Managing Anxiety During the Holidays

Managing Anxiety During the Holidays

by Heather DeGuire, MS, MHC-LP

Anxiety symptoms are characterized by a feeling of overwhelming sense of worry and concern. The holidays sometimes trigger or amplify anxiety symptoms, especially for those without financial stability or those receiving pressure to attend social gatherings. The holidays could trigger an increase in frequency and duration of anxiety symptoms because of what the holiday means to the person. Some people are not affected by the holidays because they don’t have a negative experience attached to it, whereas some individuals find it hard to regulate their emotions or decrease their intrusive anxious thoughts triggered from the holidays because of their own traumatic experiences related to the holiday. 

What Causes Anxiety During the Holidays?

There are many reasons that could result in someone feeling stressed during the holidays that increases a person’s anxiety symptoms. Some scenarios that affect people during the holidays could be someone who has lost a parent, a child that has passed away, a relative aging and unable to travel alone, or the loss of a friend/companion. The holidays can also be difficult for parents because of their expectations that the holiday should be perfect for their children. It is important to find a way of letting go of "perfect" and enjoying the moment with your family, because memories are not planned, they are created in the moment. Anxiety symptoms triggered from the holidays are sometimes intensified by a person’s lack of family, social support, or financial stability.

How Can I Cope with Holiday Anxiety?

Coping with anxiety is unique to each person and looks different for everyone. Some ways to cope with anxiety symptoms triggered during the holidays could look like engaging in self-care or using cognitive reframing strategies. Read on for some ideas to utilize this holiday season:

How to use Socratic Questioning to decrease holiday anxiety

A form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that can help you to cope with anxiety symptoms is Socratic Questioning techniques. This skill helps to challenge the maladaptive thoughts triggered during the holidays and replaces them with rational thoughts. This skill can help you to change the way that you view a difficult  situation that emerges during the holidays. 
Here's an example: Someone who is really anxious about the holidays might be focused on thinking about there being so much to do and not being able to handle all of it. They can question themselves with "What would happen if everything isn't done perfectly?" to which they might respond with "People would get disappointed." Questionning can continue - "Do people care more about perfection or about having fun spending time together?" This can help this person to recognize that people are more interested in spending time together than everthing being perfect.

How to use self care to decrease holiday anxiety

Some self-care tips to help manage anxiety symptoms during the holidays could be to stay organized and commit to a plan, create your own holiday traditions, make space for feelings of grief when they arise, and keep stress levels at a minimal by delegating or taking space for yourself as needed. Another coping strategy to help manage anxiety symptoms during the holidays could look like journaling what makes you feel anxious. This will help identify and challenge insecurities directly. 

How to use mindfulness to decrease holiday anxiety

Finding mindfulness activities during the holidays will help you stay focused in the present moment and connect with loved ones during the holidays. It is important during this stressful time to learn to treat yourself with love and kindness as you navigate through the difficulties that arise throughout the holidays. A simple mindfulness exercise can be to sit with something that you can enjoy with your senses. For example, a cup of coffee or tea - sit and notice everything about it, including the smell, the warmth of the mug (make sure it isn't too hot!), the sight of the steam coming off of it, and the taste of it as you drink it. 
Mindfulness can also be used while attending holiday events. Rather than focusing on everything going as planned, zoom in on the fun that is being had. This may include a game that children are playing, laughter amongst your family, or sitting quietly watching snow fall. There is beauty in so many moments that, should we allow ourselves to focus on it, can help us to feel content and at peace.

About the Author

Heather DeGuire, MHC-LP, is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling, providing in person counseling to clients located in the Massapequa Park area, as well as online therapy to clients located across the state of New York. Heather strongly believes in teaching clients coping skills that can be incorporated into their daily lives. As the holidays approach each year, she finds that many of her clients express increased stress and anxiety, which inspired her to write this blog post. Heather finds the skills that she has shared here to be great during the holidays and at all times of year!

Interested in learning more about Heather? Check out her bio here.

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