How Can Cognitive Reframing Help Me?

How Can Cognitive Reframing Help Me?

by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS

Cognitive reframing is a tool that is often used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help people identify and challenge irrational or negative thoughts, in an effort to replace them with more rational and balanced thoughts. Take a moment and think of some of the irrational or negative thoughts that pop into your head throughout your day. Here are some examples of negative thoughts that could benefit from cognitive reframing:

• "I'm a failure."
• "I'm not good enough."
• "I'm going to be alone forever."
• "I'm unlovable."
• "I can't get through this..."

How does Cognitive Reframing Work?

How is it that a technique like cognitive reframing can positively influence thoughts and feelings, even behaviors? It almost sounds too good to be true, which often leaves people wondering if it could possibly be helpful. Let's explore some of the ways in which cognitive reframing works:

It encourages you to pause

The first benefit of cognitive reframing comes from entering a pause into your thought process. Typically, the maladaptive thoughts that we have that interfere with our daily lives feel like they come rapid fire. By entering a figurative "Stop" sign or "Yield" sign, we slow the thought process to allow for corrective action. Just the act of slowing down for a moment can help to decrease anxiety and prevent further spiraling into negative thoughts about oneself.

It helps you to recognize the thought as irrational

Most of the maladaptive thoughts that we have that interfere with our daily functioning and mood are easily shown to not be based in fact, or are an exaggeration based on the evidence present.
For example, consider the above statement of "I can't get through this.". If you have survived 100% of the days that you have had so far (which is true if you are reading this blog post), then there is zero evidence that you can't get through your present dilemma. Using cognitive reframing helps you bring into your awareness the irrationality of the statement.
Another example from above stated "I am a failure". Perhaps this comes after doing poorly on an exam at school or after finding out that you weren't hired for a job that you interviewed for. While there is some evidence of failure present, it is not enough to substantiate a claim that identifies you as "a failure". There are, most likely, very many successes that you have experienced in your life, so to take one example to overlook all of that would be quite irrational as well.

It creates new neural pathways

Repetition with cognitive reframing is key. I wish I could promise that once you cognitively reframe a statement once, you will never think of the irrational statement again. However, with research building over the years supporting neuroplasticity, or the brain's natural ability to change and adapt throughout one's life, repeating cognitive reframes helps to form new neural pathways so that the new rational statement can prevail. 
Have you ever learned something new, and as you did it more and more, it became easier, almost automatic? An example of this might be cooking a new recipe. At first it takes you a long time to make the dish, and you have to refer back to the recipe often to double- and triple-check that you are doing the right step. Eventually, you can make the dish while hardly referring to the recipe. Cognitive reframing works similarly. An irrational thought may come up repeatedly, and at first you may reframe it using a worksheet or referring to a blog post such as this one, however over time you may find yourself able to easily confront it and reframe it. Over the course of time, you may even find that the irrational thought no longer comes up for you at all, and you are able to speak more kindly and realistically to yourself!

Examples of cognitive reframing

Let's share some common examples of cognitive reframing to help you get the hang of it. Let's revisit the common examples listed at the top of this blog article:
1. Irrational thought: "I am a failure." 
Reframe thought: "I didn't do well on this test. It is probably from not studying enough. I will start studying for my next test sooner, and hopefully this will help me to bring my grade up."

2. Irrational thought: "I'm not good enough."
Reframe thought: "That person is probably not recognizing my worth, and their 'stuff' might be contributing to that. I know inherently that I am a good enough person."

3. Irrational thought: "I'm going to be alone forever."
Reframe thought: "That loss was very painful for me. I have learned a lot from my experience that will help me know what I want to look for in a future partner or friend."

4. Irrational thought: "I'm unlovable."
Reframe thought: "Even though someone is communicating to me that they don't love me, there is no proof or reason to believe that there is something wrong with me because of that."

5. Irrational thought: "I can't get through this."
Reframe thought: "I have survived 100% of my days. It may not be easy or painless, however I know that I can get through this. Let me focus on 'when I get through this' instead."

How to start using cognitive reframing

Just do it! It starts with becoming more self-aware of the negative irrational thought that is coming up in a situation. I often encourage clients to start a note in their phone or take notes in a notebook/planner. Write in the first column the negative, irrational thought, and then in the second column practice reframing it. By doing this you will start to notice patterns in negative maladaptive thoughts that predominate and interfere with your life. Consider starting with maladaptive thoughts that are less challenging to reframe, and work your way up to the more difficult ones.
It can be helpful to team up with a friend. You can share with them and discuss the reframes you are working on with one another. A friend is often helpful in reframing, as our friends tend to speak more nicely to us than we do to ourselves!
A therapist can also be helpful in incorporating cognitive reframing into your daily life. A therapist can be particularly helpful if you are finding it difficult to reframe. Sometimes our maladaptive thoughts develop due to traumatic experiences which may require more trauma work before the ability to reframe it is possible. It is important to not become hard on yourself if cognitive reframing doesn't come naturally to you. There is most likely a reason that can be uncovered in therapy. Don't hesitate to reach out for help!

About the Author

Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS is the founder and owner of Healing & Growth Counseling. Cindy's initial training in mental health counseling focused a lot on cognitive behavioral therapy, and therefore she has used tools and interventions such as cognitive reframing a lot with clients over the years. Cindy loves teaching this skill to clients and then seeing the positive impact from practicing it on a daily basis. One of the most rewarding things as a therapist is seeing clients let go of maladaptive irrational thoughts that once held them back from their goals. Cindy has always found that leaps and bounds can be made towards goals once more positive and realistic thoughts are present.

Interested in scheduling an appointment to work on implementing more cognitive reframing into your life? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.