Anxiety symptoms are characterized by a feeling of overwhelming sense of worry and concern. The holidays sometimes trigger or amplify anxiety symptoms, especially for those without financial stability or those receiving pressure to attend social gatherings. The holidays could trigger an increase in frequency and duration of anxiety symptoms because of what the holiday means to the person. Some people are not affected by the holidays because they don’t have a negative experience attached to it, whereas some individuals find it hard to regulate their emotions or decrease their intrusive anxious thoughts triggered from the holidays because of their own traumatic experiences related to the holiday. 

A form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that can help you to cope with anxiety symptoms is Socratic Questioning techniques. This skill helps to challenge the maladaptive thoughts triggered during the holidays and replaces them with rational thoughts. This skill can help you to change the way that you view a difficult  situation that emerges during the holidays. 
Here's an example: Someone who is really anxious about the holidays might be focused on thinking about there being so much to do and not being able to handle all of it. They can question themselves with "What would happen if everything isn't done perfectly?" to which they might respond with "People would get disappointed." Questionning can continue - "Do people care more about perfection or about having fun spending time together?" This can help this person to recognize that people are more interested in spending time together than everthing being perfect.

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By engaging multiple senses, the technique helps people focus on the present and avoid anxious thoughts.  ​

The technique interrupts the fight-or-flight response, which can reduce anxiety and stress. ​

The technique can help people become aware of their surroundings and feel safe. ​

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Are you interested in scheduling an appointment for in-person or online therapy to focus on learning grounding skills and more? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out a Contact Form.

Online therapy became very popular during the COVID-19 pandemic. Prior to the pandemic, a majority of clinicians would not even consider providing online services. Did you know that Teletherapy was actually created in 1960 (using a closed-circuit television link, as the internet did not exist back then!)? How far the world has come! Following the pandemic, online therapy continues to be very popular. Even though many people are back at work in the office and interacting in public spaces, many people continue to prefer online therapy to in person therapy. According to a survey done by The Washington Post, 55% of recent mental health care is done using online platforms. (1)​

When we think about the reasons that online therapy became popular, not only did telehealth meet the needs of the pandemic but it also helped:
-Individuals with limited transportation
-Fit the schedule of the busy parent/employer/employee/traveler/etc.
-Allowing for more comfort in session
-Provided accessibility for family sessions, especially when family is not local
-Assisted people to be able to work with the ideal clinician for them if the clinician's office was located far away
-Accessibility to services when feeling under the weather or immunocompromised

Let’s face it- the idea of an unknown room and sitting on an uncomfortable couch while discussing tough topics can seem unappealing to some. If you are identifying with some of the above reasons, then online therapy might be right for you! It can feel like quite the process to transition from in person counseling to online counseling. Change is tough, but that is what brings most to Therapy right? It's the need for change and the room for creating a fresh perspective. I hope that some of the tips listed below will help you in preparing for and getting the most out of online counseling.

Telehealth counseling being accessible at any time is a wonderful thing, but having some rules is important to keep it professional and make it most effective. Comfy still requires compliance, which means please dress appropriately like you would if the session was in person. This idea also goes for conducting yourself as if the session was in person. So No - you can not drink your Moscato during your evening online therapy session. Making a cup of coffee or tea to enjoy during the session is ok though!​

I know it seems like a lot of restrictions but again if it's going to take away from your focus, then how can you really get something from your sessions? Mood-altering substances can interfere with the therapy process and lead to you getting less out of your appointments. So it's best to leave them out.

by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS, EMDRIA Certified Therapist & Approved Consultant

Did you feel some pressure begin with the first Mariah Carey reference on November 1st? Me too! Now that the 50% off Halloween candy aisles are cleared out and holiday decor is in abundance, the holidays feel as if they are already here. Unfortunately, along with the holidays often comes an increase in stress levels.

Nearly 9 in 10 US adults report stressors that impact them during the holiday season. 41% of adults report an increase in stress during the months of November through January (1). This increase in stress can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance use, overeating, and overuse of social media. It can take people out of their usual balanced practices of proper amounts of sleep, exercise, and engaging in hobbies. This all leads to many people "going through the motions" during the holiday season rather than mindfully enjoying it.

What are the holiday events you really enjoy? A local tree lighting? A friend’s potluck dinner? Early morning black Friday shopping (in person or in your slippers, depending on your style)? Making holiday cookies with your kids? Add them to your calendar NOW, in permanent ink! These are your non-negotiables. It is important to have events in our lives that fill our cup, energize us, and help us to slow down and be in the moment. By identifying them now and putting them on the calendar, you can ensure that you can look forward to and enjoy them this season.

Notice this - is your holiday calendar typically full of traditions that were passed down to you from older generations? Consider whether these traditions continue to suit you. Are there new traditions that you want to develop? As you are planning, notice whether you are adding things to your calendar out of obligation or desire. Don't forget that this is your holiday season; you deserve to enjoy your own traditions too!

There are likely to be points during the holiday season when you notice increased levels of pressure or difficult emotions. Planning ahead for these moments will help you to be able to respond to your needs more quickly. I like to break it down into 3 levels:

When you only have a few minutes to recharge, it can feel impossible to do so. But there are ways to rebalance quickly. Consider starting and/or ending your day with self-care regularly. You can also use these tools during the day when feeling overwhelmed. Try them out in different situations to see which ones are most effective for you.

• Try practicing mindfulness, focusing your attention fully on one of your senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, or smell). Should any thoughts pop up in your mind, let them float away and refocus on your senses.
• Choose a positive affirmation or self-compassion phrase that you can remind yourself of during these moments. Take several deep breaths while focusing on the phrase and repeating it to yourself in your mind.
• Do a quick meditation. There are many short guided meditations accessible in apps and online. Complete one within a few minutes to ground yourself.
• Stretch your body. A few gentle stretches can help blood flow and can help to ground you to the present moment. You don't have to get into advanced yoga poses for this to be effective.
• Take a few minutes to write in a journal. Write about how you are feeling, what you are thinking, or whatever comes to mind. Write down what you are grateful for each day and refer back to it as needed. 

When you have 1-2 hours to take care of yourself, the plans can be a little more involved. This level of self care may involve getting out of the house, to grab a cup of coffee, go for a long walk or hike, get your nails done, or grab lunch with a friend. It can also be done at home, such as by taking a long bath, reading a book you have been enjoying, or doing a paint-by-number. Keep in mind that the activity needs to be one that you participate in mindfully, and not one that you find that you “zone out” during and barely remember. Consider “unplugging” during these self care hours by turning your phone off, to prevent the temptation or habit of picking it up and starting to scroll.

This level of self care can be needed after a difficult family gathering, or a marathon of a few obligations in a row. Consider planning a self-care day, which can be done by combining several of your shorter self-care options into one day, or by planning a little day-trip for yourself, either alone or with others who you feel energized to be around. It is helpful to plan these ahead of time, perhaps on days following events that tend to be stressful. This can be a great way to use up one of your remaining PTO (paid time off) days from work - for a Mental Health Day!

​Consider going for a long drive to see the beautiful fall foliage, attending a day-long retreat, or attending a sporting event, show, or concert that you enjoy. It can be planned ahead, or planned as you go based on how you are feeling and what you are in the mood for at that time. Once again, try to “unplug” so as to not get distracted by notifications on your phone and to avoid the habit of scrolling social media.

It is likely that you will be asked to do many things and attend many events throughout the holiday season, some of which you may be interested in, and others that you have no interest in being a part of. Before getting into the holiday season, practice saying “no” to set healthy boundaries. Try it with safe people in your life first to get the hang of it. Notice how it feels to do so. This can be uncomfortable at first, especially if you struggle with people-pleasing. Consider saying no when you know that it would overwhelm you to attend an event, or when you already feel that you have enough on your plate and don't have the energy to commit to a task.

I hope the recommendations that I shared are helpful to you as you prepare to navigate the holiday season. By planning ahead and practicing some of these things before stressors increase, it will make it easier to continue using them and they will be more effective throughout the holiday season. Wishing you a balanced and enjoyable holiday!

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Interested in scheduling an appointment for therapy to assist you in planning for and coping with the holiday season? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our contact form here.

by Cindy Zabinski, LMHC, LCMHC, CRC, ACS, EMDRIA Certified Therapist & Approved Consultant

Our practice receives many calls from people interested in EMDR therapy, and most have not tried EMDR before. They call with many questions, including: “How does it work?”, “How many sessions will it take?”, and “How do I know if it is going to help me?". Many people are interested in jumping in with both feet and want to heal from their trauma as quickly as possible. While it is difficult to predict how long EMDR therapy will take, as everyone's process is different, there are some steps that can assist with entering EMDR therapy as efficiently as possible. 

The second phase of EMDR, Preparation, involves a number of tasks, including rapport building, grounding tools, and stabilization. (For more details about the 8 Phases of EMDR, see our previous Blog Post, "What is EMDR and How Does it Work?") There are ways to begin working on this prior to beginning EMDR therapy, if they feel safe and comfortable enough for you. They can also be worked on with the help of a talk therapist, should you already be working with one. 

I write this post with the hope that it provides some assistance to people who are interested in starting EMDR therapy and want to get the most out of it. Many of the below topics can help to move more quickly through the preparation process. Although I cannot predict the number of EMDR sessions it will take for someone to heal from their trauma, I do believe that attending to the following items will help to accelerate the process!

First, focus on finding a therapist who was properly trained in EMDR by an EMDRIA (EMDR International Association) approved provider. A therapist who is EMDRIA Certified has gone through thorough training and consultation to be able to practice EMDR effectively. Feel free to ask the therapist what kind of training they completed and whether they are certified by EMDRIA. To assist in locating an EMDRIA trained provider, you can use the EMDRIA Find a Therapist tool: https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/​

EMDR is covered by health insurance similarly to other therapy services. You can ask the provider if they are in-network with your health insurance or how they can work with you to use out-of-network benefits. EMDR can also be covered by automobile no-fault insurance if the trauma that occurred was related to an automobile accident as long as mental health benefits are included in your claim.

As with the process of therapy in general, make sure that you feel comfortable enough and safe enough with the therapist you have chosen. If their style or demeanor is off-putting to you, it could interfere with your therapy experience and interfere with your work. Although EMDR does not require you to share every detail of your past traumas to the therapist, it is important to feel that you can be honest and open with the clinician. Make sure that the therapist you have chosen offers therapy in the style that you are interested in, in person in an office or online. EMDR can be effective by either method, so it is up to the client which they prefer and which is accessible to them. There are some providers who offer EMDR Intensives, which can include longer EMDR sessions over the course of several days. 

EMDR is focused on assisting your brain in engaging in the natural healing process that it is designed to do. Rather than trying to force cognitive reframes or challenge thoughts, in EMDR Therapy we allow the healing process to occur by supporting it. Because of this, the client is meant to observe, without judgment, what is coming up for them. This can include some of the following: thoughts (such as idea about yourself or the world), images (memories of the event or another event), feelings (surges of emotions), and body sensations (physical perception). When explaining this role of observer to clients, I often use the analogy of riding on a train and watching the scenery pass by. Sometimes the train travels quickly and the images seem to fly by, and at other times the train slows down and more time is allowed for noticing what is coming up. Rather than overthinking the speed of the train, the client notices what passes by without judgment.

One of the most common questions I hear from clients at the end of the first few sessions of EMDR is “Am I doing it right?”. There is no right or wrong way as a client to do EMDR. Everything that comes up is part of the process. Having trust in the clinician, as discussed above, will allow them to guide you as needed through the EMDR process.

An essential part of EMDR is allowing oneself to be vulnerable in exploring and processing emotions. It requires vulnerability with yourself, in allowing emotions to ebb and flow throughout the session, and the therapist, to allow yourself to process in their presence. Vulnerability can be really difficult for trauma survivors, especially those who have compartmentalized their trauma and feelings for years in order to function. Here are some suggestions for exercises that can help you to explore vulnerability:

Since the main focus of EMDR is to reprocess traumatic memories, it is likely to bring up many feelings along the way. Grounding skills are very helpful when you may feel that your feelings are overwhelming or unsafe. Between sessions, should thoughts of your EMDR work pop up in your head, you can use your grounding skills to return your focus on the present moment. Here are some of my favorites:

Use your Senses
Focus on one of your 5 senses (sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste) and place all of your attention there. There is no need to describe or judge what you are experiencing - just experience it. This can work especially well when you have something that you enjoy, like the taste of a fresh cup of coffee or the smell of a flower.

Focus on your Feet
Your feet connected to the ground beneath you is as present-moment as you can get. Notice the connection of your feet to the ground. Notice the way in which the ground holds your feet up. This tool can be used anytime that the ground is accessible to your feet, whether you are wearing sneakers at the gym, barefoot at the beach, or wearing dress shoes at the office.

Safe and Calm Enough Place
Bring up an image of a place that feels safe and calm enough for you. Perhaps it is a place you have been before, or it is a place you think of but have never traveled. Notice everything about it - what you see, smell, taste, feel, and hear. Notice how you feel as you think of this place. Notice how you feel in your body as you think of this place.

Breathing Exercises
There are many excellent breathing exercises that are taught in therapy. One of my go-to’s is to count the breath as you breathe in deeply through your nose (think: “In 1”) and out through your mouth (think: “Out 1”). Repeat this up to a number of your choosing, or until you feel grounded!

Create a Container
EMDR does not require homework between sessions (yay!). However, sometimes thoughts of EMDR work pop up between sessions due to a reminder that can come up in your daily life. Having a theoretical container in your mind to store all of your EMDR work gives you a tool to help you between sessions should a thought or feeling related to your EMDR work come to mind between sessions. Practice visualizing your container, designing it however you wish, and feel free to add as many security measures as you would like to keep it closed.

Remember, the above items are not mandatory to complete before starting to work with an EMDR therapist. Your EMDR therapist will likely review all of the above with you as you start working together. 
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EMDR is an amazing therapy to engage in. It is different from other therapies, and for that reason can be challenging to begin. I hope that these items may help you to prepare and feel more comfortable with EMDR as you embark on your journey. 

Interested in learning more about the EMDR services at Healing & Growth Counseling? Check out our EMDR Therapy service page here.

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Interested in scheduling an appointment for EMDR Therapy in New York? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our contact form here.