of work for us. Goals Are Not Straight Lines, But Curvy Detours My vocational journey has not been a linear one. It began with wanting to be a nurse, until I found out you have to work with deceased animals to gain necessary skills in classes. Then I was sure I wanted to be a teacher, so I could be like the teachers in high school who had positive impacts on me. My second-guessing began in practicum when I found myself checking the clock every five minutes when I should have been present with my group of students. I knew for sure teaching was not my path when I finally got in a classroom and had to write engaging lesson plans and apply them effectively while also trying to keep my students’ attention and behavior in control. This was junior year of college – what was I going to do? It was too late to change my major, but I knew this one was wrong for me. I knew I still wanted to help people and always liked to know why people ticked the way they do. After working for a few years and considering my options, I returned to college to major in psychology. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my degree, but instinctually knew this was the right path. Earning my Bachelor’s degree led me to work opportunities in educational development, college settings, and community agencies, to finally discovering vocational rehabilitation. It fulfilled the helping aspect I wanted in my work, gave me the privilege to counsel and support individuals with an array of experiences, and helped me find answers to questions I’d been grappling with for so long:
I continue to figure it out with my clients, providing a safe space to guide them on their vocational journey. They are asking the same questions. I share with them that it may not always be easy, but it is always worth it. You Don't Have To Get Paid To Do Your Best WorkDon’t get me wrong: my goal as a vocational rehabilitation counselor is for my clients to find competitive, integrated employment. This means they are receiving a fair wage, options for benefits, and working alongside others with similar skills and experience. But as I expand my scope of practice to fulfill requirements for New York State mental health counseling licensure, I see how it is all connected: Work gives us meaning, a purpose, it creates community, it becomes part of our identity. I mentioned this earlier: Work does not have to be limited to making an income – it can incorporate our hidden talents, developing tangible goals for ourselves, reaching out to others for help or collaboration, creating something or building up an idea out of love or recognizing a problem that needs to be solved. While we all strive to be independent and self-sufficient (a very important factor of paid work), we may find job satisfaction in its setting, our coworkers, its incentives, or something that sounds as simple (but life-saving to some) as having a routine and a schedule. I believe everyone has the right to have the opportunity to find a job they like or a career they want. I also believe that finding work in other parts of our lives provides us with the ability to be our best selves. Someone I know lives by this 3-pronged mantra: Work at a job you like, so it can provide the means to do what you want to do, so you can enjoy your life to the fullest. Whether it be a job to launch you to the next level in your path, that “dream” position where you feel you have finally made it, or shifts to pay the bills but gives you time to be with what gives you the most joy, vocational rehabilitation may help you. About the AuthorMarisa Higgins, MSEd, CRC, NCC, MHC-LP is a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor and clinician working towards her mental health counseling licensure at Healing & Growth Counseling. She has worked as a vocational evaluator, job coach, and in academic advising. Marisa believes that mental health and meaningful work go hand in hand, and is devoted to helping her clients realize their vocational potential. Marisa understands that life doesn’t always go according to plan, and she strives to meet her clients where they are—offering guidance and encouragement through whatever challenges arise. Marisa has worked with people of all ages to help them clarify their personal, educational, and professional journeys. As someone who returned to school while balancing work and motherhood, she knows what it means to juggle life and all its challenges, and is committed to walking alongside her clients, step by step. Want to learn more about Marisa and the services she provides? Check out Marisa's bio here. Want to learn more about Vocational and Career Counseling? Check out the Career service page here. Interested in scheduling an appointment? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
Understanding, Supporting & Empowering People with ADHDby Fallon Panetta, MS, MHC InternEach October, ADHD Awareness Month highlights the importance of education, early identification, and support for individuals with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). It is estimated that ADHD affects approximately 9.8% of U.S. children and 4.4% of adults, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). At Healing & Growth Counseling, we believe awareness goes beyond sharing information—it’s about building understanding, reducing stigma, and providing effective, evidence-based care that fosters long-term growth and well-being. What is ADHD?ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that impacts attention, impulse control, and activity regulation. It involves differences in how the brain manages executive functions—skills that include planning, organizing, prioritizing, and sustaining effort. These brain-based differences can affect performance in academic, professional, and social environments. While ADHD is often associated with distractibility or hyperactivity, the condition is more complex. Individuals with ADHD may experience challenges managing time, following multi-step directions, or maintaining consistent focus, particularly during tasks that require sustained mental effort. Despite these challenges, individuals with ADHD often demonstrate creativity, problem-solving skills, and persistence when properly supported. What are the Symptoms of ADHD?ADHD symptoms can vary widely depending on the person, age, and environment. Common symptoms include: ● Difficulty sustaining attention or completing tasks ● Forgetfulness and frequent loss of items ● Challenges organizing time and materials ● Restlessness or difficulty remaining seated ● Impulsive behaviors such as interrupting or acting quickly without considering consequences ● Difficulty regulating frustration or emotions ● Challenges maintaining focus during non-preferred activities Some individuals experience internal symptoms such as racing thoughts or mental overactivity, which can lead to emotional fatigue. Recognizing that ADHD affects both attention and self-regulation helps guide more effective intervention. When ADHD is untreated, individuals may experience chronic stress, lower academic or occupational performance, and increased risk for anxiety or depression. However, with evidence-based treatment and consistent support, most individuals can develop effective strategies to manage symptoms and thrive personally and professionally. What are the three types of ADHD?The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR) outlines three primary presentations of ADHD: Inattentive TypeA person with this type of ADHD often experiences difficulty sustaining focus, organizing tasks, or following detailed instructions. Hyperactive-Impulsive TypeA person with this type of ADHD may have high energy levels, talk frequently, or act quickly without pausing to think. Combined TypeThis type of ADHD includes characteristics of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive presentations. No two individuals with ADHD are the same. Symptoms and functional impact can vary depending on age, setting, stress, and environmental demands. For instance, a student might struggle with attention in class but excel in hands-on or creative tasks. ADHD symptoms typically begin in childhood, but many individuals are not diagnosed until adulthood. This delay can occur when symptoms are subtle, well-compensated for, or misattributed to other factors such as anxiety, learning differences, or environmental stressors. Increased self-awareness and growing societal understanding have led to more adults recognizing ADHD traits in themselves and seeking assessment. Can ADHD Develop Later in Life?ADHD is a lifelong condition that begins in childhood, even if it is not diagnosed until later. Adults who were not identified early may start to notice difficulties when life responsibilities increase—such as managing work tasks, college coursework, or parenting demands. Research shows that ADHD symptoms can persist across the lifespan, though they may present differently as individuals mature. For example, hyperactivity in children may appear as inner restlessness or difficulty relaxing in adults. Many adults who receive a diagnosis later in life describe it as clarifying—providing a framework to understand longstanding experiences with attention, organization, and self-regulation. This understanding often opens the door to effective treatment and self-compassion. Even if not diagnosed until adulthood, therapy and treatment can be effective and life-changing. What does ADHD Therapy Look Like?There is no single “cure” for ADHD, but treatment is highly effective when tailored to the individual. Therapy is a central component of a multimodal treatment approach, which may also include behavioral interventions, academic or workplace accommodations, and in some cases, medication prescribed by a medical provider. At Healing & Growth Counseling, therapy for ADHD is personalized to address each client’s specific goals and challenges. Common approaches include: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for ADHDCBT helps clients identify and modify thought patterns that contribute to procrastination, perfectionism, or frustration. It also builds problem-solving skills and adaptive coping strategies. Mindfulness-Based Strategies for ADHDMindfulness practices improve attention control, reduce impulsivity, and help individuals regulate emotional responses. Executive Function Coaching for ADHDPractical strategies are introduced to enhance organization, time management, and planning—such as using visual reminders, structured routines, and task breakdown methods. Parent and Family Counseling for ADHDFor children and adolescents, therapy often involves parents or caregivers to reinforce consistent routines, communication skills, and positive reinforcement systems at home. Therapy provides a supportive environment where clients can better understand their brain’s unique functioning, recognize personal strengths, and build confidence in their ability to manage daily responsibilities. How can I support a Loved One with ADHD?Supporting someone with ADHD involves patience, structure, and clear communication. Establishing predictable routines and breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps can reduce overwhelm. Visual tools—such as planners, timers, or checklists—are especially useful for enhancing focus and organization. Encouraging open communication is key. Ask what types of reminders or supports are most helpful, and provide feedback in a calm and collaborative way. Emphasize strengths and progress rather than focusing solely on areas of difficulty. Positive reinforcement helps increase confidence and motivation. It’s equally important to maintain flexibility—what works one day may not always work the next. Consistent encouragement, balanced expectations, and understanding that ADHD is a difference in neurodevelopment, not a lack of effort, all promote long-term success. How Healing & Growth Counseling Can HelpAt Healing & Growth Counseling, we understand that ADHD influences many aspects of daily life—from focus and organization to relationships and self-esteem. Our therapists provide individualized care rooted in current research and best practices. We work collaboratively with clients and families to identify strengths, set achievable goals, and build strategies that lead to meaningful progress. Whether you’re navigating ADHD as a parent seeking support for your child, a college student learning time management skills, or an adult balancing work and family demands, therapy can help you better understand your challenges and use your strengths to overcome them. ADHD Awareness Month serves as an important reminder that education and early intervention matter. By increasing understanding and access to care, we can help individuals with ADHD lead fulfilling, productive, and balanced lives. About the AuthorFallon Panetta, MS, MHC Intern, is a full-time school counselor with 19 years of experience supporting children with ADHD and other social-emotional needs. She helps students strengthen focus, organization, and emotional regulation through strategies like mindfulness, movement breaks, visual schedules, and positive self-talk. Fallon enjoys teaching students how to pause before reacting, set small goals, and recognize their strengths. She is currently pursuing her advanced certificate in mental health counseling to continue helping children, teens, and families thrive both in and out of the classroom. Interested in learning more about Fallon and her work? Read her bio here. Interested in reading more about ADHD and neurodivergence? Check out our Neurodivergence service page here. Interested in scheduling an appointment with one of our clinicians? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
What is Complex Trauma and C-PTSD?by Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LPComplex Trauma, sometimes called Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), develops from repeated or prolonged exposure to traumatic experiences, often beginning in childhood. Contrarily to PTSD, which is typically linked to a single traumatic event, Complex Trauma is usually the result of ongoing trauma such as abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or growing up in an unstable or unsafe environment. Over time, this repeated exposure can deeply affect a person’s sense of self, relationships, and ability to feel safe in the world. People with C-PTSD may struggle with emotional regulation, self-esteem, trust, and may experience intense feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness. The interesting thing about C-PTSD is that it is not actually recognized in the DSM-5 (the manual most clinicians use in the U.S. to diagnose individuals). However, it has been recognized by the World Health Organization since 2018 in the ICD-11 (the international classification of diseases). What are the signs and symptoms of C-PTSD?The following list describes some of the signs and symptoms of C-PTSD. You may notice that some of the symptoms overlap with other medical and mental health conditions. Trauma and Memory
Emotional and Cognitive
Interpersonal
Physical
Behavioral
Hyperarousal
These patterns don’t just shape emotions—they ripple into the body, relationships, and daily life. Many people with Complex Trauma continue to navigate the world in survival mode, long after the original trauma has ended. Since C-PTSD affects multiple areas of functioning—emotional regulation, cognition, relationships, and behavior—people often experience symptoms that overlap with other mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety disorders, ADHD-like symptoms, dissociation, substance use, and/or eating disorders. They may not meet the full criteria for these individual diagnoses but still exhibit aspects of them as a direct result of trauma. In the U.S., clinicians may note co-occurring diagnoses because C-PTSD itself is not officially recognized in the DSM-5. Recognizing these overlapping patterns helps capture the full impact of trauma and guide effective treatment. For example, an individual with Complex Trauma might experience OCD-like symptoms such as intrusive thoughts or rumination, ADHD-like symptoms like distractibility, difficulty focusing, or impulsivity, eating-related issues such as emotional eating, and mood or anxiety symptoms including persistent worry, panic, low mood, or irritability. In some cases, these experiences may not meet the full criteria for separate diagnoses, reflecting trauma-related patterns rather than distinct disorders. In other cases, an individual may meet the full criteria for one or more co-occurring conditions, meaning that the trauma has contributed to clinically significant impairments that warrant a formal diagnosis and targeted treatment. What are the most common co-occurring disorders with C-PTSD?Mood DisordersDepression and persistent low mood are very common, as trauma erodes self-worth and hope. Emotional ups and downs may resemble bipolar traits, though often tied more to trauma reactivity than a mood disorder itself. Anxiety and OCDChronic worry, panic attacks, or obsessive thinking can grow out of trauma. Some survivors develop compulsive behaviors (like checking or rituals) as attempts to create a sense of safety or control. ADHD-Like SymptomsTrauma can affect attention, memory, and impulse control, leading to distractibility or difficulties with focus that may look like ADHD. Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs)Hair pulling, skin picking, or nail biting may develop as tension-release or self-soothing strategies. Dissociative SymptomsMany people with C-PTSD experience spacing out, feeling detached from their body, or memory gaps. In severe cases, this can overlap with dissociative disorders. Substance Use DisordersAlcohol or drugs may be used to numb pain, reduce hyperarousal, or escape intrusive memories Eating DisordersRestrictive eating, bingeing, or purging can emerge from shame, trauma-related body image issues, or attempts to regain a sense of control over the body. Moving Forward: Healing from Complex TraumaHealing from Complex Trauma is possible, though it often takes time and support. Effective treatment usually involves a combination of approaches that address emotional regulation, trauma processing, and rebuilding trust and safety: Therapy for C-PTSDTreatment for Complex Trauma often involves a combination of approaches. Behavioral therapies focus on managing symptoms, building coping skills, and regulating emotions. Insight-oriented or psychodynamic therapies explore childhood experiences, relational patterns, and the underlying causes of trauma. Body-based therapies help process trauma stored in physical sensations, while psychoeducation provides understanding of how trauma affects the mind and body. Medication for C-PTSDMay be used to manage symptoms such as depression, anxiety, or sleep difficulties, under the guidance of a psychiatrist. Support Groups for C-PTSDPeer support can reduce isolation and provide validation for experiences. You can search for local C-PTSD If you or someone you know is living with trauma, reaching out to a licensed mental health professional can be an important first step toward recovery and regaining a sense of safety and self. What are some resources to help with C-PTSD?Books that Address C-PTSD
Organizations & Websites Focused on C-PTSD
About the AuthorTalia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP, is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling, providing in-person counseling services in Massapequa Park. Working with clients with complex trauma is a specialty focus area in her practice. Her understanding of the complexities that occur for people who have struggled with complex trauma histories helps her to provide individualized treatment to those that she works with. She takes the opportunity to link clients with resources, such as those listed above, to help support the work being done in therapy. Interested in learning more about Talia? See her Bio Page here.
Interested in scheduling an appointment with Talia? Complete our Contact Form here. When the Next Feels Empty: Coping with Your Children Leaving Homeby Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACSThe process of becoming a mother and parent involves many identity shifts. Time that was once spent enjoying hobbies and spending time with friends may shift to spending time with family and caring for children. Over the years as young children grow, the role of parents and mothers may shift slightly, from changing diapers to driving kids to soccer practice to making sure they finished their homework, however a lot of time is still spent in the role of parent. Then, one day, as the children are old enough to establish further independence, they choose to go away to college or to enter the workforce. They may choose to move into an apartment, college dorm, or house. This can feel like an abrupt change, going from having your child home with you to having them live somewhere else. An experience known as empty nest syndrome can leave parents, especially mothers, struggling with difficult emotions and thoughts. In this article we will explore some of the signs, symptoms, and ways to help you through this period. Is it normal to have an emotional response to my children leaving home?The quick answer to this question is: Yes! It is normal to have many different emotions when a child leaves home, whether for college, work, or independence. This process triggers a major shift in a family's dynamics. Feelings may include: guilt, loneliness, grief, anxiety, worry, confusion, and more. Let's explore some of the common feelings shared by mothers here: Empty Nester GuiltAs your child moves forward into new chapters of life, they may share with you the ups, the downs, and the challenges that they experience. You may find yourself feeling guilty for not being there with them to overcome the challenges. You may review your parenting methods over the years with a magnifying glass, overanalyzing and criticizing decisions that you made along the way, leading to feelings of regret and guilt. Empty Nester LonelinessThe more people that you have living in your home, the less likely you are to have time to yourself in your home. Life with children living at home provides many distractions and often keeps you busy. When a child leaves home, this may leave you without distraction and without constant socialization. This could leave you feeling lonely. Even the absence of hearing their music playing from their bedroom, or the TV on in the den, can feel empty. Empty Nester GriefWhen one has children, part of their identity becomes that of a parent. This part of their identity grows and develops as their children age. When a child leaves home, there may be a feeling of loss of this part of you, which can lead to feelings of grief. Empty Nester Anxiety & WorryWhen children leave home, you may find yourself often worrying about them. You may not know as often where they are or what they are doing as you did when they were at home. Brief worry thoughts may come to mind, and this could also worsen and overtake your thoughts throughout the day. Empty Nester ConfusionIn once again thinking of your identity, the change in your role of parent may have you feeling lost or empty. Because the parent part of one's identity often takes up a lot of space in life, it may take some time to reconnect with parts of yourself that had been on the back-burner for many years. Why am I struggling so much with my children leaving home?Though all parents can experience difficult feelings related to the empty nest transition, women tend to feel the impact of this more deeply. Several things may contribute to this: Cultural and Societal RolesSociety continues to place a lot of emphasis on the identity of mother when it comes to women. Though shifts in this have been seen in recent years, mothers continue to bear the greatest expectation of being the primary caretakers of children. Time spent as caregiverEspecially for those who stay-at-home or work part-time while having children living at home, a large percentage of hours are spent in the role of mother. Driving children to activities, planning meals, assisting with homework, providing emotional support, and assisting with activities of daily living lead to a feeling of loss or emptiness when that is no longer needed to that same extent. Hormonal changesFor many women, around the time when empty nesting occurs, hormonal changes of perimenopause or menopause are also occurring. Going through these hormonal changes can trigger mood fluctuation and emotional reactions, which can further exacerbate symptoms of empty nesting. Should I be concerned about my mental health?The signs and symptoms listed in this article are normal for those going through the empty nesting process. It is ok to feel sad or off-balance for a little while. It is good to be aware of your emotions and feelings, and to notice whether they are intensifying or if you are starting to feel some relief. If symptoms continue to intensify, it could lead to more serious mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. If you start to notice that your symptoms start to really interfere with your daily life it is important to seek professional support. Here are some signs and symptoms that may be cause for concern of a more serious mental health issue:
How do I move forward in this?Know that everyone's process of healing and growing through the empty nesting process looks different. Here I will share some ideas that may be helpful to your process: Give yourself permission to feelAllow yourself to feel. By trying to ignore and avoid feelings they will only build up inside, which could have other negative effects on your mind and body. Here are some ideas that can help you to create some space for your feelings:
Reconnect with your identityConsider activities and hobbies that you enjoyed prior to having children. Were there passions that you put on hold due to your role as a mother? Are there things that you had wanted to learn or try but couldn't because of your life being so busy? Now is the time to reconnect with past hobbies and also explore new ones! Practice reframing your thoughtsIt is easy to fall into the negative view that your role as a mother is over once your children leave home. Quite the contrary, actually. Your role as a mother is evolving, shifting into something new. It is likely that your children will continue to reach out to you in different ways as they grow. By reframing thoughts of your role as mother ending to that it is evolving, that may help you to increase hope. Focus on strengthening other relationshipsWith the additional time that you have as your children leave home, consider spending more time in relationships that may have been neglected in the past. Connect with your partner, reconnect with friends, and consider making new connections. Connections can also be made related to hobbies that you enjoy, which helps you to continue exploring your identity as it changes. Consider counseling or support groupsSpeaking with a therapist can help you to identify and process difficult and painful feelings that may arise as you are going through the empty nesting transition. You can work with a therapist to identify and work towards goals that help you develop and embrace your changing identity. Support groups can also be beneficial, as they allow you to meet with other women who are experiencing similar struggles and feelings. A support group would allow you to receive support from several people at once, and hear ideas of things that have been helpful to others going through the process. Remember, empty nest syndrome and struggles are normal and commonly experienced among mothers. You don't have to feel alone in what you are experiencing. About the AuthorCindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. Cindy has worked with many women who have gone through the process of empty nesting, and recognizes is as a common cause for difficult emotions and struggles. Cindy hopes that mothers can allow themselves to see this as a valid reason to seek support, whether amongst friends, in a formal support group, or by connecting with a professional therapist. Interested in therapy services focused on coping with the empty nesting process? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out or Contact Form here. Interested in further support through the empty nesting process with our Empty Nester Support Group for Women? Check out the group page here and fill out our Group Interest Form here.
Effective Communication: Choose your Priorityby Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACSHave you ever been in conversation and been unsure of what to say next? Felt that the conversation flowed well, but you didn't feel that it had the outcome that you had hoped or planned for? I have worked with many clients who have answered "YES!" to one or both of these questions! Clients may still struggle in conversations even after they have learned many healthy communication skills, such as non-verbal skills, "I" statements, and feelings statements. In working with these individuals, it became apparent that the common concern was not having a clear priority in the conversation. Conversations can become muddled and lack direction if one is not mindful of their priority in having it. Let's explore three possible priorities that conversations can serve: Getting What I WantA common focus of conversations is to ask someone for something, or to respond to someone's request of us. Consider some of the following examples:
Building the RelationshipRelationships are important for our mental health. Humans are wired to be interactive and engaged with others. We see positive spikes in neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin (happy chemicals!) when we are connecting with others, promoting positive and enjoyable feelings. For these reasons, our purpose in conversing with others can also be with the priority of building and maintaining our relationship with them. Here are some examples in which this might be the priority:
Building my Self EsteemSometimes, putting our self-esteem comes first. Having a voice and exercising that voice can be an important part of building a healthy self-esteem. Here are some examples in which this may be the priority:
Putting it Together: Choose 1!Now that you are aware of the three main focus areas of conversations, here comes the challenge. Before going into conversations, make a decision: which focus is the priority? This will help you to focus on what is most important as you start the conversation. Along the way, should you start to feel lost or like the conversation is not going as planned, you can reconnect with your priority to help assist in deciding which communication skills to use next. Let's go through a couple of examples to see this skill in action: Example 1: ClaudiaClaudia is a married mother of two who was invited by her mother to a BBQ at her mother's house this weekend. Claudia had already purchased tickets to a concert on the same day with her family at the local performing arts center, which her children are especially excited about. Before calling her mother back, she considers the priority of her conversation:
Example 2: JakeJake is an employee at a new up-and-coming company. He is excited to be on the forefront of this new company, which only has a few employees currently. Jake is trying to plan a vacation with his partner in a few weeks, and is planning to approach his boss to request the time off. In considering his priority in this conversation:
What about Digital Communication?Nowadays, a LOT of communication happens digitally, such as by email, text message, or via social media. Can these skills also be used in these situations? Of course! As you start your text/email/post, consider your priority. This may impact your wording, use of bold/capital letters/italics, and even your use of emojis or GIFs! Who is your communication directed to? What is your priority? Once you are finished drafting the message, read it back to yourself. If you were in the reader's shoes, would you have the same feeling/thought that you were trying to communicate? One of the benefits of electronic communication is that you have the opportunity to pause and think about, as well as re-read, your message before sending. This allows additional assistance with using these skills and increased time to pause and consider how you want to communicate between messages. One challenge of electronic communication is that the person reading it is not able to hear your volume or tone, or see your body language and facial expressions, which could lead to understanding your message differently than you intended it. As you re-read the message before sending, consider different ways that it could be interpreted, and if you fear it could be mis-read, consider having the conversation verbally instead. About the AuthorCindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. Her extensive experience in both agency work and private practice has led to her noticing trends in concerns that clients bring in to their therapy sessions, including this blog topic about priorities in conversations. She hopes that this blog post can help readers learn an access this knowledge to better help them engage in effective and enjoyable conversations with others. Interested in learning more about Cindy? Check out her Bio page on our website here. Struggling with communication in relationships? Check out our Couple Counseling service page here. Interested in scheduling an initial appointment to work towards your goals? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
Men's Mental Health: Why it Matters and How Therapy Can Helpby Candyce Young, MSEd, MHC-LPMental health issues affect everyone—regardless of gender—but men often face unique challenges in how they experience, express, and respond to emotional pain. For generations, men have been taught that they have to be strong, silent, and show no emotion. “Man up!,” “Don’t cry!,” and “Handle it yourself!” are messages many men hear from a young age. While these cultural norms may seem harmless from the outside, they often encourage men to suppress or bottle up their emotions, avoid vulnerability, and silently endure psychological distress. Many wonder if there is a harmful effect? Yes, millions of men are struggling with their mental health in silence. This can lead to depression, anxiety, physical health concerns, and feeling alone in all of it. The impact of following these cultural norms can have devastating impacts on a man's life at home, work, and beyond. Men’s mental health matters, and therapy can play a critical role in healing, growth, and long-term well-being. According to global health statistics & the National Institute of Health or (NIH): -Six million men are affected by depression in the United States -Men are less likely to seek help for depression, anxiety, or trauma. -Suicide rates are significantly higher among men than women in most countries. -Men are more likely to use substances like alcohol or drugs as coping mechanisms. -Many men struggle with expressing vulnerability due to societal pressure. Systems in men can also be seen by masking/bottling up emotions where anger, withdrawal, or overworking—leads to burnout, broken relationships, and mental health crises. Men Struggle with Asking for HelpWhy don't men reach out for help if they need it? There are several barriers that stop men from accessing mental health support: StigmaSeeking therapy is often misinterpreted as a sign of weakness or failure. Based on old-fashioned, outdated cultural norms, they worry that they will be perceived as weak by family, friends, and others. Cultural ExpectationsTraditional gender roles promote emotional restraint and self-reliance. In social history, it has been believed that men are supposed to be "the rock" and be able to take care of themselves and others. They are not supposed to cry or express sadness. Fear of VulnerabilityMany men are uncomfortable opening up about personal struggles. This can also be related to the fear of being seen as "weak". Lack of AwarenessMen may not recognize emotional symptoms or understand that therapy could help. They are often quicker to assume that physical symptoms are due to medical issues rather than triggered by emotional concerns. The good news? These barriers can be overcome—starting with open conversations and accessible mental health care. How Therapy Can Help MenTherapy isn’t just for “when things get bad.” It’s a proactive tool for improving emotional well-being, strengthening relationships, and gaining clarity about life’s challenges. Here's how therapy specifically supports men’s mental health: 1. Understanding EmotionsTherapy helps men identify and understand emotions like anger, sadness, and anxiety—without shame. This emotional literacy leads to healthier coping strategies. 2. Developing Healthy Coping MechanismsRather than bottling up stress or turning to unhealthy habits, therapy equips men with practical tools to manage pressure and navigate life’s challenges. 3. Improving CommunicationMany men struggle to express what they feel or need. Therapy enhances communication skills, helping improve relationships with partners, friends, and family. 4. Healing from TraumaWhether it’s childhood wounds, toxic relationships, or loss, therapy creates a safe space to process and heal from trauma. 5. Breaking Generational PatternsMen who engage in therapy often discover they are repeating unhelpful patterns modeled by previous generations—and therapy offers the tools to break the cycle. Society continues to break down the stigma related to therapy in general and therapy for men. By focusing on challenging outdated beliefs about men and mental health, less barriers will exist to keep men from engaging in the mental health care that can benefit them in healing from their past and working towards their goals. Resource: Chatmon B. N. (2020). Males and Mental Health Stigma. American journal ofmen's health, 14(4), 1557988320949322. https://doi.org/10.1177/1557988320949322 About the AuthorCandyce Young, MSEd, MHC-LP is a mental health counselor at Healing & Growth Counseling. Candyce is a culturally-informed clinician and takes pride in creating a safe environment for all clients that she works with, including men. She takes specific care in being aware and educated in the topic of men's mental health. She has worked with many people to break down stigma barriers and assist them in processing feelings and achieving their goals. Interested in learning more about Candyce? Check out her bio here. Interested in scheduling an appointment with Candyce? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
Understanding PMDD: A Guide for Therapy Clientsby Candyce Young, MSEd, MHC-LPPremenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) that affects a significant number of women. Oftentimes causing serious emotional, psychological, and physical symptoms. While PMS can bring irritability and discomfort, PMDD is much more intense, making it difficult for those affected to function in their daily lives. What is PMDD?According to the University of Oxford 31 million women around the world experience PMDD. Due to PMDD being a fairly new diagnosis it is estimated that the percentage of women living with PMDD is much higher (University of Oxford, 2024). PMDD is a mood disorder that typically occurs 7 to 10 days before menstruation starts. The symptoms of PMDD are far more debilitating than PMS and often interfere with work, relationships, and overall quality of life. It’s not just "bad period cramps"—PMDD can bring a combination of emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms that make it challenging to cope with alone. What are the Symptoms of PMDD?PMDD symptoms can vary from person to person, but some common signs can be broken down into 5 categories: Mood swings, Depression, Physical symptoms, Cognitive issues, and Changes in behavior. Let's explore each of these categories in more detail: Severe mood swings
Depression
Physical Symptoms
Cognitive Issues
Changes in behavior
What Causes PMDD?The exact cause of PMDD is still not entirely understood, but it is believed to be linked to hormonal fluctuations that occur during the menstrual cycle. In particular, the hormonal changes related to estrogen and progesterone may affect neurotransmitters in the brain, such as serotonin, which plays a role in mood regulation. Genetics, environmental stressors, and a history of trauma can also contribute to the severity of PMDD. Can Therapy Help People Experiencing PMDD?Living with PMDD can be incredibly challenging, but there are ways therapy can help manage symptoms. Here are a few strategies that may be beneficial: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)CBT is one of the most effective types of therapy for managing mood disorders like PMDD. It focuses on identifying negative thought patterns and replacing them with healthier, more balanced thinking. This can help clients develop coping strategies for handling the emotional rollercoaster of PMDD. Mindfulness & Relaxation TechniquesStress exacerbates the symptoms of PMDD, and mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help reduce anxiety and enhance emotional well-being. Lifestyle AdjustmentsTherapy can also guide clients through practical lifestyle changes that may alleviate symptoms. This can include diet adjustments, regular physical activity, and establishing a consistent sleep schedule—all of which are shown to improve overall mood and health. Support SystemsSometimes, just having a space to talk about the emotional strain of PMDD can be incredibly healing. Support groups and family therapy can help individuals feel understood and supported during their most challenging moments. When Should I Seek Help for PMDD?If you’re experiencing symptoms of PMDD that are interfering with your ability to function, it’s important to talk to a therapist or healthcare provider. You don't have to struggle through these intense feelings alone. Understanding PMDD and how it uniquely affects you is the first step toward better managing its impact. Therapy provides a supportive space to address not only the emotional challenges of PMDD but also the underlying thoughts, behaviors, and coping strategies that can make all the difference. If you think PMDD might be affecting your life, don't hesitate to reach out for help. I am here to offer you a safe environment to explore your symptoms and create a plan that works for you. University of Oxford. (2024, January 30). New data shows prevalence of Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2024-01-30-new-data-shows-prevalence-premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder. About the AuthorCandyce Young, MSEd, MHC-LP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. As a female clinician she understands the difficulty women face when trying to express what we feel and why. As Candyce works with her clients, she assists them in identifying their feelings, processing them, and gaining confidence in using coping skills to minimize negative self talk and increase self awareness. Interested in learning more about Candyce? Check out her bio here. Interested in scheduling an appointment? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
Can Gardening Help your Mental Health?by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS Now that spring is in full swing, gardening may be A) something you are looking forward to, B) something you are dreading but have to do, or C) something that you avoid at all costs. Whether gardening is a hobby or a task, it can be used as a tool to improve your mood and mental health. Research shows that engaging in gardening can decrease stress and anxiety levels significantly. It has also been seen to show a positive impact on decreasing depression. In this blog article we will explore the potential benefits of gardening on your mental health. MindfulnessOne way that gardening can be helpful to our mental heath is by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is the art of being fully in the present moment. The best way to do this is to focus on your 5 senses - sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. There are a few ways that one can engage in mindfulness while gardening. By focusing on sight, you can notice the colors of the plant and flowers, the shapes of the petals and leaves, and the life (yes, bugs and worms!) in the soil. Focusing on smell will allow you to enjoy the sweet aroma of the flowers. If you are gardening outside, you can listen to the sounds of life outside, including birds, bugs, or other animals nearby. Taste can be practiced when you have edible options in your garden, such as fruits, vegetables, or edible flowers. Touch allows you to focus on the textures of the soil, roots, and plants. Some may choose to ditch the gardening gloves to more thoroughly appreciate the sense of touch. Building a Sense of MasteryGardening on a regular basis can also build a sense of mastery, by learning and following through with a plan of caring for your plants. Enjoying the outcome of your hard work and dedication promotes a feeling of accomplishment, which can also improve mood. Should you be growing fruits or vegetables, you can bring the fruit and vegetables that you grow into the kitchen and continue building a sense of mastery by preparing and cooking them. If growing flowers, you can cut and create a bouquet to give as a gift or enjoy as a centerpiece on your table. Flower arrangement can become another area to build a sense of mastery. Changing Brain ChemistryGardening can also have a positive impact on hormones and the neurotransmitters in your brain. Research shows that engaging in direct contact with dirt when gardening can increase the release of serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a natural anti-depressant. Harvesting from the garden can increase the release of dopamine by seeing, smelling, and picking the fruit. Dopamine is released into the reward center of the brain, which brings about a feeling of happiness and mild euphoria. This release can also help to build an increased desire and motivation to continue gardening. So, if you think of how it may be difficult to start this process and stay motivated, know that once you harvest your first fruit or cut your first bunch of flowers, you will likely feel more natural motivation to continue! About the AuthorCindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS, is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. Cindy enjoys working with clients to implement self-care practices that enhance the work that they are doing in therapy. Gardening is an activity that many of her clients have incorporated into their daily lives, and it is a hobby that Cindy herself enjoys in her time outside of work. She is especially excited to see her peonies bloom this year! Interested in scheduling an appointment with our practice? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
What is the Butterfly Hug Method?by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACSWhat is a butterfly hug and how can it help? You may have heard the butterfly hug mentioned by a therapist or by a friend or family member who has done EMDR therapy. It is an easy and effective tool for managing stress and anxiety. In this blog article we will explore how to do the butterfly hug and how it works as a powerful tool in promoting mental and emotional health. How to do the Butterfly HugTo do a Butterfly Hug, first cross your arms over your chest, placing your fingertips gently on your collarbone or upper arms. It is similar to giving yourself a hug, and the criss-cross of your arms creates the look of a butterfly (look in a mirror the first time you do this if you think it would be helpful to see the visual). Tap your fingers gently on your collarbone or upper arms, alternating between left and right, at a relaxed rhythm (you are not being tested on keeping a beat, so there is no need to be exact!). Focus on slow and deep breaths while you tap. If your attention begins to wander, bring your awareness back to your breath and the feeling of your hands gently tapping. That's it! Why does the Butterfly Hug work?How is it that such a simple exercise can be so impactful? Let's explore some of the ways in which it works. Impact on the Nervous SystemThe Butterfly Hug has a calming impact on the nervous system. As you practice this tool, you may notice an increased feeling of calmness and slowing of racing thoughts and feeling of overwhelm. The parasympathetic nervous system is activated by engaging in the Butterfly Hug, which is the part of the autonomic system that is responsible for promoting relaxation. Nicknamed the "rest and digest" system, it is the system that helps the body to recover from stress and danger. It impacts many bodily systems that you don't often actively think about, such as heart rate, blood pressure, urination, digestion, and sweating, amongst others. We often see these things impacted negatively by stress and anxiety, so by specifically engaging the parasympathetic nervous system we are able to regulate these aspects to either prevent or treat stress and anxiety in our daily lives. Self-SoothingThe Butterfly Hug helps to self-soothe and ground oneself. This helps with emotional regulation and managing intense feelings. This comes from the way in which the Butterfly Hug brings you back to the present moment. By tapping on your upper arms or collarbones and focusing on this as well as your breath, you are using your senses to bring your attention to the present moment. Many unwanted mental health symptoms, such as increased worry about the future or feeling like our head is stuck in the past, can be alleviated in the moment by bringing our attention to the present moment. The act of doing this helps to slow racing thoughts and increase our connection the the world around us or our connection with ourself. When is it Helpful to Use the Butterfly Hug?The Butterly Hug is great as a standalone tool that is very portable. Consider this - you always have your arms and your breath with you, right? No fancy apps or additional items to carry. It is a great coping skill that can be used when you are feeling stressed, panicked, or anxious. It can be used as a tool when you feel like you are struggling, or one that you implement every so often throughout your day to prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed. By trying it out in different situations, you can find out when the tool is most effective. The Butterfly Hug is also used as a tool during EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) therapy, as a form of bilateral stimulation. Incorporating this into EMDR therapy assists with keeping a person grounded and present while healing from their past trauma. It also assists with the brain emotionally processing the trauma that is being worked on. (For more information about EMDR, see past blog posts including What is EMDR and How Does it Work? and How to get the Most out of EMDR Therapy. I hope that this blog post provides you with a tool that you can take with you into your life to decrease feelings of stress and anxiety. Of course, it is not a replacement for therapy, so if you find that this tool is not sufficient to keep you grounded and present in your life (amongst other tools you may already have), seek the help of a therapist or mental health clinician that can help. About the AuthorCindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. As an EMDR Certified Therapist and EMDRIA Approved Consultant, Cindy primarily focuses on EMDR in her practice with clients. She teaches the Butterfly Hug to almost all clients that she works with as a tool for grounding, self-soothing, and for emotional regulation. For EMDR clients it is a tool that is taught as preparation for EMDR work and often used for bilateral stimulation during EMDR reprocessing. She loves the Butterfly Hug as a tool that can be taken anywhere and utilized to help decrease stress and anxiety, both inside and outside of the therapy room. Interested in learning more about Cindy and her work? Check out her bio here. Interested in scheduling an appointment with one of Healing & Growth Counseling's clinicians, to learn tools such as the Butterfly Hug and to learn how to decrease stress and anxiety in your life? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
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PurposeBlog posts are meant to bring mental health awareness and education to anyone who visits our site. Please know that although reading blogs may be extremely helpful, they may not substitute the work that can be done in therapy. Archives
December 2025
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