Why do I Feel Stuck in my Head?by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACSDo you ever get that feeling like you can't get out of your head? You may notice that you struggle with connecting with your current environment, missing out on moments with friends and family. You may notice that you struggle with focusing on a task and completing it. You may notice that you feel like you "shut down" during normal daily activities. These are all different versions of getting stuck in you head. In this blog post, I hope to describe things that might attribute to this struggle and provide some tips for how to get unstuck. Stress & AnxietyTwo of the main contributors to getting stuck in your head are stress and anxiety. Stress tends to increase as the number and intensity of stressors in our lives increase. You may notice yourself thinking of your "to-do" list often, trying to make sure that you don't forget to complete a task. This can keep you hyper-focused on task completion, keeping you from being present in your daily life. I often utilize the metaphor of a web browser to illustrate this phenomenon. When each stressor or task is a different tab open in a web browser, a person can feel like they have upwards of 5, 10, 50, or 100 tabs open at a time. Imagine how overwhelming it would be to see this on your computer screen! Anxiety can also keep you stuck in your head. Anxiety is often described as excessive worry about the future. Someone who is worried about upcoming events may find themselves thinking about how the event will go and what will happen, often trying to map out every possible scenario so that they can cope ahead with it. Though coping ahead can be a valuable skill, when it takes up all of your headspace it can keep you from being present in your daily life.  OverthinkingSometimes we can get stuck in our heads when focusing on the past as well. Have you ever had something occur and then found yourself thinking about it repeatedly? You may find yourself rethinking your steps and actions taken in a certain event. This may be accompanied by a lot of self-criticism if you feel that you had made a mistake. It could be for something as simple as making an error in pronouncing a word during a public speaking experience, or calling someone by the wrong name accidentally. It is possible to feel trapped in thoughts about the event, even though there is no way to go back and change it.  Past TraumaFeeling stuck in your head can also be due to past trauma. When we experience something traumatic, it is jarring to our nervous system. Our brain is likely to struggle with being able to logically understand it. It is difficult to "digest" memories of a traumatic experience for this reason, leaving a person stuck trying to put together the pieces to better process it. Flashbacks, or experiences where someone feels that they are reliving a traumatic event, are an example of being stuck in your head. It can be difficult to bring yourself out of your head during a flashback due to the emotional response that often surges with it. How Can I Get Out of my Head?Now that you hopefully have some reflection on what might be causing you to feel stuck in your head, let's discuss some tools and resources that might help you to get yourself out of your head! Organize your ThoughsWhen you are stuck in your head due to stress and anxiety, organization might be helpful. Using a planner or calendar (virtual or paper) can help you to keep track of upcoming events and due dates for tasks. Write down a grocery list or type it into a note in your phone so that you aren't trying to remember everything you need to buy. Write down recipes and keep them all in one place to refer back to. There are many apps that exist that are focused on organization as well, which can assist you with this goal.  Practice MindfulnessMindfulness involves placing your focus on the present moment and noticing everything about it using your senses without judgment. This helps to bring you out of your head by focusing on the world around you. First, try mindfully observing something. For example, when you go for a walk, notice the sounds around you, the things you see, the feeling of your feet touching the ground, and the smells. Then try to mindfully participate in your activities. An example of this would be to let loose and dance around your house as you listen to your favorite music. Starting to implement mindfulness into your life can be frustrating, as you might notice your mind wander back into you head at times. People often criticize themselves if this happens, feeling as if they are failing. Keep in mind that each time you notice your mind wandering and return to a state of mindfulness, it strengthens the new healthier pathways you are building in your brain! Reprocess Your Trauma (Safely)If you are stuck in your head due to a past traumatic experience, it may be necessary to reprocess that trauma memory in order to get unstuck and out of your head. Though this might seem like a scary process, there are ways to do so safely especially with the help of a mental health professional. Some mental health therapists have specialized training in helping clients to heal from past trauma and there are specific therapy modalities that were created to help with this process (EMDR, TF-CBT, CPT). Practice AcceptanceAcceptance can help you to get out of your head by letting go of the things that we often overthink. If you find yourself ruminating over a past mistake that you made, having acceptance of it being something that happened in the past and that it cannot be changed can stop the repetitive thoughts. Try using some of these phrases:
Engage your BodyA great way to get out of your head is to get into your body! By moving our body, it can help us to bring our focus to other things, such as the exercise we are doing, the feeling of a stretch of a muscle, or our breath. Quick and easy ways to engage your body can include doing a few jumping jacks, doing some simple yoga poses, or going for a quick walk/run. You may have to try a few to find the movement that works best for you. I hope that this post is helpful to give some possible causes for feeling stuck in your head, as well as to give you some helpful ideas on how you can work towards getting unstuck. Although it can be a process, it is worth it to get out of your head and start connecting with and enjoying life!  About the AuthorCindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS is the owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. She has worked with many clients over the years that have felt stuck in their heads for one reason or another. Cindy enjoys teaching clients grounding skills that can help them to get out of their heads and connect with the world around them. She has seen so many clients be able to connect and enjoy life by decreasing anxiety, healing from past traumas, and letting go of the past. Cindy finds it helpful to use a planner to organize her schedule and to-do list. She also enjoys grounding herself by mindfully participating in activities like going for a walk or doing yoga. Interested in learning more about Cindy? Read her bio here. Interested in scheduling an appointment to help you get out of your head? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
What is the Meaning of Healthy Communication?by Heather DeGuire, MHC-LPCommunication is the imparting or exchange of information or news. There are different characteristics of communication. Some are: body language, tone of voice, eye contact, and boundary level. Take a moment and consider this: How do you express your emotions and ideas with others?  Communication shapes our experiences with others based on how we verbalize our needs and emotions. Depending on how emotions are verbalized or boundaries are set can totally change the path of a conversation. This could result in a disagreement if another person misinterprets the information you are conveying because of the tone and deliverance of communication used. When you are communicating socially with others your tone and deliverance should match your intentions. Interpersonal v. Intrapersonal CommunicationCommunication comes in different forms; you have external communication and internal communication. Internal communication is the form of communication used most often throughout the day. This form of communication is called intrapersonal communication; it is the internal dialogue in your mind that you use before you engage in social interaction with others. The intrapersonal communication is the self-talk that guides your interpersonal communication socially. Interpersonal communication is the exchange of information between one or more people. It is done typically by speaking, but can also be done in writing. We often engage in interpersonal communication with many people daily, including family, friends, co-workers, and strangers.  How to Use Assertive CommunicationAssertive communication skills allow you the ability to assertively express feelings and needs without being critical or judgmental of the other person. Assertive communication skills can help with regulating your emotions during social interactions with others. If the communication used towards others sounds critical or blaming it is more likely that the other person will respond with defensiveness. This results in the message being misinterpreted and the other person becoming argumentative, which is most likely not the response that you are hoping for. I-StatementsAn I-Statement is an assertive communication skill that provides the person with a simple way of speaking about their feelings and emotions without appearing critical or judgmental. First, be sure that your intrapersonal communication is neutral/positive before engaging (this will positively influence your use of communication skills with others). As you are expressing your thoughts and feelings with the other person, be sure to start your statements with the word "I". When we use "You" to start our statements, it can often be mis-interpreted as finger-pointing or blaming. Keeping it in the "I" makes sure that the speaker is the subject of the sentence. The other person is more likely to engage in a constructive conversation when I-Statements are used. The reason for developing strong assertive communication skills is to help you regulate your emotions while navigating through difficult social interactions that are being influenced by a person’s internal (intrapersonal) communication. This assertive communication skill of I-statements allows you to describe your thoughts and feelings without blaming or being critical of the other person. Developing assertive communication skills can be challenging. Take some time to reflect on your intrapersonal and interpersonal communication, and take small steps towards incorporating assertive communication skills in your day to day life. You can work towards this goal with a friend or family member, giving each other tips and encouragement along the way!  About the AuthorHeather DeGuire, MA, MHC-LP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. Heather works with adolescents and adults, both individually and as couples, on assertive communication. Heather is a big believer in working on intrapersonal communication with clients, as she sees many client struggle with the way in which they speak to themselves, which then impacts their communication style with others. She regularly teaches assertive communication skills to clients and helps them to incorporate them into their daily lives. Interested in learning more about Heather? Read her bio here. Interested in scheduling an appointment with Heather? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
Managing Anxiety During the Holidaysby Heather DeGuire, MS, MHC-LPAnxiety symptoms are characterized by a feeling of overwhelming sense of worry and concern. The holidays sometimes trigger or amplify anxiety symptoms, especially for those without financial stability or those receiving pressure to attend social gatherings. The holidays could trigger an increase in frequency and duration of anxiety symptoms because of what the holiday means to the person. Some people are not affected by the holidays because they don’t have a negative experience attached to it, whereas some individuals find it hard to regulate their emotions or decrease their intrusive anxious thoughts triggered from the holidays because of their own traumatic experiences related to the holiday. What Causes Anxiety During the Holidays?There are many reasons that could result in someone feeling stressed during the holidays that increases a person’s anxiety symptoms. Some scenarios that affect people during the holidays could be someone who has lost a parent, a child that has passed away, a relative aging and unable to travel alone, or the loss of a friend/companion. The holidays can also be difficult for parents because of their expectations that the holiday should be perfect for their children. It is important to find a way of letting go of "perfect" and enjoying the moment with your family, because memories are not planned, they are created in the moment. Anxiety symptoms triggered from the holidays are sometimes intensified by a person’s lack of family, social support, or financial stability.  How Can I Cope with Holiday Anxiety?Coping with anxiety is unique to each person and looks different for everyone. Some ways to cope with anxiety symptoms triggered during the holidays could look like engaging in self-care or using cognitive reframing strategies. Read on for some ideas to utilize this holiday season: How to use Socratic Questioning to decrease holiday anxietyA form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that can help you to cope with anxiety symptoms is Socratic Questioning techniques. This skill helps to challenge the maladaptive thoughts triggered during the holidays and replaces them with rational thoughts. This skill can help you to change the way that you view a difficult situation that emerges during the holidays. Here's an example: Someone who is really anxious about the holidays might be focused on thinking about there being so much to do and not being able to handle all of it. They can question themselves with "What would happen if everything isn't done perfectly?" to which they might respond with "People would get disappointed." Questionning can continue - "Do people care more about perfection or about having fun spending time together?" This can help this person to recognize that people are more interested in spending time together than everthing being perfect. How to use self care to decrease holiday anxietySome self-care tips to help manage anxiety symptoms during the holidays could be to stay organized and commit to a plan, create your own holiday traditions, make space for feelings of grief when they arise, and keep stress levels at a minimal by delegating or taking space for yourself as needed. Another coping strategy to help manage anxiety symptoms during the holidays could look like journaling what makes you feel anxious. This will help identify and challenge insecurities directly.  How to use mindfulness to decrease holiday anxietyFinding mindfulness activities during the holidays will help you stay focused in the present moment and connect with loved ones during the holidays. It is important during this stressful time to learn to treat yourself with love and kindness as you navigate through the difficulties that arise throughout the holidays. A simple mindfulness exercise can be to sit with something that you can enjoy with your senses. For example, a cup of coffee or tea - sit and notice everything about it, including the smell, the warmth of the mug (make sure it isn't too hot!), the sight of the steam coming off of it, and the taste of it as you drink it. Mindfulness can also be used while attending holiday events. Rather than focusing on everything going as planned, zoom in on the fun that is being had. This may include a game that children are playing, laughter amongst your family, or sitting quietly watching snow fall. There is beauty in so many moments that, should we allow ourselves to focus on it, can help us to feel content and at peace. About the AuthorHeather DeGuire, MHC-LP, is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling, providing in person counseling to clients located in the Massapequa Park area, as well as online therapy to clients located across the state of New York. Heather strongly believes in teaching clients coping skills that can be incorporated into their daily lives. As the holidays approach each year, she finds that many of her clients express increased stress and anxiety, which inspired her to write this blog post. Heather finds the skills that she has shared here to be great during the holidays and at all times of year! Interested in learning more about Heather? Check out her bio here. Interested in scheduling an appointment with Heather? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.
Grounding 101by Sarah Mohan, MS, CRC, MHC-LP, CVE, WIP-CAnxiety is a feeling most people have experienced at least once in their life. When anxiety strikes, it can take over us completely, and take us completely out of our element. Grounding is a skill that can be used to help bring us back into a space of awareness that reduces feelings of anxiety, The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise is a mindfulness technique that helps people manage stress and anxiety by focusing on the present moment. It involves using all five senses to observe the environment around you: 5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. It could be a pen, a spot on the ceiling, anything in your surroundings. 4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. It could be your hair, a pillow, or the ground under your feet. 3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. This could be any external sound. If you can hear your belly rumbling that counts! Focus on things you can hear outside of your body. 2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. Maybe you are in your office and smell pencil, or maybe you are in your bedroom and smell a pillow. If you need to take a brief walk to find a scent you could smell soap in your bathroom, or nature outside. 1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste. What does the inside of your mouth taste like—gum, coffee, or the sandwich from lunch?  The 5-4-3-2-1 technique can help people: Redirect AttentionBy engaging multiple senses, the technique helps people focus on the present and avoid anxious thoughts. Calm the Nervous SystemThe technique interrupts the fight-or-flight response, which can reduce anxiety and stress. Become Aware of SurroundingsThe technique can help people become aware of their surroundings and feel safe. People can practice the 5-4-3-2-1 technique almost anywhere, such as at their desk, while standing in line, or while gardening. If practicing at night, people can close their eyes and visualize the five things.  About the AuthorSarah Mohan, MS, CRC, MHC-LP, CVE, WIP-C is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. Sarah recognizes from her work with many clients that grounding is not always easy, and can be negatively impacted by many factors, including anxiety, depression, and past trauma. She enjoys teaching grounding tools that can add value to everyday life. She finds it rewarding when she helps clients to incorporate simple tools that make big impacts. Sarah finds grounding helpful in her own life when she feels overwhelmed, allowing her to clear her mind and organize her thoughts. Are you interested in reading more about Sarah? Check out her clinician bio page here. Are you interested in scheduling an appointment for in-person or online therapy to focus on learning grounding skills and more? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out a Contact Form.
How to Get the Most Out of Online Therapyby Candyce Young, MS, MHC-LP Online therapy became very popular during the COVID-19 pandemic. Prior to the pandemic, a majority of clinicians would not even consider providing online services. Did you know that Teletherapy was actually created in 1960 (using a closed-circuit television link, as the internet did not exist back then!)? How far the world has come! Following the pandemic, online therapy continues to be very popular. Even though many people are back at work in the office and interacting in public spaces, many people continue to prefer online therapy to in person therapy. According to a survey done by The Washington Post, 55% of recent mental health care is done using online platforms. (1) When we think about the reasons that online therapy became popular, not only did telehealth meet the needs of the pandemic but it also helped: -Individuals with limited transportation -Fit the schedule of the busy parent/employer/employee/traveler/etc. -Allowing for more comfort in session -Provided accessibility for family sessions, especially when family is not local -Assisted people to be able to work with the ideal clinician for them if the clinician's office was located far away -Accessibility to services when feeling under the weather or immunocompromised Let’s face it- the idea of an unknown room and sitting on an uncomfortable couch while discussing tough topics can seem unappealing to some. If you are identifying with some of the above reasons, then online therapy might be right for you! It can feel like quite the process to transition from in person counseling to online counseling. Change is tough, but that is what brings most to Therapy right? It's the need for change and the room for creating a fresh perspective. I hope that some of the tips listed below will help you in preparing for and getting the most out of online counseling.  How to Prepare for Online TherapyOnline Therapy is similar to in person sessions in many ways. Here are some tips on how to prepare beforehand so that you can get the most out of your online therapy appointments: Limit DistractionsSimilar to in person appointments, online therapy can be interrupted by the presence of a cell phone use, such as if a call, text, or notification is received. Online therapy also allows for the possibility of other interruptions, including pets, family, neighbors, etc. Therapy is supposed to be all about You! Let family know that you are in an important appointment so that they do not interrupt. Try to take your dog for a walk before the appointment so that they may nap or rest while you are meeting. Limiting distractions allows you to get out of online therapy what you put in. And as far as phones go - ignoring the Bath & Body Works weekend sale alert is a must! :-) Create Your SpaceThis means wherever you feel is quiet, safe, and comfortable enough is where your session can take place. This can be outside on your porch (as long as your neighbors are not within earshot!), in your bedroom, or during your lunch break in your car. Online therapy allows you to be creative to make sure that the session fits your needs. Feel free to fill your therapy space with items and decor that support your therapy process. Add a comfortable blanket, soft lighting, and/or a houseplant, or anything else that you feel supports your therapy process. And remember, even if you start doing online therapy in one location, you can always make changes for upcoming appointments if you find that would be helpful for you! Prior to your appointment, check to make sure that your internet connection is strong and secure in the area you will be meeting. This will help the session to flow without being interrupted by internet concerns.  AppearanceTelehealth counseling being accessible at any time is a wonderful thing, but having some rules is important to keep it professional and make it most effective. Comfy still requires compliance, which means please dress appropriately like you would if the session was in person. This idea also goes for conducting yourself as if the session was in person. So No - you can not drink your Moscato during your evening online therapy session. Making a cup of coffee or tea to enjoy during the session is ok though! I know it seems like a lot of restrictions but again if it's going to take away from your focus, then how can you really get something from your sessions? Mood-altering substances can interfere with the therapy process and lead to you getting less out of your appointments. So it's best to leave them out. Things to Keep in Mind During Online TherapyHere are some things to keep in mind about the process during an online therapy appointment: InteractiveSimilar to in-person therapy, online therapy is interactive. Depending on the clinician's style, your session in online therapy may involve various interactive components, such as teaching and practicing mindfulness techniques, reviewing your intake form, exploration of thoughts and emotions, or modeling a meditation practice. A benefit to online therapy is the ability that you have to bring your therapist into your world. If you use music as a way to cope, bring some of your favorite records to your session. If you have been working on building mastery by learning a new song on guitar, play a clip of the song for them. This interaction can help to build rapport and share your skills and growth with your clinician.  Plans for Self CareLet your appointment lead right into a time for self care, if possible. Have your journal right next to you to write and reflect following your session. Have your yoga mat rolled out in front of you, even if you may only have time for 10-15 minutes following your therapy session. Online therapy is just as powerful as in person therapy, in that you may benefit from a little time after the session to recharge before going back to your day. Being that I focus on providing online therapy in my practice, I must say I am biased. How wonderful it is to reach so many incredible people from all over New York! Being able to work with so many people in their daily environments has taken their therapy to new heights. I have witnessed clients using their coping mechanisms when feeling high anxiety. I have assisted clients in using grounding techniques during their most stressful time of the day. I have witnessed clients showing their self-care techniques & practices and displaying posters from amazing concerts they attended. The benefits and abilities online therapy has are so undeniably amazing! Here is my key takeaway: Both in-person and online therapy can be helpful and effective. You are able to choose what works best for you. Taking care of You & meeting your needs is the top importance of it all. I am overjoyed that technology has caught up with the times and as your Clinician, I will prioritize meeting your needs using online therapy. (1)https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/02/12/mental-health-online-telemedicine-therapy/ About the AuthorCandyce Young, MS, MHC-LP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling working with clients struggling with relationships, anxiety, depression, and personal growth using online therapy. She has extensive experience at helping her clients to feel safe and comfortable as well as thrive using an online format for therapy. Her favorite two things about providing online therapy in New York is the opportunity to work with a variety of people across the state and the ability to help people use new coping and grounding skills in their daily spaces, helping them to integrate these new practices into their lives. Want to read more about Candyce? Click here to read her bio page. Would you like to read more about Online Therapy at Healing & Growth Counseling? Click here to read our Online Therapy in NY page. Ready to schedule an appointment? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form.
Plan Ahead to Cope with Holiday Stressby Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS, EMDRIA Certified Therapist & Approved Consultant Did you feel some pressure begin with the first Mariah Carey reference on November 1st? Me too! Now that the 50% off Halloween candy aisles are cleared out and holiday decor is in abundance, the holidays feel as if they are already here. Unfortunately, along with the holidays often comes an increase in stress levels. Nearly 9 in 10 US adults report stressors that impact them during the holiday season. 41% of adults report an increase in stress during the months of November through January (1). This increase in stress can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance use, overeating, and overuse of social media. It can take people out of their usual balanced practices of proper amounts of sleep, exercise, and engaging in hobbies. This all leads to many people "going through the motions" during the holiday season rather than mindfully enjoying it.  Although it already feels like they are just around the corner, there is still some time to put plans into place to promote a more balanced, enjoyable holiday season. Read on for three ways to start preparing now for the holidays so that you can keep yourself balanced and enjoy your holiday season: Schedule Your PrioritiesWhat are the holiday events you really enjoy? A local tree lighting? A friend’s potluck dinner? Early morning black Friday shopping (in person or in your slippers, depending on your style)? Making holiday cookies with your kids? Add them to your calendar NOW, in permanent ink! These are your non-negotiables. It is important to have events in our lives that fill our cup, energize us, and help us to slow down and be in the moment. By identifying them now and putting them on the calendar, you can ensure that you can look forward to and enjoy them this season. Notice this - is your holiday calendar typically full of traditions that were passed down to you from older generations? Consider whether these traditions continue to suit you. Are there new traditions that you want to develop? As you are planning, notice whether you are adding things to your calendar out of obligation or desire. Don't forget that this is your holiday season; you deserve to enjoy your own traditions too!  Develop a Self-Care PlanThere are likely to be points during the holiday season when you notice increased levels of pressure or difficult emotions. Planning ahead for these moments will help you to be able to respond to your needs more quickly. I like to break it down into 3 levels: 1 - Quick Self-Care (less than 5 minutes)When you only have a few minutes to recharge, it can feel impossible to do so. But there are ways to rebalance quickly. Consider starting and/or ending your day with self-care regularly. You can also use these tools during the day when feeling overwhelmed. Try them out in different situations to see which ones are most effective for you.
2 - Self-Care Break (1-2 hours)When you have 1-2 hours to take care of yourself, the plans can be a little more involved. This level of self care may involve getting out of the house, to grab a cup of coffee, go for a long walk or hike, get your nails done, or grab lunch with a friend. It can also be done at home, such as by taking a long bath, reading a book you have been enjoying, or doing a paint-by-number. Keep in mind that the activity needs to be one that you participate in mindfully, and not one that you find that you “zone out” during and barely remember. Consider “unplugging” during these self care hours by turning your phone off, to prevent the temptation or habit of picking it up and starting to scroll. 3 - Self-Care Day (several hours)This level of self care can be needed after a difficult family gathering, or a marathon of a few obligations in a row. Consider planning a self-care day, which can be done by combining several of your shorter self-care options into one day, or by planning a little day-trip for yourself, either alone or with others who you feel energized to be around. It is helpful to plan these ahead of time, perhaps on days following events that tend to be stressful. This can be a great way to use up one of your remaining PTO (paid time off) days from work - for a Mental Health Day! Consider going for a long drive to see the beautiful fall foliage, attending a day-long retreat, or attending a sporting event, show, or concert that you enjoy. It can be planned ahead, or planned as you go based on how you are feeling and what you are in the mood for at that time. Once again, try to “unplug” so as to not get distracted by notifications on your phone and to avoid the habit of scrolling social media.  |