by Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP Childhood Emotional Neglect: The Trauma That Often Goes UnnoticedWhen people think about childhood trauma, they often picture the experiences that are easier to identify: physical abuse, violence, major conflict, or the loss of someone important. These experiences can have a profound impact, but trauma is not limited to the things that happen to us. Sometimes, trauma can also come from the things we needed but did not consistently receive. What about the child who was provided for physically but did not feel emotionally seen? The child who had food, clothes, and a safe place to live, but learned that their feelings were too much, their needs were inconvenient, or their emotions had to be handled alone? This is the experience of childhood emotional neglect. Unlike experiences that leave obvious evidence, emotional neglect can be much harder to recognize. There may not be one specific moment someone can point to and say, “That was the moment everything changed.” Instead, it is often the repeated experience of something missing. But the absence of something can still have an impact. Research on childhood emotional neglect has shown that when children consistently lack emotional support, validation, and responsiveness from caregivers, it can affect emotional regulation, relationships, self-esteem, stress responses, and mental health later in life. The challenge is that many people struggle to identify emotional neglect because nothing “obvious” happened. They may think, “My parents loved me,” or “I had everything I needed,” and those things may be true. But children need more than physical care. They also need to feel understood, comforted, supported, and emotionally safe. What Does Childhood Emotional Neglect Look Like?What makes emotional neglect difficult to identify is that it often exists alongside love and care. A parent can provide for a child, show up for important moments, and still struggle to provide the emotional support that helps a child feel understood and secure. A child experiencing emotional neglect may have their basic needs met while still feeling emotionally alone. It may look like a child being told to “stop crying,” “calm down,” or feeling like their emotions are an overreaction rather than something that deserves support. Sometimes, it looks quieter: a child who stops sharing their feelings because they do not want to be a burden, create conflict, or add stress to the people around them. It can also happen in families where achievement, independence, or being “well behaved” is highly valued, but emotions are rarely discussed. A child may learn that being successful, helpful, or easy to manage gets them positive attention, while expressing sadness, anger, fear, or needing comfort feels uncomfortable. Sometimes, this child becomes known as the “easy child”, the one who does not ask for much, handles things on their own, and rarely causes problems. While this may look like independence from the outside, it can also be a sign that a child learned their needs were better kept to themselves. Over time, they may begin to believe that needing support is a weakness or that their emotions are something they have to manage alone.  How Does Emotional Neglect Show Up In Adulthood?Many adults who experienced emotional neglect struggle to identify what they need because they spent years learning to focus on everyone else. They may be very independent, but that independence can sometimes come from the belief that relying on others is unsafe or disappointing. They may struggle to ask for help, receive care, or recognize their own emotions because they learned that other people’s needs mattered more. Some people become perfectionists or people pleasers because being “good,” successful, or easy to be around felt like a way to earn acceptance. Others develop a strong inner critic because they never had consistent reassurance that their feelings and needs were valid. Emotional neglect can also impact relationships. Someone may become highly sensitive to rejection or distance, while others may disconnect from their emotions and struggle to let people get close. These responses are not signs that someone is broken. They are often adaptations. A child who learns, “My feelings are too much,” may become an adult who apologizes for having needs. A child who learns, “I have to handle things on my own,” may become an adult who struggles to accept support. A child who learns, “My emotions create problems,” may become an adult who avoids conflict or constantly tries to keep others happy. Why Is Emotional Neglect So Difficult To Recognize?One of the hardest parts about identifying emotional neglect is that many people feel conflicted about acknowledging it. They may think: “My parents loved me.” “They did the best they could.” “My childhood wasn’t that bad.” “Other people experienced worse.” And those things may all be true. Recognizing emotional neglect does not mean someone had a terrible childhood or that their parents were intentionally harmful. Many caregivers love their children deeply while also struggling to provide emotional support, validation, or consistency because of their own upbringing, stress, or lack of emotional awareness. At the same time, intention and impact can both matter. A parent can love their child and still miss important emotional needs. A child can have happy memories and still carry pain from moments when they felt unseen, unheard, or alone. This experience is also often minimized by others. People may say, “But your parents loved you,” or “They provided everything for you.” While these statements may be well-intended, they can dismiss the emotional experience of someone who is struggling. Understanding emotional neglect is not about blaming parents. It is about recognizing how early experiences shape the way we relate to ourselves and others.  Healing From Childhood Emotional NeglectHealing often begins with learning to recognize the emotions and needs that may have been ignored for a long time. Many people have to learn skills that were never modeled for them: identifying feelings, setting boundaries, asking for support, practicing self-compassion, and building relationships where they do not have to earn their place. Therapy can provide a space to explore these patterns and understand where they came from. It can help people reconnect with parts of themselves they learned to minimize and develop a stronger sense of emotional safety. The goal is not to blame the past or stay stuck in what was missing. The goal is to understand how those experiences shaped you and begin building something different. Because what you did not receive as a child may have affected you, but it does not have to define the relationship you have with yourself or others moving forward. Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. She is passionate about her work with clients who have survived childhood trauma and neglect. She finds that when clients have difficulty achieving their goals, it can often be due to the impact of childhood neglect. By gaining insight into the ways in which childhood experiences have influenced one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, work can begin on healing from the past and shifting the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a way that allows one to move forward.
by Fallon Panetta, MS, MHC-LP Helping Teens Manage Anxiety & School Stress Before the School Year BeginsFor many teens, the start of a new school year brings excitement, new opportunities, and a chance to reconnect with friends. At the same time, it can also bring increased pressure, anxiety, and uncertainty. Academic expectations, social dynamics, extracurricular activities, and the desire to succeed can quickly become overwhelming, even before the first day of school. While some stress is a normal part of life, ongoing anxiety can begin to affect a teen's emotional well being, relationships, sleep, and ability to focus. Recognizing these challenges early and providing support can help teens enter the school year feeling more confident and prepared. Signs Your Teen May Be StrugglingAnxiety does not always look the way parents expect. Instead of talking openly about their worries, teens may show their stress through changes in behavior. Some common signs include:
These symptoms are not a sign of weakness or laziness. Anxiety is a real mental health condition that can interfere with everyday functioning when left untreated. Why Starting Therapy Before School Can HelpBeginning therapy before the school year starts allows teens to build a relationship with their therapist before the demands of school increase. Establishing trust early often makes it easier for teens to use therapy as a resource when challenges arise throughout the year. Therapy provides a safe, supportive environment where teens can learn practical skills to manage stress, improve confidence, and better understand their emotions. Rather than waiting until anxiety becomes overwhelming, teens can develop healthy coping strategies they can rely on from the very beginning of the school year.  Strategies that Help Teens Manage AnxietyEvery teen is different, but several evidence based strategies can make a significant difference. Learn to Recognize AnxietyOne of the first steps is helping teens identify what anxiety feels like in both their mind and body. Racing thoughts, muscle tension, upset stomach, or a fast heartbeat are common signs. Recognizing these signals early allows teens to respond before anxiety escalates. Challenge Unhelpful ThoughtsAnxiety often leads teens to expect the worst. They may believe they will fail a test, embarrass themselves, or disappoint others. Therapy teaches teens how to examine these thoughts and replace them with more balanced, realistic perspectives. This cognitive restructuring helps reduce anxiety and build confidence over time. Develop Healthy Coping SkillsSimple coping techniques can have a powerful impact when practiced consistently. These may include deep breathing, grounding exercises, mindfulness, journaling, positive self talk, physical activity, or taking short breaks during stressful moments. The goal is to create a personalized toolbox of strategies that teens can use both at school and at home. Build Organizational SkillsFeeling disorganized often increases anxiety. Therapists can help teens develop routines for managing homework, studying, balancing extracurricular activities, and planning ahead. Small organizational changes can significantly reduce feelings of overwhelm. Strengthen Self ConfidenceAnxiety and low self esteem frequently go hand in hand. Therapy helps teens recognize their strengths, celebrate progress, and develop greater confidence in their ability to handle challenges. As confidence grows, anxiety often becomes more manageable.  Supporting Your TeenParents play an important role in helping teens navigate stress. Creating opportunities for open conversations, validating emotions, encouraging healthy routines, and seeking support when needed can make a meaningful difference.
Every teen experiences stress differently, and there is no one size fits all approach. Therapy offers individualized support that meets teens where they are and equips them with skills they can continue using long after the school year begins. Helping teens build emotional resilience is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. When they learn how to understand and manage anxiety, they are better prepared not only for school but for life's many challenges ahead. by Talia Bina Gaslighting: What it Really Is (and Why the Term is Often Misused)Gaslighting has become a widely used term online, often applied to any situation where someone feels dismissed, disagreed with, or misunderstood. But clinically and psychologically, gaslighting is more specific than that—and understanding the difference matters. At its core, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone systematically causes another person to doubt their perception of reality, memory, or sanity. Over time, this can lead a person to question what they saw, felt, or experienced, even when their original perception was accurate. It is not simply disagreement. It is not someone having a different perspective. And it is not every invalidating comment. Gaslighting is a pattern of repeated reality distortion paired with power or control dynamics. What Gaslighting Actually Looks LikeGaslighting tends to involve patterns such as:
Over time, the impact is not just emotional—it is cognitive. The person begins to second-guess themselves, rely heavily on the other person’s version of events, and lose trust in their own internal signals. This is what makes gaslighting particularly destabilizing: it targets a person’s sense of reality and self-trust.  Why Gaslighting is Often Linked to Narcissistic AbuseGaslighting is commonly discussed in the context of narcissistic abuse, not because all narcissistic traits automatically involve gaslighting, but because certain abusive relational patterns can include it as a control strategy. In narcissistic abuse dynamics, gaslighting may function to:
Over time, the relationship can become centered around one person defining reality, while the other increasingly doubts their own. Importantly, not every conflict with a narcissistic or emotionally immature person is gaslighting. The key distinction is pattern, intent (conscious or unconscious), and the erosion of reality testing over time. Gaslighting vs. Normal ConflictOne reason the term is being overused is because it gets confused with normal relational disagreement. Healthy conflict may involve:
Gaslighting, on the other hand, is not about resolving differences—it is about distorting reality in a way that benefits one person’s control, often at the expense of another’s sense of self. The Psychological Impact of GaslightingWhen gaslighting is chronic, it can lead to:
Why the Term "Gaslighting" MattersUsing the word “gaslighting” accurately is important because it preserves the seriousness of what it actually is. When everything becomes gaslighting, the term loses meaning—and people who are genuinely experiencing psychological manipulation may feel less certain about naming it. At the same time, learning the concept can be validating for those who have experienced long-term reality distortion in relationships where their perceptions were repeatedly dismissed or rewritten.  A Quick Check: Is it Gaslighting?A helpful question is: “Is my reality being misunderstood in this moment—or consistently being rewritten?” That distinction often separates normal relational conflict from something more concerning. Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling who specializes in working with individuals who have experienced gaslighting and narcissistic abuse. She works with her clients to provide validation and to untangle the complex web of emotions that can be caused by gaslighting.
by Fallon Panetta, MS, MHC-LP Why Summer is a Great Time to Start TherapyWhen most people think about starting therapy, it is often during a crisis. Stress becomes overwhelming, anxiety increases, relationships become strained, or life simply feels too difficult to manage alone. While therapy is absolutely there to support people through those moments, you do not have to wait until you are struggling to benefit from it. In fact, summer can be one of the best times to begin therapy. The slower pace that often comes with the summer months creates an opportunity to focus on yourself before the demands of fall and winter begin. Rather than reacting to stress after it builds, therapy allows you to prepare for it in advance. Build a Relationship Before You Need ItOne of the most important parts of therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist. Feeling comfortable enough to open up takes time, and trust is not built overnight. Starting therapy during a calmer season gives you the opportunity to get to know your therapist without the pressure of being in the middle of a crisis. You can establish a strong foundation, develop trust, and create a space where you feel heard, understood, and supported. When future stressors arise, whether it is the start of a new school year, increased work responsibilities, family changes, or the busy holiday season, you will already have an established relationship with someone who understands your goals, strengths, and challenges. Learn Coping Skills Before Stress IncreasesLife naturally comes with seasons of increased stress. For many people, fall brings busy schedules, school routines, extracurricular activities, and changing work demands. Winter often introduces holiday obligations, financial pressures, and for some, seasonal mood changes. Instead of waiting until you are overwhelmed, therapy gives you the opportunity to build healthy coping skills ahead of time. During sessions, you might learn how to recognize stress triggers, manage anxious thoughts, regulate emotions, improve communication, set healthy boundaries, and practice mindfulness techniques that help you stay grounded. As these skills become familiar through practice, they are much easier to use when life becomes more demanding. The goal is not to eliminate stress. Stress is a normal part of life. The goal is to increase your confidence in handling whatever comes your way.  Be Proactive Instead of ReactiveWe take preventive care in many areas of our lives. We schedule annual physicals, visit the dentist for routine cleanings, exercise to stay healthy, and maintain our vehicles before problems become serious. Mental health deserves that same attention. Therapy is not only for times when something feels wrong. It is also a place for personal growth, self reflection, building resilience, and developing healthier habits. Addressing concerns early often prevents them from becoming more overwhelming later. Whether you are adjusting to a life transition, managing mild anxiety, working through relationship challenges, or simply wanting to understand yourself better, therapy provides tools that strengthen your emotional well being before difficulties grow. Summer Offers More FlexibilityFor many individuals and families, summer schedules provide a little more breathing room. Without homework, early mornings, and packed extracurricular calendars, children and teens often have greater flexibility for appointments. Adults may also find it easier to prioritize therapy with vacation time or more flexible work schedules. Beginning therapy during the summer also helps establish a routine that can continue into the fall when life becomes busier. Rather than trying to fit therapy into an already overwhelming schedule, you have the opportunity to make it part of your regular self care routine. Therapy is Not Just for CrisisMany people delay therapy because they believe their struggles are not significant enough to seek help. The truth is, therapy can benefit anyone who wants to better understand themselves, strengthen relationships, improve emotional well being, or develop healthier ways of coping with life's challenges. There does not need to be a major life event or mental health diagnosis to benefit from talking with a therapist. Sometimes therapy is simply about creating space to slow down, reflect, and grow.  Investing in Your Future SelfThink of therapy as preparing for the seasons ahead. Just as athletes train before competition and students prepare before important exams, caring for your mental health before stress increases can make a meaningful difference.
The skills you develop today become tools you will continue using for months and years to come. If you have been thinking about starting therapy, summer offers a wonderful opportunity to begin. It allows you to build a trusting relationship with your therapist, strengthen coping skills, and create healthy habits before the demands of fall and winter arrive. You do not have to wait until life feels overwhelming to prioritize your mental health. Some of the strongest foundations are built during life's quieter seasons, making it easier to face future challenges with confidence, resilience, and support. by Fallon Panetta, MS, MHC-LP Understanding PTSD: More Than What Happened to YouJune is PTSD Awareness Month, a time dedicated to increasing understanding of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and supporting those who are affected by it. While PTSD is often associated with military veterans, it can impact anyone who has experienced or witnessed a traumatic event. Trauma can come in many forms. It may result from abuse, neglect, accidents, medical emergencies, natural disasters, violence, the sudden loss of a loved one, or other deeply distressing experiences. PTSD is not a sign of weakness or an inability to cope. Rather, it is a natural response to events that overwhelm a person's sense of safety and ability to process what happened. What is PTSD?PTSD is a mental health condition that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. While it is normal to feel upset, fearful, or anxious after something difficult occurs, PTSD involves symptoms that persist long after the event has passed and begin to interfere with daily life. For some individuals, symptoms may begin shortly after the traumatic event. For others, symptoms may not appear until months or even years later.  Common Symptoms of PTSDPTSD can affect people differently, but common symptoms often fall into several categories: Re-Experiencing SymptomsThese symptoms make it feel as though the trauma is happening all over again. Examples include:
Avoidance SymptomsMany individuals with PTSD work hard to avoid reminders of the trauma. This may include:
Changes in Mood and ThinkingTrauma can significantly impact how people view themselves, others, and the world around them. Some examples include:
Increased Arousal and ReactivityMany people with PTSD feel as though they are constantly on high alert. This may look like:
The Impact of PTSDLiving with PTSD can be exhausting. Individuals may feel trapped between wanting to move forward and feeling pulled back into painful memories. Relationships, work, school performance, and overall well-being can all be affected. Because symptoms are often invisible, others may not realize the daily challenges someone with PTSD is facing. This is one reason why awareness and education are so important. Healing is PossibleOne of the most important things to understand about PTSD is that recovery is possible. While healing may not mean forgetting what happened, it can mean learning how to process traumatic experiences in a way that reduces their impact on daily life. Therapy can help individuals:
Approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), mindfulness-based interventions, and other trauma-informed therapies have helped many people find relief and move toward healing.  Moving Forward with CompassionPTSD is not defined by a single event. It is about the lasting impact that trauma can have on the mind and body. During PTSD Awareness Month, we are reminded of the importance of education, empathy, and support.
If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma, know that help is available. Healing is not about erasing the past. It is about learning to carry your experiences in a way that allows you to reconnect with your life, your relationships, and your sense of hope for the future. 💜 by Sarah Mohan, MS, CRC, MHC-LP, CVE, WIP-C Bipolar Disorder: More than Just "Mood Swings"A Beginner's Guide to One of Psychology's Most Misunderstood ConditionsIf the internet has taught us anything, it's that every emotional experience now comes with a diagnosis. Had a bad day? Depression. Got distracted during a meeting? ADHD. Changed your mind about dinner plans? Apparently that's bipolar disorder. Not quite. Few mental health conditions are misunderstood as frequently—or as dramatically—as bipolar disorder. Somewhere along the way, "having mood swings" became shorthand for being bipolar, which is about as accurate as saying a paper cut and open-heart surgery are basically the same thing because both involve skin. Let's clear things up. So, What Is Bipolar Disorder?Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition characterized by significant shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and thinking. The key word here is significant. We're not talking about being happy in the morning and cranky by lunch because someone stole your yogurt from the office fridge. We're talking about episodes that can last days, weeks, or even months and can dramatically affect a person's daily life. Generally, bipolar disorder involves periods of: Mania or HypomaniaThink of the brain hitting the gas pedal. A person may experience:
Who wouldn't want endless energy and confidence? The catch is that mania can become overwhelming and sometimes dangerous. People may take financial risks, make impulsive decisions, or engage in behaviors they wouldn't normally consider. The brain isn't simply operating at peak performance. It's operating at full volume with the knob broken off. DepressionNow imagine the opposite. The brain slams on the brakes. Symptoms may include:
This isn't simply "feeling down." It's a depressive episode that can significantly impact work, relationships, and overall functioning.  What Bipolar Disorder is NotLet's bust a few myths. Myth #1: Bipolar Means Constantly Changing EmotionsNope. People with bipolar disorder don't typically switch between happiness and sadness every fifteen minutes like a malfunctioning Spotify playlist. Episodes usually last much longer than that. Myth #2: Bipolar Disorder Means Someone is Unpredictable All the TimeNot true. Many people with bipolar disorder spend long periods feeling stable, especially when receiving effective treatment and support. Myth #3: Mania is Just Being Extra HappyAlso no. Mania isn't simply happiness with bonus features. It can involve impaired judgment, irritability, agitation, and behaviors that create serious consequences. Different Types of Bipolar DisorderPsychology loves categories almost as much as coffee loves Mondays. The main types include: Bipolar I DisorderInvolves at least one manic episode. Depressive episodes often occur as well. Bipolar II DisorderInvolves hypomania (a less severe form of mania) and major depressive episodes. People sometimes assume Bipolar II is a "milder" condition, but the depressive episodes can still be deeply challenging. Cyclothymic DisorderInvolves recurring mood fluctuations that don't fully meet criteria for major manic or depressive episodes but still affect daily life. Think of it as a different pattern rather than a lesser experience. Why the term "Bipolar Disorder" Gets MisusedThe phrase "I'm so bipolar" has become casual slang for everything from changing outfits three times before leaving the house to wanting tacos and pizza simultaneously. The problem? It reduces a complex mental health condition to ordinary indecision. Changing your favorite song three times this week isn't bipolar disorder. That's just being human. Possibly indecisive. Possibly exposed to too much good music. Bipolar Disorder - The Good NewsBipolar disorder is treatable. Many people live full, successful, creative, meaningful lives while managing the condition. Treatment may include medication, therapy, lifestyle adjustments, support systems, and learning to recognize early warning signs of mood episodes. In fact, many accomplished artists, leaders, entrepreneurs, and professionals have openly discussed living with bipolar disorder. A diagnosis is not a prediction of what someone can or cannot achieve.  Bipolar Disorder - Final ThoughtsThe next time someone uses "bipolar" to describe changing their mind about brunch, remember: Bipolar disorder isn't simply having emotions. It's not moodiness. It's not indecisiveness. It's a real mental health condition involving significant shifts in mood, energy, and functioning. The more accurately we understand it, the easier it becomes to replace stereotypes with empathy—and confusion with actual knowledge. And honestly, the world already has enough confusion. Especially when it comes to brunch plans. Sarah Mohan, MS, CRC, MHC-LP, CVE, WIP-C is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. Having several years experience working in the field of mental health, she specializes in working with clients who are diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Clearly distinguishing between the common term "bipolar" used in mainstream society from the diagnosis, she works with clients to better understand their moods, treat themselves with compassion, and find peace and balance in their lives.
*Be on the lookout for more Blogs from Sarah about Bipolar Disorder - next up will be one focused on treatment modalities! by Fallon Panetta, MS, MHC-LP Inner Critic vs. Self Compassion: Changing the Way You Talk to YourselfHave you ever noticed how quickly you're willing to offer kindness to a friend, but how harshly you speak to yourself? A friend makes a mistake and you reassure them that everyone slips up sometimes. You remind them that one setback does not define them. Yet when you make a mistake, the message often sounds very different: "I should have known better." "Why can't I get it together?" "I'm not good enough." This difference highlights the battle many people face between their inner critic and self compassion. While the inner critic may seem like a source of motivation, it often creates more stress, anxiety, and self doubt than growth. Learning to respond with self compassion can transform the way we navigate challenges and improve our overall mental well being. What is the Inner Critic?The inner critic is the voice inside your mind that judges, blames, and criticizes you. It often develops over time through life experiences, expectations, comparisons, and messages we receive from others. For some people, the inner critic sounds like a demanding perfectionist. For others, it sounds more like a constant stream of self doubt. Common inner critic thoughts include: • "I'm not doing enough." • "I always mess things up." • "Everyone else has it figured out." • "I should be better than this." • "If I fail, people will think less of me." Although the inner critic may believe it is helping you avoid mistakes or stay motivated, it often creates feelings of shame, anxiety, and discouragement instead. The Cost of Constant Self CriticismMany people believe being hard on themselves will help them achieve more. They worry that self compassion means lowering standards or making excuses. In reality, research suggests the opposite. When we constantly criticize ourselves, we tend to: • Experience more anxiety and stress • Develop lower self esteem • Become trapped in perfectionism • Fear failure and rejection • Feel emotionally exhausted • Avoid challenges due to fear of making mistakes Rather than encouraging growth, self criticism often keeps us stuck. Imagine trying to learn a new skill while someone stands next to you pointing out every mistake. Most people would feel discouraged, frustrated, and overwhelmed. Yet many of us do this to ourselves every day.  What is Self Compassion?Self compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and patience that you would offer someone you care about. It does not mean ignoring mistakes or avoiding responsibility. Instead, self compassion allows you to acknowledge your struggles without attacking yourself. A self compassionate response might sound like: • "This is difficult right now." • "Everyone makes mistakes." • "I can learn from this experience." • "I'm doing the best I can with what I know." • "I deserve kindness, even when I am struggling." Self compassion recognizes that being human means being imperfect. Why Self Compassion WorksWhen we respond to ourselves with compassion, we create an environment where growth becomes possible. Self compassion helps us: • Recover more quickly from setbacks • Build emotional resilience • Reduce feelings of shame • Increase self confidence • Manage stress more effectively • Improve overall mental well being Instead of becoming overwhelmed by mistakes, we can approach them with curiosity and a willingness to learn. Think about the people who have encouraged you most throughout your life. Chances are they motivated you through support, not criticism. The same principle applies to the relationship you have with yourself.  How to Practice Self CompassionThe next time you notice your inner critic, try these simple steps: Self Compassion Step 1: Pause and NoticePay attention to the thought without immediately accepting it as truth. Self Compassion Step 2: Ask Yourself a QuestionWould I say this to someone I love? If the answer is no, consider how you would respond to a friend in the same situation. Self Compassion Step 3: Reframe the ThoughtReplace harsh criticism with a more balanced statement. Instead of: "I'm a failure." Try: "I made a mistake, and I can learn from it." Self Compassion Step 4: Offer Yourself GraceRemember that everyone struggles, experiences setbacks, and has moments of self doubt. Inner Critic vs. Self Compassion: Final ThoughtsYour inner critic may be loud, but it does not have to be the voice that guides your life.
Self compassion is not about lowering expectations or avoiding accountability. It is about recognizing that growth happens best when we are supported rather than shamed. The next time your inner critic shows up, pause and offer yourself the same kindness you would give to someone you care about. Over time, that small shift can change not only how you feel about yourself, but how you move through life's challenges with greater confidence, resilience, and self acceptance. by Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP, CSTFP The Growing Use of AI for Mental Health Support in Children & AdolescentsAs a mental health clinician who works with adolescents, young adults, and parents, I’m seeing AI become more and more embedded in the emotional lives of young people. It’s becoming really common for clients to say things like, “I asked ChatGPT and it said…” when talking about relationships, trauma, self-worth, anxiety, eating issues, or even suicidal thoughts. I’m also hearing from parents who are discovering that their child used AI-generated information in the context of self-harm or suicidal behavior. And honestly, it takes a lot in me not to panic when I hear that. Not because technology is inherently bad, but because we’re in a place where kids are turning to systems that sound emotionally intelligent without actually having clinical judgment, ethical responsibility, or real human understanding behind them. Why do Children & Adolescents Use AI?Young people are often using AI because it feels:
For many adolescents, AI becomes the first place they open up about hopelessness, loneliness, self-harm urges, or suicidal thoughts. And that should absolutely concern us. Because developmentally, kids and teens are still figuring out how to regulate emotions, tolerate distress, understand relationships, and make sense of themselves. They’re also much more vulnerable to suggestion, emotional reinforcement, and impulsive thinking than adults are. What is the Risk of Children & Adolescents Using AI?The problem is that AI can sound incredibly confident, empathic, and emotionally “right,” even when what it’s saying is incomplete, inaccurate, or unsafe. As clinicians, we’re constantly tracking risk, emotional regulation, developmental stage, relational patterns, suicidality, self-harm, and subtle shifts in someone’s presentation. We’re trained to pick up on what’s being said—but also what’s not being said. AI can’t do that. It can’t truly assess suicide risk. It can’t understand developmental nuance. It can’t provide therapeutic containment. It can’t step in during a crisis, loop in parents when needed, or recognize when someone is in immediate danger—even if it sounds emotionally attuned. But what’s even more concerning is that AI hasn’t even gotten close to being right. There have been growing concerns and reports of systems responding in ways that are not just unhelpful, but actively harmful—at times providing information related to self-harm or suicide, reinforcing hopeless thinking, or responding in ways that escalate distress instead of de-escalating it. And in some tragic cases, children and adolescents have died by suicide following concerning interactions involving AI. That reality is devastating, and it should deeply concern all of us.  This is no longer theoretical. There are already lawsuits and increasing public scrutiny around cases where AI interactions were reportedly involved prior to a young person’s death by suicide. In response, lawmakers and advocacy groups are beginning to push for stronger regulation, safety protections for minors, and clearer accountability standards. The fact that this is now entering legal and policy spaces shows just how serious this has become. This isn’t about rejecting technology altogether. AI absolutely has useful roles in education, organization, accessibility, and even mental health awareness. But there’s a very real difference between using AI as a tool and relying on it for emotional support or crisis care—especially for vulnerable kids and teens. As AI becomes more present in everyday life, these conversations are only going to become more urgent. We need clearer ethical guidelines, stronger safeguards for minors, more parental awareness, and honest conversations about what AI should—and should not—be doing in the mental health space. What Can we Do about AI?This isn’t something that can be addressed with one solution, but there are several important steps we can take. What Parents Can do for their ChildrenFor parents and caregivers, it starts with awareness. Noticing whether AI is being used for emotional support, checking in without judgment, and keeping communication open matters. The goal is not to shame or shut it down, but to understand what need the child is trying to meet through it—because usually, it’s connection, reassurance, or relief from distress. It’s also important to normalize mental health support and, when needed, actively encourage it—whether that’s therapy, school counseling, or other trusted adult support—so that reaching out to a real person feels safe and accessible rather than stigmatized. What Clinicians Can do for their ClientsFor clinicians, it means explicitly asking about AI use in sessions. Just like we ask about social media, substance use, or coping strategies, AI is now part of that landscape. We also need to help young people differentiate between emotionally validating language and actual clinical support, especially when risk is involved. What Schools Can do for their StudentsFor schools and systems, there is a need for education and prevention—helping students understand the limitations of AI, what safe support looks like, and where to go when they are in distress. Many young people are not being taught how to critically evaluate emotionally sensitive information from digital tools.  What We Can All doAnd on a broader level, we contribute by not staying silent. That can look like supporting safety-focused legislation for minors by staying informed about proposed bills, signing petitions from reputable child safety or mental health advocacy organizations, and contacting local or state representatives to express concern about AI use in high-risk mental health situations involving youth. It also includes pushing for transparency from tech companies and raising awareness in our communities so parents, educators, and clinicians understand what is actually happening in these spaces. Most importantly, we have to keep reinforcing one message to young people: AI is not a substitute for human connection in moments of emotional pain. Because when someone is struggling, what they need most is not just information—they need to be held, understood, and responded to by another human being who can truly recognize the weight of what they’re carrying. At the end of the day, children and adolescents don’t just need responses that sound supportive. They need real human care. Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP, CSTFP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling, providing in person and online therapy to adolescents, teens, and adults. With an awareness of the impact that AI can have on mental health, she works with clients to understand and navigate new technology in healthy ways.
by Fallon Panetta, MHC-LP The "What If" Cycle: How Anxiety Pulls Us Into Overthinking“What if I fail?” “What if something bad happens?” “What if they’re upset with me?” “What if I embarrass myself?” “What if I can’t handle it?” For many people struggling with anxiety, these thoughts are not occasional worries. They can become a constant mental loop that feels exhausting and difficult to escape. This pattern is often referred to as the “what if” cycle, and it is one of the most common ways anxiety shows up in everyday life. What is the "What If" Cycle?The “what if” cycle happens when the mind continuously jumps ahead into future possibilities, usually focusing on worst-case scenarios. Anxiety convinces us that if we think through every possible outcome, we will somehow feel more prepared or more in control. The problem is that anxiety rarely feels satisfied. Instead of calming down, the brain often creates more questions: “What if that doesn’t work?” “What if something even worse happens?” “What if I make the wrong decision?” Before long, a person may find themselves mentally replaying situations, overanalyzing conversations, seeking reassurance, avoiding certain experiences, or feeling physically tense and overwhelmed. Why Anxiety Creates This PatternAt its core, anxiety is often connected to uncertainty. The brain is designed to protect us, so when something feels uncertain or uncomfortable, it searches for possible threats. The mind believes it is helping by preparing for every possibility, but this constant scanning can leave people stuck in survival mode. Even when there is no immediate danger, the body may still respond as though there is. This can lead to symptoms such as: • racing thoughts • difficulty concentrating • tightness in the chest • trouble sleeping • irritability • restlessness • muscle tension • feeling emotionally drained Over time, the “what if” cycle can make people doubt themselves and feel disconnected from the present moment because their attention is constantly focused on future fears. The Difference Between Productive Thinking and AnxietyThere is a difference between healthy problem-solving and anxious overthinking. Productive thinking helps you take action: “I’m nervous about the presentation, so I’ll prepare tonight.” Anxiety-based thinking keeps you stuck: “What if I mess up? What if everyone judges me? What if I freeze?” One leads to solutions. The other leads to spiraling. Anxiety often tricks people into believing they must solve every possible outcome before they can relax. In reality, trying to gain complete certainty usually increases anxiety rather than decreases it.  How to Break the CycleBreaking the “what if” cycle does not mean forcing yourself to stop thinking completely. Instead, it involves learning how to respond differently to anxious thoughts. A few helpful strategies include: 1. Notice the Thought Without Attaching to ItInstead of immediately believing the thought, try noticing it with curiosity. For example: “I’m having the thought that something bad will happen.” This small shift creates distance between you and the anxiety. 2. Ask Yourself: Is This a Fact or a Fear?Anxiety often speaks in possibilities, not facts. Just because your mind imagines something does not mean it will happen. Checking the evidence can help ground you back in reality. 3. Bring Yourself Back to the Present MomentAnxiety pulls attention into the future. Grounding techniques help bring it back to the here and now. This might include: • taking slow breaths • noticing your surroundings • focusing on physical sensations • naming things you can see or hear • stepping away from overstimulation The goal is not perfection. The goal is regulation. 4. Focus on What You Can ControlYou cannot control every outcome, reaction, or situation. You can control how you care for yourself, how you respond, and what choices you make in the present moment. Trying to control everything often fuels anxiety. Learning to tolerate uncertainty helps reduce it. 5. Challenge the Need for CertaintyMany anxious thoughts begin with the belief: “I need to know exactly what will happen.” But life does not work that way. Part of healing involves building confidence in your ability to cope, even when things feel uncertain. Final ThoughtsThe “what if” cycle can feel incredibly convincing, especially when anxiety is loud. But thoughts are not predictions, and fears are not facts.
You do not have to solve every possible future scenario to feel okay. Sometimes healing begins by slowing down, grounding yourself in the present moment, and reminding yourself: “I can handle things as they come.” With support, awareness, and practice, it is possible to step out of the cycle of overthinking and respond to anxiety with more balance, self-compassion, and confidence. by Brenna Tighe, MSEd, LMHC, CRC Mindfulness: What is it and How do I do it?Mindfulness has become somewhat of a buzzword over the last few years. We’ve heard of it being a cure-all for stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, but what exactly is mindfulness? What is Mindfulness?Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment. When you’re practicing mindfulness, you are observing your thoughts and feelings without judgement. In a world that is growing more complicated and fast-paced by the day, many of us are feeling a need to slow down and connect deeper with our Self. Mindfulness can benefit us in a plethora of ways. If you’re looking to reduce stress, mindfulness helps improve emotional regulation, which leads to a better mood & better ability to handle stress (Remmers, Topolinski, & Koole, 2016). It’s not only beneficial in reducing your current stress levels, but incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine is a great tool for effectively managing stress permanently. How do I practice Mindfulness?I know when I first heard about mindfulness a few years ago, I ignorantly thought it was sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat for hours, but there are so many different ways to practice mindfulness! I was unaware that there were a plethora of ways to incorporate mindfulness into my life in a way that felt simple and easy for me. Below are a few of my favorite ways to practice mindfulness on a daily basis… Mindful BreathClose your eyes and focus on your breath. Notice where you feel it, it might be the air going in and out at your nostrils, or the rise and fall of your chest/stomach. You can do this for as little as 30 seconds or as long as you want. Mindful ShowerA daily shower is the perfect time to practice a mindfulness meditation exercise. As you step into the shower, notice how the water feels as it hits each part of your body. Notice which part of your body you wash first and switch it up. Habits like showering usually put us on autopilot, we go through the motions without thinking about it. Mindful Five Senses ExerciseThis is a grounding technique that uses all five sense to root down and feel entirely centered in your body. By engaging in this activity, our brain refocuses from ruminating thoughts to focusing on the present moment. a. FEEL: name 5 things you can feel in or on your body b. HEAR: name 4 things you can hear c. SEE: name 3 things you can see d. SMELL: name 2 things you can smell e. TASTE: name one thing you can taste  Phone Apps for MindfulnessThere are also great apps you can download on your phone for guided mindful meditations. Guided meditations can be helpful for people who don’t know where or how to start. Having an expert lead you through the basic steps of your meditation practice can teach us how to do it ourselves down the line. Three of the most recommended apps for guided mindful meditations are…
RESOURCES: Remmers, C., Topolinski, S., & Koole, S. L. (2016). Why being mindful may have more benefits than you realize: Mindfulness improves both explicit and implicit mood regulation. Mindfulness 7, 829-827. https://www.calm.com/blog/about https://www.headspace.com/meditation/guided-meditation https://mobile.va.gov/app/mindfulness-coach Brenna Tighe, MSEd, LMHC, CRC is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling, providing individual mental health counseling services to clients in person at our Massapequa Park office and online via telehealth to clients located across the state of New York. Well-versed in mindfulness, Brenna bring mindfulness skills to her clients to help in decreasing symptoms of anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and depression. She is a firm believer in practicing what she preaches, and incorporates mindfulness into her daily life.
|
Categories
|
RSS Feed
Healing & Growth Counseling
4770 Sunrise Highway, Suite 102
Massapequa Park, NY 11762
(516) 406-8991
4770 Sunrise Highway, Suite 102
Massapequa Park, NY 11762
(516) 406-8991