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The "What If" Cycle: How Anxiety Pulls Us Into Overthinking

6/3/2026

 

by Fallon Panetta, MHC-LP

Man sitting in corner with post its covering his face and torso. Overthinking is a common symptom of anxiety. Therapy can help you to learn tools to stop the spiral of overthinking. Reach out to schedule an appointment for in person or online therapy in New York today.

The "What If" Cycle: How Anxiety Pulls Us Into Overthinking

​“What if I fail?”
“What if something bad happens?”
“What if they’re upset with me?”
“What if I embarrass myself?”
“What if I can’t handle it?”

For many people struggling with anxiety, these thoughts are not occasional worries. They can become a constant mental loop that feels exhausting and difficult to escape.

This pattern is often referred to as the “what if” cycle, and it is one of the most common ways anxiety shows up in everyday life.

What is the "What If" Cycle?

​The “what if” cycle happens when the mind continuously jumps ahead into future possibilities, usually focusing on worst-case scenarios. Anxiety convinces us that if we think through every possible outcome, we will somehow feel more prepared or more in control.

The problem is that anxiety rarely feels satisfied.

Instead of calming down, the brain often creates more questions:
“What if that doesn’t work?”
“What if something even worse happens?”
“What if I make the wrong decision?”

Before long, a person may find themselves mentally replaying situations, overanalyzing conversations, seeking reassurance, avoiding certain experiences, or feeling physically tense and overwhelmed.

Why Anxiety Creates This Pattern

At its core, anxiety is often connected to uncertainty.
​
The brain is designed to protect us, so when something feels uncertain or uncomfortable, it searches for possible threats. The mind believes it is helping by preparing for every possibility, but this constant scanning can leave people stuck in survival mode.

Even when there is no immediate danger, the body may still respond as though there is.

This can lead to symptoms such as:
• racing thoughts
• difficulty concentrating
• tightness in the chest
• trouble sleeping
• irritability
• restlessness
• muscle tension
• feeling emotionally drained
​
Over time, the “what if” cycle can make people doubt themselves and feel disconnected from the present moment because their attention is constantly focused on future fears.

The Difference Between Productive Thinking and Anxiety

​There is a difference between healthy problem-solving and anxious overthinking.

Productive thinking helps you take action:
“I’m nervous about the presentation, so I’ll prepare tonight.”

Anxiety-based thinking keeps you stuck:
“What if I mess up? What if everyone judges me? What if I freeze?”

One leads to solutions.
The other leads to spiraling.

​Anxiety often tricks people into believing they must solve every possible outcome before they can relax. In reality, trying to gain complete certainty usually increases anxiety rather than decreases it.
Woman sitting in car with arm across forehead overwhelmed. It can be difficult to break the cycle of overthinking and anxiety. Healing & Growth Counseling offers specialized therapy for anxiety so that you don't have to continue the cycle.

How to Break the Cycle

​Breaking the “what if” cycle does not mean forcing yourself to stop thinking completely. Instead, it involves learning how to respond differently to anxious thoughts.
​
A few helpful strategies include:

1. Notice the Thought Without Attaching to It

​Instead of immediately believing the thought, try noticing it with curiosity.

For example:
“I’m having the thought that something bad will happen.”

​This small shift creates distance between you and the anxiety.

2. Ask Yourself: Is This a Fact or a Fear?

​Anxiety often speaks in possibilities, not facts.

Just because your mind imagines something does not mean it will happen.
​
Checking the evidence can help ground you back in reality.

3. Bring Yourself Back to the Present Moment

​Anxiety pulls attention into the future. Grounding techniques help bring it back to the here and now.

This might include:
• taking slow breaths
• noticing your surroundings
• focusing on physical sensations
• naming things you can see or hear
• stepping away from overstimulation

​The goal is not perfection. The goal is regulation.
Flower being held between open hands. Focusing on the present moment, mindfulness, can be a great tool to help break the cycle of overthinking and anxiety. Professional therapists at Healing & Growth Counseling offer specialized therapy for anxiety both in person and online in New York.

4. Focus on What You Can Control

​You cannot control every outcome, reaction, or situation. You can control how you care for yourself, how you respond, and what choices you make in the present moment.
​
Trying to control everything often fuels anxiety. Learning to tolerate uncertainty helps reduce it.

5. Challenge the Need for Certainty

​Many anxious thoughts begin with the belief:
“I need to know exactly what will happen.”

But life does not work that way.
​
Part of healing involves building confidence in your ability to cope, even when things feel uncertain.

Final Thoughts

​The “what if” cycle can feel incredibly convincing, especially when anxiety is loud. But thoughts are not predictions, and fears are not facts.

You do not have to solve every possible future scenario to feel okay.

Sometimes healing begins by slowing down, grounding yourself in the present moment, and reminding yourself:
“I can handle things as they come.”
​
With support, awareness, and practice, it is possible to step out of the cycle of overthinking and respond to anxiety with more balance, self-compassion, and confidence.

Mindfulness: What is it and How do I do it?

5/28/2026

 

by Brenna Tighe, MSEd, LMHC, CRC

Lotus flower floating in the moonlit water. Find a sense of peace and calm by practicing mindfulness. Therapists at Healing & Growth Counseling provide in person and online therapy to help you incorporate grounding and coping skill such as mindfulness into your daily life.

Mindfulness: What is it and How do I do it?

Mindfulness has become somewhat of a buzzword over the last few years. We’ve heard of it being a cure-all for stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, but what exactly is mindfulness?​

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment. When you’re practicing mindfulness, you are observing your thoughts and feelings without judgement. In a world that is growing more complicated and fast-paced by the day, many of us are feeling a need to slow down and connect deeper with our Self. 
Mindfulness can benefit us in a plethora of ways. If you’re looking to reduce stress, mindfulness helps improve emotional regulation, which leads to a better mood & better ability to handle stress (Remmers, Topolinski, & Koole, 2016). It’s not only beneficial in reducing your current stress levels, but incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine is a great tool for effectively managing stress permanently.

How do I practice Mindfulness?

I know when I first heard about mindfulness a few years ago, I ignorantly thought it was sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat for hours, but there are so many different ways to practice mindfulness! I was unaware that there were a plethora of ways to incorporate mindfulness into my life in a way that felt simple and easy for me. Below are a few of my favorite ways to practice mindfulness on a daily basis…

Mindful Breath

Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Notice where you feel it, it might be the air going in and out at your nostrils, or the rise and fall of your chest/stomach. You can do this for as little as 30 seconds or as long as you want.

Mindful Shower

A daily shower is the perfect time to practice a mindfulness meditation exercise. As you step into the shower, notice how the water feels as it hits each part of your body. Notice which part of your body you wash first and switch it up. Habits like showering usually put us on autopilot, we go through the motions without thinking about it. ​

Mindful Five Senses Exercise

This is a grounding technique that uses all five sense to root down and feel entirely centered in your body. By engaging in this activity, our brain refocuses from ruminating thoughts to focusing on the present moment. ​
a. FEEL: name 5 things you can feel in or on your body
b. HEAR: name 4 things you can hear
c. SEE: name 3 things you can see
d. SMELL: name 2 things you can smell
e. TASTE: name one thing you can taste
Woman sitting with hands together and eyes closed. Practicing mindfulness can have great benefit on your mental health, reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression. At Healing & Growth Counseling you have the opportunity to work with a licensed therapist to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life.

Phone Apps for Mindfulness

There are also great apps you can download on your phone for guided mindful meditations. Guided meditations can be helpful for people who don’t know where or how to start. Having an expert lead you through the basic steps of your meditation practice can teach us how to do it ourselves down the line. Three of the most recommended apps for guided mindful meditations are…
  1. Calm: Calm makes it easy to create a daily mindfulness practice. There are a handful of different options you can choose from (daily calm, quick and easy, mental fitness, sleep stories, etc) If you choose to download the Calm app, you have the option of signing up for a 7-day free trial. After the 7 days are up, you have the option of creating an account at an extra cost. 
  2. Headspace: I personally use the Headspace app and can’t recommend it enough! Being new to mindfulness meditation, the 10-day basics course was a great place to start. It is designed to teach the essentials of meditation in just minutes per day. Headspace offers themed meditations (finding focus, dealing with regret, difficult conversations, etc), an entire sleep section that helps you wind down and prepare for sleep, and also an SOS section, which offers meditations to help manage intense experiences. Headspace offers a 7-day free trial, or a 14-day free trial when you buy an annual subscription.
  3. Mindfulness Coach: this app is for iPhone users only and was designed by the US department of Veterans Affairs to help teach mindfulness to service members & veterans. The app is completely free and offers mindfulness training with the goal of reducing stress, improving emotional balance, increasing self-awareness & helping with anxiety and depression.
Life, especially right now, is so chaotic. It’s important to nourish ourselves and reconnect with our Self. If you’re struggling with anxiety, stress, depression, overwhelm, or self-awareness, give mindfulness a try!
RESOURCES:
Remmers, C., Topolinski, S., & Koole, S. L. (2016). Why being mindful may have more benefits than you realize: Mindfulness improves both explicit and implicit mood regulation. Mindfulness 7, 829-827.
https://www.calm.com/blog/about
https://www.headspace.com/meditation/guided-meditation
https://mobile.va.gov/app/mindfulness-coach
Brenna Tighe, MSEd, LMHC, CRC is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling, providing individual mental health counseling services to clients in person at our Massapequa Park office and online via telehealth to clients located across the state of New York. Well-versed in mindfulness, Brenna bring mindfulness skills to her clients to help in decreasing symptoms of anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and depression. She is a firm believer in practicing what she preaches, and incorporates mindfulness into her daily life.
Learn more about Brenna
Schedule an Appointment

Box Breathing: A Simple Way to Calm Your Mind and Body

5/6/2026

 

by Fallon Panetta, MS, MHC-LP

Box Breathing: A Simple Way to Calm Your Mind and Body

When stress or anxiety builds, one of the first things that changes is your breathing.
It often becomes faster, more shallow, and irregular without you even noticing.
​
Box breathing is a simple tool that helps slow your breathing down and bring your body back to a calmer, more steady state. It’s easy to learn, can be done anywhere, and is one of the most effective ways to support your nervous system in the moment.

What is Box Breathing?

​Box breathing is a structured breathing technique where you follow a steady rhythm:
​
Breathe in → hold → breathe out → hold
Each part is done for the same amount of time, creating a steady “box” pattern.
A common starting point is:
Inhale for 4 seconds
Hold for 4 seconds
Exhale for 4 seconds
Hold for 4 seconds
Then repeat.

This pattern gives your body something to focus on, which can help interrupt anxious thoughts and bring your attention back to the present moment.

Why Does Box Breathing Work?

​When you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, your body is often in a heightened state. Your nervous system is activated, which can make it harder to think clearly, focus, or feel in control.

Box breathing helps regulate that response.

By slowing your breath, you signal to your body that it is safe to relax. Your heart rate begins to slow, your muscles soften, and your mind can begin to settle.

It also gives your brain a simple, structured task to focus on. Instead of getting caught in racing thoughts, your attention shifts to counting and breathing.
Man sitting with anxiety at desk. When about to take an exam or enter an important work meeting, box breathing can help lower anxiety and improve performance. Reach out to schedule an appointment for inpatient person or online therapy in New York today.

When to Use Box Breathing

​Box breathing can be helpful in many everyday situations, including:
​
• before a test or presentation
• when feeling overwhelmed or anxious
• during moments of frustration or irritability
• before responding in a difficult conversation
• at night when your mind won’t slow down

You don’t need to wait until you feel overwhelmed to use it. Practicing when you feel calm can make it easier to use when you need it most.

How to Try Box Breathing

​Start by getting comfortable, either sitting or standing.
​
Breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of 4
Hold your breath for 4
Breathe out slowly through your mouth for 4
Hold again for 4
Repeat this cycle for a few minutes.

If a count of 4 feels too long or too short, you can adjust it. The most important part is keeping each part even and steady.

What to Expect from Box Breathing

​At first, it might feel a little unnatural to control your breathing this way. That’s normal. With practice, it becomes more comfortable and easier to access.

You may notice your body starting to relax after just a few cycles. Your thoughts may slow down, and you may feel more grounded.
​
The goal is not to completely eliminate stress or anxiety. It’s to give yourself a tool that helps you manage it in the moment.
Man practicing box breathing to emotionally regulate. Therapy can teach you coping skills that are personalized to your needs and life. Reach out to schedule an appointment for in person or online therapy today.

Box Breathing: A Simple Reset you can Use Anytime

Box breathing is a small, simple practice, but it can have a meaningful impact. It gives you a way to pause, reset, and respond more calmly to what’s happening around you.
​
Even taking a minute or two to slow your breathing can help you feel more in control and more connected to yourself.

It’s something you can carry with you anywhere, ready to use whenever you need it.
Fallon Panetta, MS, MHC-LP is a clinician and the Intake Specialist at Healing & Growth Counseling. Fallon teaches box breathing to many of her clients struggling with emotion regulation, anxiety, depression, and more. If you'd like to learn more about Fallon, check out her bio here.
Request an Initial Appointment Using our Online Portal

Why am I Anxious Even When Nothing is Wrong?

4/29/2026

 

by Brenna Tighe, MSEd, LMHC, CRC

Why am I Anxious Even When Nothing is Wrong?

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why am I always anxious even when nothing is wrong?” you’re not alone.

This is one of the most common experiences people bring into therapy. Anxiety doesn’t always show up in response to a clear problem. In fact, many people feel the most confused when anxiety appears during calm moments, good seasons of life, or times when they “should” feel happy.

The truth is: anxiety is not always a sign that something is wrong in your life. Often, it’s a sign that your nervous system has learned to stay on high alert.
​

Many people assume anxiety is just overthinking or worrying too much, but it can also present as physical symptoms. Physical symptoms include but are not limited to tight chest, racing heart, restlessness, difficulty relaxing, stomach issues, irritability, difficulty sleeping, etc. 

Anxiety can happen when life seems fine because…
​

1. Your Body is Used to Survival Mode

If you’ve spent years under stress, whether from difficult relationships, family chaos, financial pressure, parenting demands, or constant hustle, your body can become accustomed to operating in stress mode.
​

When life finally slows down, calm can feel unfamiliar and maybe unsafe.
Some people even feel more anxious during peaceful moments because their system is waiting for the next shoe to drop.
Man standing in corner with post its containing stressors taped all over and around him. If you have had several stressful years, your mind and body can get accustomed to feeling as if you are in survival mode, making it difficult to feel safe when not in survival mode. Reach out to start online therapy in New York to gain the ability to find safety and peace in your daily life.

2. You're Carrying Unprocessed Stress

Stress doesn’t always disappear just because the stressful situation ended.
You may have pushed through a hard season of life without fully processing it. Many high-functioning people are excellent at surviving but struggle to slow down enough to feel what they’ve been carrying.
​

Eventually, that stored stress can show up as anxiety.

3. Your Mind Learned to Prevent Problems

For many people, anxiety becomes a form of protection.

Your brain may believe:
  • If I worry enough, I’ll be prepared when/if it happens.
  • If I think through every possibility, I’ll stay safe no matter what.
  • If I stay alert, nothing bad will surprise me.

This can create constant mental activity even when there is no immediate issue.
​

4. You Struggle to Feel Safe During Good Times

Sometimes people become anxious when things are going really well because vulnerability exists in happiness too. When life feels good, there is something to lose.

That can trigger thoughts like:
  • What if this doesn’t last?
  • What if something bad happens next?
  • I shouldn’t get too comfortable

​This often happens in people who have experienced disappointment, instability, or sudden change in the past.
Here's how to help…

Notice What Anxiety is Trying to Do

  • What is my anxiety trying to protect me from right now?
  • What feels uncertain?
  • What feels out of control?
This shifts you from shame into understanding.

Woman engaging in a  deep breathing practice. Regulating the body through deep breathing can help with decreasing anxiety in the moment. Reach out to start meeting with a therapist for online therapy in New York to learn breathing exercises and other ways to decrease anxiety in your daily life.

Regulate the Body First

  • Slow, longer exhales
  • Walking
  • Stretching
  • Cold water on hands or face
  • Naming five things you can see
  • Unclenching jaw and shoulders
  • Stepping away from overstimulation
These help signal safety to the nervous system.

Reduce Chronic Overload

Look at:
  • Boundaries
  • Sleep habits
  • Constant multitasking
  • People pleasing
  • Overcommitting
  • Lack of downtime
  • Perfectionism
Many people treat anxiety while continuing lifestyles that keep them dysregulated.

Get Support

Sometimes anxiety has roots that are hard to see on your own.
Therapy can help uncover the patterns underneath chronic anxiety, including stress history, relationship dynamics, trauma responses, perfectionism, and nervous system conditioning.

​You do not need to wait until things are falling apart to get help!
Brenna Tighe, MSEd, LMHC, CRC is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling.  She has over 5 years of experience working with people struggling with anxiety. She utilizes CBT and mindfulness with her clients to help them understand what triggers anxiety and how to decrease anxiety. She enjoys teaching tools that can be used in the moment and working through thoughts and feelings about past experiences that contribute to present-day anxiety.
Read more about our Anxiety Services here.
Want to learn more about Brenna? Read her bio here.
Schedule an Appointment for Anxiety Therapy

High-Functioning Anxiety: When You Look Fine but Feel Overwhelmed Inside

2/21/2026

 

High-Functioning Anxiety: When You Look Fine but Feel Overwhelmed Inside

by Fallon Panetta, MS

​From the outside, everything may look together. You show up. You meet deadlines. You care for others. You handle responsibilities.

But internally, it can feel very different.

​High-functioning anxiety is often hidden beneath achievement and capability. Many people who experience it are described as dependable, organized, motivated, or successful. Yet beneath that competence, there may be constant worry, mental tension, and difficulty truly relaxing.

What is High-Functioning Anxiety?

​High-functioning anxiety is a term used to describe living with ongoing anxiety while still managing daily responsibilities.

Unlike anxiety that visibly interferes with work or relationships, high-functioning anxiety can exist quietly in the background. Because things are getting done, it may not be recognized as anxiety at all.
​
In many cases, it becomes part of how someone identifies themselves.
Woman sitting at desk in front of laptop with head in hands. High-functioning anxiety can be difficult to spot, since the person appears to be productive and put together. Reach out today to begin working on decreasing your anxiety through in person or online appointments in New York.

Common Signs of High-Functioning Anxiety

​High-functioning anxiety may look like:
​
• Overthinking conversations long after they end
• Difficulty turning off your thoughts at night
• Feeling restless during downtime
• Keeping constant mental to do lists
• Fear of disappointing others
• Saying yes when you want to say no
• Irritability beneath a calm exterior
• A strong need for control to reduce uncertainty
• Trouble relaxing even during breaks or vacations

Many people describe feeling driven by anxiety. Productivity can feel like the only way to quiet the worry.

Why High-Functioning Anxiety can be Hard to Recognize

​Because responsibilities are being handled, anxiety may feel justified or even necessary.

You might think:

“I just care a lot.”
“I work better under pressure.”
“This is just how I’ve always been.”

When anxiety fuels performance, it can feel productive. Over time, however, constantly operating in a heightened state of alert can be exhausting.

What is the Role of the Nervous System in High-Functioning Anxiety?

​Our nervous system is designed to protect us. When it senses a threat, it activates a stress response.

For someone with high-functioning anxiety, that response may stay slightly activated most of the time. Even when there is no immediate danger, the body can feel on edge.

This may show up as:
• Muscle tension
• Headaches
• Digestive discomfort
• Fatigue
• Difficulty sleeping
• Feeling guilty when resting

​Living in a near constant state of alert can quietly impact emotional and physical well being.
Upset woman holding paper with smile in front of her face. Anxious individuals may be smiling on the outside while struggling on the inside. Reach out to schedule an appointment for in person or online therapy in NY to decrease anxiety today.

What is the Cost of High-Functioning Anxiety?

​While high-functioning anxiety can lead to achievement, it often comes at a cost:

• Difficulty being fully present
• Perfectionism and self criticism
• Strained relationships
• Burnout
• Emotional overwhelm beneath composure

You can appear capable and still feel overwhelmed. Both experiences can exist at the same time.

Gentle Ways to Begin Shifting with High-Functioning Anxiety

​If you recognize yourself in this pattern, small changes can support your nervous system and emotional health.

Practice intentional pauses. Even a few minutes of slow breathing can signal safety to your body.

Notice what is driving your productivity. Are you acting from inspiration or from fear?

Experiment with saying no in low stakes situations. Boundaries can reduce internal pressure.

Remind yourself that your worth is not tied to output. Rest is not something you earn. It is something your body needs.
​
Allow space for good enough. Perfection is often anxiety in disguise.
Street sign that says

When to Consider Therapy for High-Functioning Anxiety

​If anxiety feels persistent, exhausting, or begins to affect sleep, mood, relationships, or health, therapy can help.

In therapy, you can explore the roots of your anxiety, patterns of perfectionism or people pleasing, and ways to regulate your nervous system more effectively. You can learn how to set boundaries and motivate yourself from a place of steadiness rather than pressure.

High-functioning anxiety is common, and support is available.

You do not have to wait until things feel unmanageable to seek help.

If anxiety is impacting your well being, our clinicians are here to support you. Contact us through our website or by calling our office to learn more about how therapy can help.
Fallon Panetta, MS, is Healing & Growth Counseling's Intake Specialist.
Interested in learning more about services to address high-functioning anxiety? Call us at (516) 406-8991.

Interested in scheduling an appointment? 
Check current availability and request an initial appointment

Travel Anxiety: When the Desire to Go Meets the Fear to Leave

2/18/2026

 

Travel Anxiety: When the Desire to Go Meets the Fear to Leave

by Candyce Young, MS, MHC-LP

For many people, travel represents freedom, joy, and connection. For others, it brings a familiar knot in the stomach, racing thoughts, and the urge to cancel plans at the last minute. 
Travel anxiety is more common than we talk about—and it doesn’t mean you’re weak, ungrateful, or “bad at relaxing.” It means your nervous system is trying (sometimes clumsily) to keep you safe.

What is Travel Anxiety?

Travel anxiety is the intense worry, fear, or physical discomfort that shows up before or during travel. It can be triggered by flying, driving long distances, staying in unfamiliar places, or even planning the trip itself.
Some common experiences include:
  • Racing thoughts or catastrophic “what if” scenarios
  • Shortness of breath, nausea, dizziness, or heart palpitations
  • Trouble sleeping before a trip
  • Avoidance (canceling trips or staying close to home “just in case”)
  • Feeling trapped, out of control, or overwhelmed
For some people, anxiety begins the morning of their travel plans. For others, anxiety can begin to build days, weeks, or even months before a planned trip. 
Travel anxiety isn’t about the destination—it’s about uncertainty, loss of control, and perceived danger.
Man sitting on floor at airport holding head in hands. Travel anxiety can interfere with enjoying vacations and time with family. Reach out today to schedule in person or online therapy in New York to help decrease travel anxiety and increase travel enjoyment!

Why is my Anxiety so Bad when I Travel?

From a therapeutic lens, travel anxiety often stems from:
  • Unpredictability: New environments remove familiar safety cues
  • Loss of control: You can’t easily escape a plane, traffic, or schedules
  • Past experiences: Panic attacks, illness, or trauma tied to travel
  • Underlying anxiety patterns: Generalized anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, or health anxiety
Your nervous system doesn’t distinguish between real danger and imagined danger—it reacts to both the same way.

What are the Symptoms of Travel Anxiety?

When anxiety kicks in, your body may enter fight-or-flight mode. This can feel like:
  • Tight chest or throat
  • Clenched jaw or shoulders
  • Restlessness or urgency
  • Feeling “on edge” or emotionally irritable
  • Diarrhea
  • Nausea
  • Insomnia
  • Sweaty palms or trembling
  • Rapit heartbeat or shortness of breath
These sensations can feel uncomfortable!

Travel bags at feet of a traveler. Coping with travel anxiety can be difficult. Reach out to schedule an appointment for in person or online therapy in New York today to work towards decreasing travel anxiety and increasing travel enjoyment!

What are Effective Strategies for Managing Travel Anxiety?

1. Prepare Without Over-Preparing

​Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, but too much planning can keep it alive.
Helpful prep includes:
  • Reviewing travel logistics once or twice (not repeatedly)
  • Arriving early to reduce time pressure
  • Packing comfort items (snacks, headphones, grounding objects)

Try to avoid: compulsive checking, excessive reassurance-seeking, or rehearsing “what if” scenarios

2. Regulate Your Nervous System

Travel can activate the body’s threat response. Gentle regulation helps signal safety.
Effective techniques:
  • Slow breathing (inhale 4, exhale 6)
  • Pressing your feet firmly into the ground
  • Temperature changes (cool water on wrists, holding a warm drink)
  • Gentle movement or stretching​

3. Use Distraction With Intention

Distraction works best when it’s purposeful, not avoidant.
Good options:
  • Music, podcasts, audiobooks
  • Simple games or puzzles
  • Watching familiar shows (predictability = safety)

The goal isn’t to escape anxiety, but to coexist with it while staying engaged.

4. Use Affirmations

Therapist-approved travel anxiety affirmations are another great tool—designed to calm the nervous system without pretending fear doesn’t exist. 
You can save these, screenshot them, or repeat one at a time as needed.
🌿 Reassurance & Safety
  • “I am safe, even when I feel anxious.”
  • “This sensation is uncomfortable, not dangerous.”
  • “My body is trying to protect me—and I can thank it without obeying it.”
  • “Anxiety is a feeling, not a prediction.”
✈️ Coping & Capability
  • “I don’t need to feel calm to be capable.”
  • “I have handled hard moments before.”
  • “I can do this scared.”
  • “I trust myself to respond to whatever comes up.”
🌬️ Nervous System Grounding
  • “I can slow my breath, and my body will follow.”
  • “I am here, in this moment, and I am okay.”
  • “I let my shoulders drop and my jaw soften.”
  • “With every exhale, my body settles a little more.”
🧠 Letting Go of Control
  • “I release the need for certainty.”
  • “I can’t control everything—and I don’t need to.”
  • “I allow this experience to unfold.”
  • “Being flexible keeps me safe.”
🤍 Self-Compassion
  • “It makes sense that this is hard for me.”
  • “I am allowed to go at my own pace.”
  • “I speak to myself with kindness.”
  • “I am not weak for feeling this way.”
🌱 Growth & Meaning
  • “Each step forward builds confidence.”
  • “I am expanding my world.”
  • “This anxiety will pass, even if slowly.”
  • “I am proud of myself for showing up.”

5. Meditation Apps to Reduce My Travel Anxiety?

🧘‍♀️ Why Meditation Apps Help With Travel Anxiety - Travel anxiety is a body-based stress response, not a thinking problem. Meditation apps are another great tool that can help by:
  • Activating the parasympathetic (calming) nervous system
  • Reducing anticipatory anxiety before travel
  • Providing grounding when you feel trapped or out of control
  • Offering a calm voice that acts as external regulation
*Tips for using Meditation Apps: Use the App Before anxiety peaks.

Meditation works best proactively, not only in crisis.
✈️ Ideal moments to use it:
  • The night before travel
  • While packing
  • In the car on the way to the airport
  • While waiting in line or at the gate
  • Right after boarding
Think of it as preventive nervous system care.

​Common Mistakes to Avoid
  • ❌ Using meditation to force calm

  • ❌ Choosing long or advanced material 

  • ❌ Quitting because anxiety didn’t vanish immediately

If anxiety increases slightly at first—that’s normal. Stay gentle & give yourself grace!

Table with passport, glasses, scarf, and the word TRAVEL in letter tiles. You can achieve your goal of enjoying travel. Reach out to schedule an appointment for in person or online therapy in New York today to work on decreasing your travel anxiety and increasing your travel enjoyment!

When to Seek Support

Travel anxiety doesn’t mean you’re incapable—it means your system needs reassurance, safety, and patience. With support, skills, and self-compassion, it’s possible to travel with anxiety instead of being controlled by it.
If travel anxiety is limiting your life, therapy can help. Modalities such as CBT, ACT, exposure therapy, and nervous system–informed approaches can reduce symptoms and increase confidence. 
You don’t have to “just push through” alone.

About the Author

My name is Candyce Young, a mental health clinician who specializes in anxiety, nervous system regulation, and trauma-informed care. With a compassionate approach, that helps clients understand the why behind their anxiety while building practical tools to feel safer in their bodies and more confident in their lives.
My work is rooted in the belief that anxiety is not a personal flaw, but a protective response that deserves curiosity, patience, and care. I am  passionate about helping clients who feel limited by anxiety reclaim a sense of freedom, choice, and self-trust. Through therapy, writing, and psychoeducation, I aim to normalize your human experience and help empower you.
Interested in learning more about Candyce? Check out her bio here.

Interested in scheduling an appointment to lower your travel anxiety? Click here to view current clinician availability and request an initial appointment at a time that works for you.

Managing Anxiety During the Holidays

12/3/2024

 

Managing Anxiety During the Holidays

by Heather DeGuire, MS, MHC-LP

Anxiety symptoms are characterized by a feeling of overwhelming sense of worry and concern. The holidays sometimes trigger or amplify anxiety symptoms, especially for those without financial stability or those receiving pressure to attend social gatherings. The holidays could trigger an increase in frequency and duration of anxiety symptoms because of what the holiday means to the person. Some people are not affected by the holidays because they don’t have a negative experience attached to it, whereas some individuals find it hard to regulate their emotions or decrease their intrusive anxious thoughts triggered from the holidays because of their own traumatic experiences related to the holiday. 

What Causes Anxiety During the Holidays?

There are many reasons that could result in someone feeling stressed during the holidays that increases a person’s anxiety symptoms. Some scenarios that affect people during the holidays could be someone who has lost a parent, a child that has passed away, a relative aging and unable to travel alone, or the loss of a friend/companion. The holidays can also be difficult for parents because of their expectations that the holiday should be perfect for their children. It is important to find a way of letting go of "perfect" and enjoying the moment with your family, because memories are not planned, they are created in the moment. Anxiety symptoms triggered from the holidays are sometimes intensified by a person’s lack of family, social support, or financial stability.
Person holding small gift box. Give yourself the gift of therapy today. Reach out to schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY today!

How Can I Cope with Holiday Anxiety?

Coping with anxiety is unique to each person and looks different for everyone. Some ways to cope with anxiety symptoms triggered during the holidays could look like engaging in self-care or using cognitive reframing strategies. Read on for some ideas to utilize this holiday season:

How to use Socratic Questioning to decrease holiday anxiety

A form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that can help you to cope with anxiety symptoms is Socratic Questioning techniques. This skill helps to challenge the maladaptive thoughts triggered during the holidays and replaces them with rational thoughts. This skill can help you to change the way that you view a difficult  situation that emerges during the holidays. 
Here's an example: Someone who is really anxious about the holidays might be focused on thinking about there being so much to do and not being able to handle all of it. They can question themselves with "What would happen if everything isn't done perfectly?" to which they might respond with "People would get disappointed." Questionning can continue - "Do people care more about perfection or about having fun spending time together?" This can help this person to recognize that people are more interested in spending time together than everthing being perfect.

How to use self care to decrease holiday anxiety

Some self-care tips to help manage anxiety symptoms during the holidays could be to stay organized and commit to a plan, create your own holiday traditions, make space for feelings of grief when they arise, and keep stress levels at a minimal by delegating or taking space for yourself as needed. Another coping strategy to help manage anxiety symptoms during the holidays could look like journaling what makes you feel anxious. This will help identify and challenge insecurities directly. 
Woman sitting and writing in journal wearing glasses. Writing in a journal can help to decrease anxiety and stress. Reach out today to schedule an appointment for online therapy in NY today.

How to use mindfulness to decrease holiday anxiety

Finding mindfulness activities during the holidays will help you stay focused in the present moment and connect with loved ones during the holidays. It is important during this stressful time to learn to treat yourself with love and kindness as you navigate through the difficulties that arise throughout the holidays. A simple mindfulness exercise can be to sit with something that you can enjoy with your senses. For example, a cup of coffee or tea - sit and notice everything about it, including the smell, the warmth of the mug (make sure it isn't too hot!), the sight of the steam coming off of it, and the taste of it as you drink it. 
Mindfulness can also be used while attending holiday events. Rather than focusing on everything going as planned, zoom in on the fun that is being had. This may include a game that children are playing, laughter amongst your family, or sitting quietly watching snow fall. There is beauty in so many moments that, should we allow ourselves to focus on it, can help us to feel content and at peace.

About the Author

Heather DeGuire, MHC-LP, is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling, providing in person counseling to clients located in the Massapequa Park area, as well as online therapy to clients located across the state of New York. Heather strongly believes in teaching clients coping skills that can be incorporated into their daily lives. As the holidays approach each year, she finds that many of her clients express increased stress and anxiety, which inspired her to write this blog post. Heather finds the skills that she has shared here to be great during the holidays and at all times of year!
Interested in learning more about Heather? Read her bio here.
Interested in scheduling an appointment with Heather? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.

Grounding 101

11/23/2024

 

Grounding 101

by Sarah Mohan, MS, CRC, MHC-LP, CVE, WIP-C

Anxiety is a feeling most people have experienced at least once  in their life. When anxiety strikes, it can take over us completely, and take us completely out of our element. Grounding is a skill that can be used to help bring us back into a space of awareness that reduces feelings of anxiety,

The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise is a mindfulness technique that helps people manage stress and anxiety by focusing on the present moment. It involves using all five senses to observe the environment around you:
5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. It could be a pen, a spot on the ceiling, anything in your surroundings.
4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. It could be your hair, a pillow, or the ground under your feet. 
3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. This could be any external sound. If you can hear your belly rumbling that counts! Focus on things you can hear outside of your body.
2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. Maybe you are in your office and smell pencil, or maybe you are in your bedroom and smell a pillow. If you need to take a brief walk to find a scent you could smell soap in your bathroom, or nature outside.
1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste. What does the inside of your mouth taste like—gum, coffee, or the sandwich from lunch?
Woman sitting cross-legged outside on grass. Grounding skills help to reduce anxiety. Call to schedule an appointment for online therapy today!
The 5-4-3-2-1 technique can help people:

Redirect Attention

By engaging multiple senses, the technique helps people focus on the present and avoid anxious thoughts.  ​

Calm the Nervous System

The technique interrupts the fight-or-flight response, which can reduce anxiety and stress. ​

Become Aware of Surroundings

The technique can help people become aware of their surroundings and feel safe. ​
People can practice the 5-4-3-2-1 technique almost anywhere, such as at their desk, while standing in line, or while gardening. If practicing at night, people can close their eyes and visualize the five things.
Flowers and lily pads. Grounding skills can help you to be more present in your surroundings. Connect with a therapist for online therapy in New York today.

About the Author

Sarah Mohan, MS, CRC, MHC-LP, CVE, WIP-C is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. Sarah recognizes from her work with many clients that grounding is not always easy, and can be negatively impacted by many factors, including anxiety, depression, and past trauma. She enjoys teaching grounding tools that can add value to everyday life. She finds it rewarding when she helps clients to incorporate simple tools that make big impacts. Sarah finds grounding helpful in her own life when she feels overwhelmed, allowing her to clear her mind and organize her thoughts.
Are you interested in reading more about Sarah? Read her bio here.
Are you interested in scheduling an appointment for in-person or online therapy to focus on learning grounding skills and more? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out a Contact Form.

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