Understanding PMDD: A Guide for Therapy Clients

4/17/2025

Understanding PMDD: A Guide for Therapy Clients

by Candyce Young, MSEd, MHC-LP

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) that affects a significant number of women. Oftentimes causing serious emotional, psychological, and physical symptoms. While PMS can bring irritability and discomfort, PMDD is much more intense, making it difficult for those affected to function in their daily lives.

What is PMDD?

According to the University of Oxford 31 million women around the world experience PMDD. Due to PMDD being a fairly new diagnosis it is estimated that the percentage of women living with PMDD is much higher (University of Oxford, 2024).
PMDD is a mood disorder that typically occurs 7 to 10 days before menstruation starts. The symptoms of PMDD are far more debilitating than PMS and often interfere with work, relationships, and overall quality of life. It’s not just "bad period cramps"—PMDD can bring a combination of emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms that make it challenging to cope with alone.

Woman in red dress sitting with head on hand looking down and sad. PMDD can be difficult to navigate. Reach out to schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY today!

What are the Symptoms of PMDD?

PMDD symptoms can vary from person to person, but some common signs can be broken down into 5 categories: Mood swings, Depression, Physical symptoms, Cognitive issues, and Changes in behavior. Let's explore each of these categories in more detail:

Severe mood swings

People with PMDD may experience intense irritability, sadness, or anger. These mood changes often feel out of control and may include feelings of hopelessness or extreme anxiety. These mood swings can interfere with important relationships and daily activities.

Depression

Feelings of despair, worthlessness, and low energy are prevalent, with some people experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide during their worst episodes. Unfortunately, as PMDD has often been overlooked as a mental health concern, those experiencing depression symptoms may not feel validated and understood by loved ones.

Physical Symptoms

These can include fatigue, insomnia, joint or muscle pain, headaches, and bloating. These symptoms can range from mild to severe, and can lead to the need to take time off of work or keep someone from hobbies, self care, or caring for others.

Cognitive Issues

Concentration and memory problems, also known as “brain fog,” are common and can make daily tasks feel overwhelming. This can interfere with remembering things that need to get done, fulfilling a role at work, or caring for self/others.

Changes in behavior

Overeating, irritability with family members, or withdrawing socially are also common signs of PMDD.

Woman sitting on toilet with head in hand looking down. PMDD can include symptoms such as depression, mood swings, and physical symptoms. Call to schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY today.

What Causes PMDD?

The exact cause of PMDD is still not entirely understood, but it is believed to be linked to hormonal fluctuations that occur during the menstrual cycle. In particular, the hormonal changes related to estrogen and progesterone may affect neurotransmitters in the brain, such as serotonin, which plays a role in mood regulation. Genetics, environmental stressors, and a history of trauma can also contribute to the severity of PMDD.

Can Therapy Help People Experiencing PMDD?

Living with PMDD can be incredibly challenging, but there are ways therapy can help manage symptoms. Here are a few strategies that may be beneficial:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is one of the most effective types of therapy for managing mood disorders like PMDD. It focuses on identifying negative thought patterns and replacing them with healthier, more balanced thinking. This can help clients develop coping strategies for handling the emotional rollercoaster of PMDD.

Mindfulness & Relaxation Techniques

Stress exacerbates the symptoms of PMDD, and mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help reduce anxiety and enhance emotional well-being.

Lifestyle Adjustments

Therapy can also guide clients through practical lifestyle changes that may alleviate symptoms. This can include diet adjustments, regular physical activity, and establishing a consistent sleep schedule—all of which are shown to improve overall mood and health.

Support Systems

Sometimes, just having a space to talk about the emotional strain of PMDD can be incredibly healing. Support groups and family therapy can help individuals feel understood and supported during their most challenging moments.

Three woman leaning on one another smiling. A support system can help you to find peace and happiness with PMDD. Call to schedule an appointment for online therapy in New York today!

When Should I Seek Help for PMDD?

If you’re experiencing symptoms of PMDD that are interfering with your ability to function, it’s important to talk to a therapist or healthcare provider. You don't have to struggle through these intense feelings alone.
Understanding PMDD and how it uniquely affects you is the first step toward better managing its impact. Therapy provides a supportive space to address not only the emotional challenges of PMDD but also the underlying thoughts, behaviors, and coping strategies that can make all the difference.

If you think PMDD might be affecting your life, don't hesitate to reach out for help. I am here to offer you a safe environment to explore your symptoms and create a plan that works for you.

Woman standing smiling with one hand in air. Therapy can help to decrease and manage symptoms of PMDD. Reach out to schedule an appointment for online therapy in New York today!

University of Oxford. (2024, January 30). New data shows prevalence of Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2024-01-30-new-data-shows-prevalence-premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder.

About the Author

Candyce Young, MSEd, MHC-LP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. As a female clinician she understands the difficulty women face when trying to express what we feel and why. As Candyce works with her clients, she assists them in identifying their feelings, processing them, and gaining confidence in using coping skills to minimize negative self talk and increase self awareness.

Interested in learning more about Candyce? Check out her bio here.

Interested in scheduling an appointment? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.

Can Gardening Help your Mental Health?

3/25/2025

Can Gardening Help your Mental Health?

by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS

Now that spring is in full swing, gardening may be A) something you are looking forward to, B) something you are dreading but have to do, or C) something that you avoid at all costs. Whether gardening is a hobby or a task, it can be used as a tool to improve your mood and mental health. Research shows that engaging in gardening can decrease stress and anxiety levels significantly. It has also been seen to show a positive impact on decreasing depression. In this blog article we will explore the potential benefits of gardening on your mental health.

Mindfulness

One way that gardening can be helpful to our mental heath is by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is the art of being fully in the present moment. The best way to do this is to focus on your 5 senses - sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. There are a few ways that one can engage in mindfulness while gardening. By focusing on sight, you can notice the colors of the plant and flowers, the shapes of the petals and leaves, and the life (yes, bugs and worms!) in the soil. Focusing on smell will allow you to enjoy the sweet aroma of the flowers. If you are gardening outside, you can listen to the sounds of life outside, including birds, bugs, or other animals nearby. Taste can be practiced when you have edible options in your garden, such as fruits, vegetables, or edible flowers. Touch allows you to focus on the textures of the soil, roots, and plants. Some may choose to ditch the gardening gloves to more thoroughly appreciate the sense of touch.

Hands in dirt gardening. Improve your mental health with gardening and with online therapy in New York today!

Building a Sense of Mastery

Gardening on a regular basis can also build a sense of mastery, by learning and following through with a plan of caring for your plants. Enjoying the outcome of your hard work and dedication promotes a feeling of accomplishment, which can also improve mood. Should you be growing fruits or vegetables, you can bring the fruit and vegetables that you grow into the kitchen and continue building a sense of mastery by preparing and cooking them. If growing flowers, you can cut and create a bouquet to give as a gift or enjoy as a centerpiece on your table. Flower arrangement can become another area to build a sense of mastery.

Water pouring from watering can onto plants outside. Improve your mental health with gardening and with online therapy in New York! Call Healing & Growth Counseling to schedule an appointment today.

Changing Brain Chemistry

Gardening can also have a positive impact on hormones and the neurotransmitters in your brain. Research shows that engaging in direct contact with dirt when gardening can increase the release of serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a natural anti-depressant. Harvesting from the garden can increase the release of dopamine by seeing, smelling, and picking the fruit. Dopamine is released into the reward center of the brain, which brings about a feeling of happiness and mild euphoria. This release can also help to build an increased desire and motivation to continue gardening. So, if you think of how it may be difficult to start this process and stay motivated, know that once you harvest your first fruit or cut your first bunch of flowers, you will likely feel more natural motivation to continue!

About the Author

Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS, is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. Cindy enjoys working with clients to implement self-care practices that enhance the work that they are doing in therapy. Gardening is an activity that many of her clients have incorporated into their daily lives, and it is a hobby that Cindy herself enjoys in her time outside of work. She is especially excited to see her peonies bloom this year!

Interested in scheduling an appointment with our practice? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.

What is the Butterfly Hug Method?

2/11/2025

What is the Butterfly Hug Method?

by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS

What is a butterfly hug and how can it help? You may have heard the butterfly hug mentioned by a therapist or by a friend or family member who has done EMDR therapy. It is an easy and effective tool for managing stress and anxiety. In this blog article we will explore how to do the butterfly hug and how it works as a powerful tool in promoting mental and emotional health.

How to do the Butterfly Hug

To do a Butterfly Hug, first cross your arms over your chest, placing your fingertips gently on your collarbone or upper arms. It is similar to giving yourself a hug, and the criss-cross of your arms creates the look of a butterfly (look in a mirror the first time you do this if you think it would be helpful to see the visual).
Tap your fingers gently on your collarbone or upper arms, alternating between left and right, at a relaxed rhythm (you are not being tested on keeping a beat, so there is no need to be exact!). Focus on slow and deep breaths while you tap. If your attention begins to wander, bring your awareness back to your breath and the feeling of your hands gently tapping.
That's it!

Woman sitting with arms crossed and hands on shoulders. The Butterfly Hug can be a great way to self-soothe. Call us to schedule an appointment for online therapy in New York today!

Why does the Butterfly Hug work?

How is it that such a simple exercise can be so impactful? Let's explore some of the ways in which it works.

Impact on the Nervous System

The Butterfly Hug has a calming impact on the nervous system. As you practice this tool, you may notice an increased feeling of calmness and slowing of racing thoughts and feeling of overwhelm. The parasympathetic nervous system is activated by engaging in the Butterfly Hug, which is the part of the autonomic system that is responsible for promoting relaxation. Nicknamed the "rest and digest" system, it is the system that helps the body to recover from stress and danger. It impacts many bodily systems that you don't often actively think about, such as heart rate, blood pressure, urination, digestion, and sweating, amongst others. We often see these things impacted negatively by stress and anxiety, so by specifically engaging the parasympathetic nervous system we are able to regulate these aspects to either prevent or treat stress and anxiety in our daily lives.

Self-Soothing

The Butterfly Hug helps to self-soothe and ground oneself. This helps with emotional regulation and managing intense feelings. This comes from the way in which the Butterfly Hug brings you back to the present moment. By tapping on your upper arms or collarbones and focusing on this as well as your breath, you are using your senses to bring your attention to the present moment.
Many unwanted mental health symptoms, such as increased worry about the future or feeling like our head is stuck in the past, can be alleviated in the moment by bringing our attention to the present moment. The act of doing this helps to slow racing thoughts and increase our connection the the world around us or our connection with ourself.

Woman standing calmly outside with eyes closed and hand on chest. Use the Butterfly Hug to ground yourself and decrease anxiety. Call us to schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY to decrease anxiety.

When is it Helpful to Use the Butterfly Hug?

The Butterly Hug is great as a standalone tool that is very portable. Consider this - you always have your arms and your breath with you, right? No fancy apps or additional items to carry. It is a great coping skill that can be used when you are feeling stressed, panicked, or anxious. It can be used as a tool when you feel like you are struggling, or one that you implement every so often throughout your day to prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed. By trying it out in different situations, you can find out when the tool is most effective.
The Butterfly Hug is also used as a tool during EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) therapy, as a form of bilateral stimulation. Incorporating this into EMDR therapy assists with keeping a person grounded and present while healing from their past trauma. It also assists with the brain emotionally processing the trauma that is being worked on. (For more information about EMDR, see past blog posts including What is EMDR and How Does it Work? and How to get the Most out of EMDR Therapy.

Butterfly with blue wings. The Butterfly Hug is an effective way to ground yourself and self-soothe. Call us to schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY today to decrease anxiety and live a life more fully in the present moment!

I hope that this blog post provides you with a tool that you can take with you into your life to decrease feelings of stress and anxiety. Of course, it is not a replacement for therapy, so if you find that this tool is not sufficient to keep you grounded and present in your life (amongst other tools you may already have), seek the help of a therapist or mental health clinician that can help.

About the Author

Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. As an EMDR Certified Therapist and EMDRIA Approved Consultant, Cindy primarily focuses on EMDR in her practice with clients. She teaches the Butterfly Hug to almost all clients that she works with as a tool for grounding, self-soothing, and for emotional regulation. For EMDR clients it is a tool that is taught as preparation for EMDR work and often used for bilateral stimulation during EMDR reprocessing. She loves the Butterfly Hug as a tool that can be taken anywhere and utilized to help decrease stress and anxiety, both inside and outside of the therapy room.

Interested in learning more about Cindy and her work? Check out her bio here.

Interested in scheduling an appointment with one of Healing & Growth Counseling's clinicians, to learn tools such as the Butterfly Hug and to learn how to decrease stress and anxiety in your life? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.

How Can Cognitive Reframing Help Me?

1/29/2025

How Can Cognitive Reframing Help Me?

by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS

Cognitive reframing is a tool that is often used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help people identify and challenge irrational or negative thoughts, in an effort to replace them with more rational and balanced thoughts. Take a moment and think of some of the irrational or negative thoughts that pop into your head throughout your day. Here are some examples of negative thoughts that could benefit from cognitive reframing:

"I'm a failure."
"I'm not good enough."
"I'm going to be alone forever."
"I'm unlovable."
"I can't get through this..."

How does Cognitive Reframing Work?

How is it that a technique like cognitive reframing can positively influence thoughts and feelings, even behaviors? It almost sounds too good to be true, which often leaves people wondering if it could possibly be helpful. Let's explore some of the ways in which cognitive reframing works:

It encourages you to pause

The first benefit of cognitive reframing comes from entering a pause into your thought process. Typically, the maladaptive thoughts that we have that interfere with our daily lives feel like they come rapid fire. By entering a figurative "Stop" sign or "Yield" sign, we slow the thought process to allow for corrective action. Just the act of slowing down for a moment can help to decrease anxiety and prevent further spiraling into negative thoughts about oneself.

It helps you to recognize the thought as irrational

Most of the maladaptive thoughts that we have that interfere with our daily functioning and mood are easily shown to not be based in fact, or are an exaggeration based on the evidence present.
For example, consider the above statement of "I can't get through this.". If you have survived 100% of the days that you have had so far (which is true if you are reading this blog post), then there is zero evidence that you can't get through your present dilemma. Using cognitive reframing helps you bring into your awareness the irrationality of the statement.
Another example from above stated "I am a failure". Perhaps this comes after doing poorly on an exam at school or after finding out that you weren't hired for a job that you interviewed for. While there is some evidence of failure present, it is not enough to substantiate a claim that identifies you as "a failure". There are, most likely, very many successes that you have experienced in your life, so to take one example to overlook all of that would be quite irrational as well.

It creates new neural pathways

Repetition with cognitive reframing is key. I wish I could promise that once you cognitively reframe a statement once, you will never think of the irrational statement again. However, with research building over the years supporting neuroplasticity, or the brain's natural ability to change and adapt throughout one's life, repeating cognitive reframes helps to form new neural pathways so that the new rational statement can prevail.
Have you ever learned something new, and as you did it more and more, it became easier, almost automatic? An example of this might be cooking a new recipe. At first it takes you a long time to make the dish, and you have to refer back to the recipe often to double- and triple-check that you are doing the right step. Eventually, you can make the dish while hardly referring to the recipe. Cognitive reframing works similarly. An irrational thought may come up repeatedly, and at first you may reframe it using a worksheet or referring to a blog post such as this one, however over time you may find yourself able to easily confront it and reframe it. Over the course of time, you may even find that the irrational thought no longer comes up for you at all, and you are able to speak more kindly and realistically to yourself!

Examples of cognitive reframing

Let's share some common examples of cognitive reframing to help you get the hang of it. Let's revisit the common examples listed at the top of this blog article:
1. Irrational thought: "I am a failure."
Reframe thought: "I didn't do well on this test. It is probably from not studying enough. I will start studying for my next test sooner, and hopefully this will help me to bring my grade up."

2. Irrational thought: "I'm not good enough."
Reframe thought: "That person is probably not recognizing my worth, and their 'stuff' might be contributing to that. I know inherently that I am a good enough person."

3. Irrational thought: "I'm going to be alone forever."
Reframe thought: "That loss was very painful for me. I have learned a lot from my experience that will help me know what I want to look for in a future partner or friend."

4. Irrational thought: "I'm unlovable."
Reframe thought: "Even though someone is communicating to me that they don't love me, there is no proof or reason to believe that there is something wrong with me because of that."

5. Irrational thought: "I can't get through this."
Reframe thought: "I have survived 100% of my days. It may not be easy or painless, however I know that I can get through this. Let me focus on 'when I get through this' instead."

How to start using cognitive reframing

Just do it! It starts with becoming more self-aware of the negative irrational thought that is coming up in a situation. I often encourage clients to start a note in their phone or take notes in a notebook/planner. Write in the first column the negative, irrational thought, and then in the second column practice reframing it. By doing this you will start to notice patterns in negative maladaptive thoughts that predominate and interfere with your life. Consider starting with maladaptive thoughts that are less challenging to reframe, and work your way up to the more difficult ones.
It can be helpful to team up with a friend. You can share with them and discuss the reframes you are working on with one another. A friend is often helpful in reframing, as our friends tend to speak more nicely to us than we do to ourselves!
A therapist can also be helpful in incorporating cognitive reframing into your daily life. A therapist can be particularly helpful if you are finding it difficult to reframe. Sometimes our maladaptive thoughts develop due to traumatic experiences which may require more trauma work before the ability to reframe it is possible. It is important to not become hard on yourself if cognitive reframing doesn't come naturally to you. There is most likely a reason that can be uncovered in therapy. Don't hesitate to reach out for help!

About the Author

Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. Cindy's initial training in mental health counseling focused a lot on cognitive behavioral therapy, and therefore she has used tools and interventions such as cognitive reframing a lot with clients over the years. Cindy loves teaching this skill to clients and then seeing the positive impact from practicing it on a daily basis. One of the most rewarding things as a therapist is seeing clients let go of maladaptive irrational thoughts that once held them back from their goals. Cindy has always found that leaps and bounds can be made towards goals once more positive and realistic thoughts are present.

Interested in scheduling an appointment to work on implementing more cognitive reframing into your life? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.

The Mental Health Benefits of Expressive Art

1/15/2025

The Mental Health Benefits of Expressive Art

by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS

Art event spaces have been growing and gaining popularity over the years. Many years ago plaster painting spaces began, where children would have birthday parties painting statues of unicorns and dinosaurs. Pottery studios opened, where adults would get their hands dirty molding vases and bowls to gift or use at home. Craft studios later became popular, where you can make your own “Welcome” sign to place outside of your front door. And, more recently, studios doing art forms such as spin-art and splatter paint have become popular.

After a recent event in which I did splatter paint with my Healing & Growth family, I began to reflect on the benefit of such artistic outlets. Why have these become popular? Why do we, as a staff, often jump at the opportunity to enjoy these activities? Here are some of my thoughts:

Mindfulness

Going to an art or craft studio allows you to be in the moment and engage in art expression one-mindfully. If you try to do art at home, it can be easy to get distracted by many things, such as the sound of the dryer reminding you that the clothes must be folded, a child interrupting that they want a snack, or the dog barking to be let outside. Going to a studio prevents these distractions from interfering with your artistic process. Even if scheduled for as little as 30 minutes, it gives you an opportunity to take a true break from the day to day routine and mindfully participate in art. Additionally, most art and craft studios encourage you to leave your phone in the car so that it doesn’t get damaged or dirty while you are crafting/painting/building. This has the bonus side effect of preventing further distractions of a text message, email, or phone call. (Note: I understand some people may need to be able to be contacted. It can be helpful to provide your loved one with the phone number of the studio you are going to, so that they can still reach out if there is an emergency.)

Practicing Nonjudgment

The practice of “letting go” and fully mindfully participating in free art expression also comes with the practice of being non-judgmental. For those who follow strict routines, allowing this period of art expression can be powerful to take a break from the structure. It can be easy to be critical of your art, trying to make sure you are doing it “right” or wanting it to look like it could be hung in an art gallery. Participating in these activities with friends can also be helpful in that they can provide positive evaluation and interrupt your critical thinking.

Clinician pouring paint on canvas. Artistic expression can promote healing and growth. Schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY today.

Sensory

These types of art expression often involve using many of your senses. Your sense of sight is involved in seeing the colors and structure of what you are working on. Your smell may be involved as you notice the scent of clay or paint. Hearing may be engaged as you listen to the sound of the tools you are using to create your project. And you are most likely engaging your hands very much in your creation. The recent splatter paint event allowed me to view the neon colors under the blacklights in the room. I was able to dip my hands in paint and paint not only with brushes, but my hands and squirt bottles. I could hear the voices and laughter of my colleagues as we painted.

Social Connection

Participating in free art expressions with others can be beneficial in that it is supportive and connecting. Engaging in conversation with each other, laughing, smiling, and making eye contact helps to release “happy chemicals” in the brain, such as oxytocin and dopamine. Some people may have difficulty letting go of rules and expectations when engaging in art alone, so having others doing so with you can be helpful and encouraging.

With all of these positive benefits, what's stopping you?! Enjoy being an artist ;-)

About the Author

Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. Cindy does not identify as an artist by any means, but enjoys joining with others in free art expression classes when possible to step out of her day-to-day routine and have some fun! She often suggests it to clients as a way to express themselves, connect with others socially, and release emotions. It is amazing to see what you can create when you let go and express yourself!

Why do I Feel Stuck in my Head?

12/29/2024

Why do I Feel Stuck in my Head?

by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS

Do you ever get that feeling like you can't get out of your head? You may notice that you struggle with connecting with your current environment, missing out on moments with friends and family. You may notice that you struggle with focusing on a task and completing it. You may notice that you feel like you "shut down" during normal daily activities. These are all different versions of getting stuck in you head. In this blog post, I hope to describe things that might attribute to this struggle and provide some tips for how to get unstuck.

Stress & Anxiety

Two of the main contributors to getting stuck in your head are stress and anxiety. Stress tends to increase as the number and intensity of stressors in our lives increase. You may notice yourself thinking of your "to-do" list often, trying to make sure that you don't forget to complete a task. This can keep you hyper-focused on task completion, keeping you from being present in your daily life. I often utilize the metaphor of a web browser to illustrate this phenomenon. When each stressor or task is a different tab open in a web browser, a person can feel like they have upwards of 5, 10, 50, or 100 tabs open at a time. Imagine how overwhelming it would be to see this on your computer screen!
Anxiety can also keep you stuck in your head. Anxiety is often described as excessive worry about the future. Someone who is worried about upcoming events may find themselves thinking about how the event will go and what will happen, often trying to map out every possible scenario so that they can cope ahead with it. Though coping ahead can be a valuable skill, when it takes up all of your headspace it can keep you from being present in your daily life.

Man sitting on computer outside with hand on head. High levels of stress can make you feel stuck in your head. Reach out to schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY today!

Overthinking

Sometimes we can get stuck in our heads when focusing on the past as well. Have you ever had something occur and then found yourself thinking about it repeatedly? You may find yourself rethinking your steps and actions taken in a certain event. This may be accompanied by a lot of self-criticism if you feel that you had made a mistake. It could be for something as simple as making an error in pronouncing a word during a public speaking experience, or calling someone by the wrong name accidentally. It is possible to feel trapped in thoughts about the event, even though there is no way to go back and change it.

Woman sitting with head in hands looking up. Getting stuck in your head can make you feel paralyzed and alone. Reach out to us to schedule an initial appointment for online therapy in NY today to get unstuck!

Past Trauma

Feeling stuck in your head can also be due to past trauma. When we experience something traumatic, it is jarring to our nervous system. Our brain is likely to struggle with being able to logically understand it. It is difficult to "digest" memories of a traumatic experience for this reason, leaving a person stuck trying to put together the pieces to better process it.
Flashbacks, or experiences where someone feels that they are reliving a traumatic event, are an example of being stuck in your head. It can be difficult to bring yourself out of your head during a flashback due to the emotional response that often surges with it.

How Can I Get Out of my Head?

Now that you hopefully have some reflection on what might be causing you to feel stuck in your head, let's discuss some tools and resources that might help you to get yourself out of your head!

Organize your Thoughs

When you are stuck in your head due to stress and anxiety, organization might be helpful. Using a planner or calendar (virtual or paper) can help you to keep track of upcoming events and due dates for tasks. Write down a grocery list or type it into a note in your phone so that you aren't trying to remember everything you need to buy. Write down recipes and keep them all in one place to refer back to. There are many apps that exist that are focused on organization as well, which can assist you with this goal.

Desk with coffee, weekly planner, glasses and phone neatly resting. Getting organized can help you to get out of your head. Call us to schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY today to help you get unstuck!

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves placing your focus on the present moment and noticing everything about it using your senses without judgment. This helps to bring you out of your head by focusing on the world around you. First, try mindfully observing something. For example, when you go for a walk, notice the sounds around you, the things you see, the feeling of your feet touching the ground, and the smells. Then try to mindfully participate in your activities. An example of this would be to let loose and dance around your house as you listen to your favorite music.
Starting to implement mindfulness into your life can be frustrating, as you might notice your mind wander back into you head at times. People often criticize themselves if this happens, feeling as if they are failing. Keep in mind that each time you notice your mind wandering and return to a state of mindfulness, it strengthens the new healthier pathways you are building in your brain!

Reprocess Your Trauma (Safely)

If you are stuck in your head due to a past traumatic experience, it may be necessary to reprocess that trauma memory in order to get unstuck and out of your head. Though this might seem like a scary process, there are ways to do so safely especially with the help of a mental health professional. Some mental health therapists have specialized training in helping clients to heal from past trauma and there are specific therapy modalities that were created to help with this process (EMDR, TF-CBT, CPT).

Practice Acceptance

Acceptance can help you to get out of your head by letting go of the things that we often overthink. If you find yourself ruminating over a past mistake that you made, having acceptance of it being something that happened in the past and that it cannot be changed can stop the repetitive thoughts. Try using some of these phrases:

"I can't change it, so I might as well accept it!"
"I might not like it, but I can accept it!"
"I am choosing to accept ________."

Engage your Body

A great way to get out of your head is to get into your body! By moving our body, it can help us to bring our focus to other things, such as the exercise we are doing, the feeling of a stretch of a muscle, or our breath. Quick and easy ways to engage your body can include doing a few jumping jacks, doing some simple yoga poses, or going for a quick walk/run. You may have to try a few to find the movement that works best for you.

I hope that this post is helpful to give some possible causes for feeling stuck in your head, as well as to give you some helpful ideas on how you can work towards getting unstuck. Although it can be a process, it is worth it to get out of your head and start connecting with and enjoying life!

Woman dancing in living room smiling. Get out of your head by getting into your body. Call us to schedule an initial appointment for online therapy in NY today to help you get unstuck and mindfully enjoy life!

About the Author

Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS is the owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. She has worked with many clients over the years that have felt stuck in their heads for one reason or another. Cindy enjoys teaching clients grounding skills that can help them to get out of their heads and connect with the world around them. She has seen so many clients be able to connect and enjoy life by decreasing anxiety, healing from past traumas, and letting go of the past. Cindy finds it helpful to use a planner to organize her schedule and to-do list. She also enjoys grounding herself by mindfully participating in activities like going for a walk or doing yoga.

Interested in learning more about Cindy? Read her bio here.

Interested in scheduling an appointment to help you get out of your head? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.

What is the Meaning of Healthy Communication?

12/16/2024

What is the Meaning of Healthy Communication?

by Heather DeGuire, MHC-LP

Communication is the imparting or exchange of information or news. There are different characteristics of communication. Some are: body language, tone of voice, eye contact, and boundary level. Take a moment and consider this: How do you express your emotions and ideas with others?

Man shouting into megaphone. Learning healthy communication skills can improve your mental health and relationships. Call to schedule an appointment for online therapy in New York today.

Communication shapes our experiences with others based on how we verbalize our
needs and emotions. Depending on how emotions are verbalized or boundaries are set can totally change the path of a conversation. This could result in a disagreement if another person misinterprets the information you are conveying because of the tone and deliverance of communication used. When you are communicating socially with others your tone and deliverance should match your intentions.

Interpersonal v. Intrapersonal Communication

Communication comes in different forms; you have external communication and internal communication. Internal communication is the form of communication used most often throughout the day. This form of communication is called intrapersonal communication; it is the internal dialogue in your mind that you use before you engage in social interaction with others. The intrapersonal communication is the self-talk that guides your interpersonal communication socially. Interpersonal communication is the exchange of information between one or more people. It is done typically by speaking, but can also be done in writing. We often engage in interpersonal communication with many people daily, including family, friends, co-workers, and strangers.

Two people smiling laying and petting dog. Using healthy communication skills can help strengthen relationships. Call to schedule an appointment to learn communication skills today!

How to Use Assertive Communication

Assertive communication skills allow you the ability to assertively express feelings and needs without being critical or judgmental of the other person. Assertive communication skills can help with regulating your emotions during social interactions with others. If the communication used towards others sounds critical or blaming it is more likely that the other person will respond with defensiveness. This results in the message being misinterpreted and the other person becoming argumentative, which is most likely not the response that you are hoping for.

I-Statements

An I-Statement is an assertive communication skill that provides the person with a simple way of speaking about their feelings and emotions without appearing critical or judgmental. First, be sure that your intrapersonal communication is neutral/positive before engaging (this will positively influence your use of communication skills with others). As you are expressing your thoughts and feelings with the other person, be sure to start your statements with the word "I". When we use "You" to start our statements, it can often be mis-interpreted as finger-pointing or blaming. Keeping it in the "I" makes sure that the speaker is the subject of the sentence. The other person is more likely to engage in a constructive conversation when I-Statements are used.

The reason for developing strong assertive communication skills is to help you regulate your emotions while navigating through difficult social interactions that are being influenced by a person’s internal (intrapersonal) communication. This assertive communication skill of I-statements allows you to describe your thoughts and feelings without blaming or being critical of the other person.

Developing assertive communication skills can be challenging. Take some time to reflect on your intrapersonal and interpersonal communication, and take small steps towards incorporating assertive communication skills in your day to day life. You can work towards this goal with a friend or family member, giving each other tips and encouragement along the way!

About the Author

Heather DeGuire, MA, MHC-LP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. Heather works with adolescents and adults, both individually and as couples, on assertive communication. Heather is a big believer in working on intrapersonal communication with clients, as she sees many client struggle with the way in which they speak to themselves, which then impacts their communication style with others. She regularly teaches assertive communication skills to clients and helps them to incorporate them into their daily lives.

Interested in learning more about Heather? Read her bio here.

Interested in scheduling an appointment with Heather? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.

Managing Anxiety During the Holidays

12/3/2024

Managing Anxiety During the Holidays

by Heather DeGuire, MS, MHC-LP

Anxiety symptoms are characterized by a feeling of overwhelming sense of worry and concern. The holidays sometimes trigger or amplify anxiety symptoms, especially for those without financial stability or those receiving pressure to attend social gatherings. The holidays could trigger an increase in frequency and duration of anxiety symptoms because of what the holiday means to the person. Some people are not affected by the holidays because they don’t have a negative experience attached to it, whereas some individuals find it hard to regulate their emotions or decrease their intrusive anxious thoughts triggered from the holidays because of their own traumatic experiences related to the holiday.

What Causes Anxiety During the Holidays?

There are many reasons that could result in someone feeling stressed during the holidays that increases a person’s anxiety symptoms. Some scenarios that affect people during the holidays could be someone who has lost a parent, a child that has passed away, a relative aging and unable to travel alone, or the loss of a friend/companion. The holidays can also be difficult for parents because of their expectations that the holiday should be perfect for their children. It is important to find a way of letting go of "perfect" and enjoying the moment with your family, because memories are not planned, they are created in the moment. Anxiety symptoms triggered from the holidays are sometimes intensified by a person’s lack of family, social support, or financial stability.

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How Can I Cope with Holiday Anxiety?

Coping with anxiety is unique to each person and looks different for everyone. Some ways to cope with anxiety symptoms triggered during the holidays could look like engaging in self-care or using cognitive reframing strategies. Read on for some ideas to utilize this holiday season:

How to use Socratic Questioning to decrease holiday anxiety

A form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that can help you to cope with anxiety symptoms is Socratic Questioning techniques. This skill helps to challenge the maladaptive thoughts triggered during the holidays and replaces them with rational thoughts. This skill can help you to change the way that you view a difficult situation that emerges during the holidays.
Here's an example: Someone who is really anxious about the holidays might be focused on thinking about there being so much to do and not being able to handle all of it. They can question themselves with "What would happen if everything isn't done perfectly?" to which they might respond with "People would get disappointed." Questionning can continue - "Do people care more about perfection or about having fun spending time together?" This can help this person to recognize that people are more interested in spending time together than everthing being perfect.

How to use self care to decrease holiday anxiety

Some self-care tips to help manage anxiety symptoms during the holidays could be to stay organized and commit to a plan, create your own holiday traditions, make space for feelings of grief when they arise, and keep stress levels at a minimal by delegating or taking space for yourself as needed. Another coping strategy to help manage anxiety symptoms during the holidays could look like journaling what makes you feel anxious. This will help identify and challenge insecurities directly.

Woman sitting and writing in journal wearing glasses. Writing in a journal can help to decrease anxiety and stress. Reach out today to schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY today.

How to use mindfulness to decrease holiday anxiety

Finding mindfulness activities during the holidays will help you stay focused in the present moment and connect with loved ones during the holidays. It is important during this stressful time to learn to treat yourself with love and kindness as you navigate through the difficulties that arise throughout the holidays. A simple mindfulness exercise can be to sit with something that you can enjoy with your senses. For example, a cup of coffee or tea - sit and notice everything about it, including the smell, the warmth of the mug (make sure it isn't too hot!), the sight of the steam coming off of it, and the taste of it as you drink it.
Mindfulness can also be used while attending holiday events. Rather than focusing on everything going as planned, zoom in on the fun that is being had. This may include a game that children are playing, laughter amongst your family, or sitting quietly watching snow fall. There is beauty in so many moments that, should we allow ourselves to focus on it, can help us to feel content and at peace.

About the Author

Heather DeGuire, MHC-LP, is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling, providing in person counseling to clients located in the Massapequa Park area, as well as online therapy to clients located across the state of New York. Heather strongly believes in teaching clients coping skills that can be incorporated into their daily lives. As the holidays approach each year, she finds that many of her clients express increased stress and anxiety, which inspired her to write this blog post. Heather finds the skills that she has shared here to be great during the holidays and at all times of year!

Interested in learning more about Heather? Check out her bio here.

Interested in scheduling an appointment with Heather? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.

Grounding 101

11/23/2024

Grounding 101

by Sarah Mohan, MS, CRC, MHC-LP, CVE, WIP-C

Anxiety is a feeling most people have experienced at least once in their life. When anxiety strikes, it can take over us completely, and take us completely out of our element. Grounding is a skill that can be used to help bring us back into a space of awareness that reduces feelings of anxiety,

The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise is a mindfulness technique that helps people manage stress and anxiety by focusing on the present moment. It involves using all five senses to observe the environment around you:

5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. It could be a pen, a spot on the ceiling, anything in your surroundings.
4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. It could be your hair, a pillow, or the ground under your feet.
3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. This could be any external sound. If you can hear your belly rumbling that counts! Focus on things you can hear outside of your body.
2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. Maybe you are in your office and smell pencil, or maybe you are in your bedroom and smell a pillow. If you need to take a brief walk to find a scent you could smell soap in your bathroom, or nature outside.
1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste. What does the inside of your mouth taste like—gum, coffee, or the sandwich from lunch?

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The 5-4-3-2-1 technique can help people:

Redirect Attention

By engaging multiple senses, the technique helps people focus on the present and avoid anxious thoughts.

Calm the Nervous System

The technique interrupts the fight-or-flight response, which can reduce anxiety and stress.

Become Aware of Surroundings

The technique can help people become aware of their surroundings and feel safe.

People can practice the 5-4-3-2-1 technique almost anywhere, such as at their desk, while standing in line, or while gardening. If practicing at night, people can close their eyes and visualize the five things.

Flowers and lily pads. Grounding skills can help you to be more present in your surroundings. Connect with a therapist for online therapy in New York today.

About the Author

Sarah Mohan, MS, CRC, MHC-LP, CVE, WIP-C is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. Sarah recognizes from her work with many clients that grounding is not always easy, and can be negatively impacted by many factors, including anxiety, depression, and past trauma. She enjoys teaching grounding tools that can add value to everyday life. She finds it rewarding when she helps clients to incorporate simple tools that make big impacts. Sarah finds grounding helpful in her own life when she feels overwhelmed, allowing her to clear her mind and organize her thoughts.

Are you interested in reading more about Sarah? Check out her clinician bio page here.

Are you interested in scheduling an appointment for in-person or online therapy to focus on learning grounding skills and more? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out a Contact Form.

How to Get the Most Out of Online Therapy

11/19/2024

How to Get the Most Out of Online Therapy

by Candyce Young, MS, MHC-LP

Online therapy became very popular during the COVID-19 pandemic. Prior to the pandemic, a majority of clinicians would not even consider providing online services. Did you know that Teletherapy was actually created in 1960 (using a closed-circuit television link, as the internet did not exist back then!)? How far the world has come! Following the pandemic, online therapy continues to be very popular. Even though many people are back at work in the office and interacting in public spaces, many people continue to prefer online therapy to in person therapy. According to a survey done by The Washington Post, 55% of recent mental health care is done using online platforms. (1)

When we think about the reasons that online therapy became popular, not only did telehealth meet the needs of the pandemic but it also helped:
-Individuals with limited transportation
-Fit the schedule of the busy parent/employer/employee/traveler/etc.
-Allowing for more comfort in session
-Provided accessibility for family sessions, especially when family is not local
-Assisted people to be able to work with the ideal clinician for them if the clinician's office was located far away
-Accessibility to services when feeling under the weather or immunocompromised

Let’s face it- the idea of an unknown room and sitting on an uncomfortable couch while discussing tough topics can seem unappealing to some. If you are identifying with some of the above reasons, then online therapy might be right for you! It can feel like quite the process to transition from in person counseling to online counseling. Change is tough, but that is what brings most to Therapy right? It's the need for change and the room for creating a fresh perspective. I hope that some of the tips listed below will help you in preparing for and getting the most out of online counseling.

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How to Prepare for Online Therapy

Online Therapy is similar to in person sessions in many ways. Here are some tips on how to prepare beforehand so that you can get the most out of your online therapy appointments:

Limit Distractions

Similar to in person appointments, online therapy can be interrupted by the presence of a cell phone use, such as if a call, text, or notification is received. Online therapy also allows for the possibility of other interruptions, including pets, family, neighbors, etc.

Therapy is supposed to be all about You! Let family know that you are in an important appointment so that they do not interrupt. Try to take your dog for a walk before the appointment so that they may nap or rest while you are meeting. Limiting distractions allows you to get out of online therapy what you put in. And as far as phones go - ignoring the Bath & Body Works weekend sale alert is a must! :-)

Create Your Space

This means wherever you feel is quiet, safe, and comfortable enough is where your session can take place. This can be outside on your porch (as long as your neighbors are not within earshot!), in your bedroom, or during your lunch break in your car. Online therapy allows you to be creative to make sure that the session fits your needs. Feel free to fill your therapy space with items and decor that support your therapy process. Add a comfortable blanket, soft lighting, and/or a houseplant, or anything else that you feel supports your therapy process. And remember, even if you start doing online therapy in one location, you can always make changes for upcoming appointments if you find that would be helpful for you!

Prior to your appointment, check to make sure that your internet connection is strong and secure in the area you will be meeting. This will help the session to flow without being interrupted by internet concerns.

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Appearance

Telehealth counseling being accessible at any time is a wonderful thing, but having some rules is important to keep it professional and make it most effective. Comfy still requires compliance, which means please dress appropriately like you would if the session was in person. This idea also goes for conducting yourself as if the session was in person. So No - you can not drink your Moscato during your evening online therapy session. Making a cup of coffee or tea to enjoy during the session is ok though!

I know it seems like a lot of restrictions but again if it's going to take away from your focus, then how can you really get something from your sessions? Mood-altering substances can interfere with the therapy process and lead to you getting less out of your appointments. So it's best to leave them out.

Things to Keep in Mind During Online Therapy

Here are some things to keep in mind about the process during an online therapy appointment:

Interactive

Similar to in-person therapy, online therapy is interactive. Depending on the clinician's style, your session in online therapy may involve various interactive components, such as teaching and practicing mindfulness techniques, reviewing your intake form, exploration of thoughts and emotions, or modeling a meditation practice.

A benefit to online therapy is the ability that you have to bring your therapist into your world. If you use music as a way to cope, bring some of your favorite records to your session. If you have been working on building mastery by learning a new song on guitar, play a clip of the song for them. This interaction can help to build rapport and share your skills and growth with your clinician.

Woman playing guitar. Work towards taking care of you with online therapy in New York. Call to schedule an appointment with Healing & Growth Counseling today.

Plans for Self Care

Let your appointment lead right into a time for self care, if possible. Have your journal right next to you to write and reflect following your session. Have your yoga mat rolled out in front of you, even if you may only have time for 10-15 minutes following your therapy session. Online therapy is just as powerful as in person therapy, in that you may benefit from a little time after the session to recharge before going back to your day.

Being that I focus on providing online therapy in my practice, I must say I am biased. How wonderful it is to reach so many incredible people from all over New York! Being able to work with so many people in their daily environments has taken their therapy to new heights. I have witnessed clients using their coping mechanisms when feeling high anxiety. I have assisted clients in using grounding techniques during their most stressful time of the day. I have witnessed clients showing their self-care techniques & practices and displaying posters from amazing concerts they attended. The benefits and abilities online therapy has are so undeniably amazing!

Here is my key takeaway: Both in-person and online therapy can be helpful and effective. You are able to choose what works best for you. Taking care of You & meeting your needs is the top importance of it all. I am overjoyed that technology has caught up with the times and as your Clinician, I will prioritize meeting your needs using online therapy.

(1)https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/02/12/mental-health-online-telemedicine-therapy/

About the Author

Candyce Young, MS, MHC-LP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling working with clients struggling with relationships, anxiety, depression, and personal growth using online therapy. She has extensive experience at helping her clients to feel safe and comfortable as well as thrive using an online format for therapy. Her favorite two things about providing online therapy in New York is the opportunity to work with a variety of people across the state and the ability to help people use new coping and grounding skills in their daily spaces, helping them to integrate these new practices into their lives.

Want to read more about Candyce? Click here to read her bio page.

Would you like to read more about Online Therapy at Healing & Growth Counseling? Click here to read our Online Therapy in NY page.

Ready to schedule an appointment? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form.

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