How to Reduce Stress and Take Care of You During the Holiday Season

Plan Ahead to Cope with Holiday Stress

by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS, EMDRIA Certified Therapist & Approved Consultant

Did you feel some pressure begin with the first Mariah Carey reference on November 1st? Me too! Now that the 50% off Halloween candy aisles are cleared out and holiday decor is in abundance, the holidays feel as if they are already here. Unfortunately, along with the holidays often comes an increase in stress levels.

Nearly 9 in 10 US adults report stressors that impact them during the holiday season. 41% of adults report an increase in stress during the months of November through January (1). This increase in stress can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance use, overeating, and overuse of social media. It can take people out of their usual balanced practices of proper amounts of sleep, exercise, and engaging in hobbies. This all leads to many people "going through the motions" during the holiday season rather than mindfully enjoying it.

Although it already feels like they are just around the corner, there is still some time to put plans into place to promote a more balanced, enjoyable holiday season. Read on for three ways to start preparing now for the holidays so that you can keep yourself balanced and enjoy your holiday season:

Schedule Your Priorities

What are the holiday events you really enjoy? A local tree lighting? A friend’s potluck dinner? Early morning black Friday shopping (in person or in your slippers, depending on your style)? Making holiday cookies with your kids? Add them to your calendar NOW, in permanent ink! These are your non-negotiables. It is important to have events in our lives that fill our cup, energize us, and help us to slow down and be in the moment. By identifying them now and putting them on the calendar, you can ensure that you can look forward to and enjoy them this season.

Notice this - is your holiday calendar typically full of traditions that were passed down to you from older generations? Consider whether these traditions continue to suit you. Are there new traditions that you want to develop? As you are planning, notice whether you are adding things to your calendar out of obligation or desire. Don't forget that this is your holiday season; you deserve to enjoy your own traditions too!

Develop a Self-Care Plan

There are likely to be points during the holiday season when you notice increased levels of pressure or difficult emotions. Planning ahead for these moments will help you to be able to respond to your needs more quickly. I like to break it down into 3 levels:

1 - Quick Self-Care (less than 5 minutes)

When you only have a few minutes to recharge, it can feel impossible to do so. But there are ways to rebalance quickly. Consider starting and/or ending your day with self-care regularly. You can also use these tools during the day when feeling overwhelmed. Try them out in different situations to see which ones are most effective for you.

• Try practicing mindfulness, focusing your attention fully on one of your senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, or smell). Should any thoughts pop up in your mind, let them float away and refocus on your senses.
• Choose a positive affirmation or self-compassion phrase that you can remind yourself of during these moments. Take several deep breaths while focusing on the phrase and repeating it to yourself in your mind.
• Do a quick meditation. There are many short guided meditations accessible in apps and online. Complete one within a few minutes to ground yourself.
• Stretch your body. A few gentle stretches can help blood flow and can help to ground you to the present moment. You don't have to get into advanced yoga poses for this to be effective.
• Take a few minutes to write in a journal. Write about how you are feeling, what you are thinking, or whatever comes to mind. Write down what you are grateful for each day and refer back to it as needed. 

2 - Self-Care Break (1-2 hours)

When you have 1-2 hours to take care of yourself, the plans can be a little more involved. This level of self care may involve getting out of the house, to grab a cup of coffee, go for a long walk or hike, get your nails done, or grab lunch with a friend. It can also be done at home, such as by taking a long bath, reading a book you have been enjoying, or doing a paint-by-number. Keep in mind that the activity needs to be one that you participate in mindfully, and not one that you find that you “zone out” during and barely remember. Consider “unplugging” during these self care hours by turning your phone off, to prevent the temptation or habit of picking it up and starting to scroll.

3 - Self-Care Day (several hours)

This level of self care can be needed after a difficult family gathering, or a marathon of a few obligations in a row. Consider planning a self-care day, which can be done by combining several of your shorter self-care options into one day, or by planning a little day-trip for yourself, either alone or with others who you feel energized to be around. It is helpful to plan these ahead of time, perhaps on days following events that tend to be stressful. This can be a great way to use up one of your remaining PTO (paid time off) days from work - for a Mental Health Day!

​Consider going for a long drive to see the beautiful fall foliage, attending a day-long retreat, or attending a sporting event, show, or concert that you enjoy. It can be planned ahead, or planned as you go based on how you are feeling and what you are in the mood for at that time. Once again, try to “unplug” so as to not get distracted by notifications on your phone and to avoid the habit of scrolling social media.

Set Healthy Boundaries

It is likely that you will be asked to do many things and attend many events throughout the holiday season, some of which you may be interested in, and others that you have no interest in being a part of. Before getting into the holiday season, practice saying “no” to set healthy boundaries. Try it with safe people in your life first to get the hang of it. Notice how it feels to do so. This can be uncomfortable at first, especially if you struggle with people-pleasing. Consider saying no when you know that it would overwhelm you to attend an event, or when you already feel that you have enough on your plate and don't have the energy to commit to a task.

I hope the recommendations that I shared are helpful to you as you prepare to navigate the holiday season. By planning ahead and practicing some of these things before stressors increase, it will make it easier to continue using them and they will be more effective throughout the holiday season. Wishing you a balanced and enjoyable holiday!

About the Author

Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS, EMDRIA Approved Consultant is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. She has worked with clients in the mental health field for over 15 years. Over the years Cindy has seen the increase in stress, anxiety, and depression occur for her clients during the winter holiday months. Seeing this occur inspired her to write this blog post. If you are struggling with increased stress, anxiety, and/or depression during the holiday season, know that therapy can be helpful! Therapists can assist with the points made in this blog post. They can also help to process past painful experiences that may have occurred during past holiday seasons.

Interested in learning more about our therapists? Check out our Clinician page here.

Interested in scheduling an appointment for therapy to assist you in planning for and coping with the holiday season? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our contact form here.

References:
1-https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress#:~:text=While nearly half of U.S.,other points in the year.