What is the Meaning of Healthy Communication?

What is the Meaning of Healthy Communication?

by Heather DeGuire, MHC-LP

Communication is the imparting or exchange of information or news. There are different characteristics of communication. Some are: body language, tone of voice, eye contact, and boundary level. Take a moment and consider this: How do you express your emotions and ideas with others?

Communication shapes our experiences with others based on how we verbalize our
needs and emotions. Depending on how emotions are verbalized or boundaries are set can totally change the path of a conversation. This could result in a disagreement if another person misinterprets the information you are conveying because of the tone and deliverance of communication used. When you are communicating socially with others your tone and deliverance should match your intentions.

Interpersonal v. Intrapersonal Communication

Communication comes in different forms; you have external communication and internal communication. Internal communication is the form of communication used most often throughout the day. This form of communication is called intrapersonal communication; it is the internal dialogue in your mind that you use before you engage in social interaction with others. The intrapersonal communication is the self-talk that guides your interpersonal communication socially. Interpersonal communication is the exchange of information between one or more people. It is done typically by speaking, but can also be done in writing. We often engage in interpersonal communication with many people daily, including family, friends, co-workers, and strangers.

How to Use Assertive Communication

Assertive communication skills allow you the ability to assertively express feelings and needs without being critical or judgmental of the other person. Assertive communication skills can help with regulating your emotions during social interactions with others. If the communication used towards others sounds critical or blaming it is more likely that the other person will respond with defensiveness. This results in the message being misinterpreted and the other person becoming argumentative, which is most likely not the response that you are hoping for.

I-Statements

An I-Statement is an assertive communication skill that provides the person with a simple way of speaking about their feelings and emotions without appearing critical or judgmental. First, be sure that your intrapersonal communication is neutral/positive before engaging (this will positively influence your use of communication skills with others). As you are expressing your thoughts and feelings with the other person, be sure to start your statements with the word "I". When we use "You" to start our statements, it can often be mis-interpreted as finger-pointing or blaming. Keeping it in the "I" makes sure that the speaker is the subject of the sentence. The other person is more likely to engage in a constructive conversation when I-Statements are used.

The reason for developing strong assertive communication skills is to help you regulate your emotions while navigating through difficult social interactions that are being influenced by a person’s internal (intrapersonal) communication. This assertive communication skill of I-statements allows you to describe your thoughts and feelings without blaming or being critical of the other person. 

Developing assertive communication skills can be challenging. Take some time to reflect on your intrapersonal and interpersonal communication, and take small steps towards incorporating assertive communication skills in your day to day life. You can work towards this goal with a friend or family member, giving each other tips and encouragement along the way!

About the Author

Heather DeGuire, MA, MHC-LP is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. Heather works with adolescents and adults, both individually and as couples, on assertive communication. Heather is a big believer in working on intrapersonal communication with clients, as she sees many client struggle with the way in which they speak to themselves, which then impacts their communication style with others. She regularly teaches assertive communication skills to clients and helps them to incorporate them into their daily lives.

Interested in learning more about Heather? Read her bio here.

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