How to Navigate Narcissistic or Emotionally Immature Family Members During the Holidays

12/11/2025

How to Navigate Narcissistic or Emotionally Immature Family Members During the Holidays

by Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP

The holidays often come with cozy music, twinkling lights, and the excitement of gift-giving. But they also come with extended time spent with family — something that’s isn’t always as joyful as it looks. For those with narcissistic or emotionally immature family members, gatherings can be draining, triggering, and full of unsolicited advice, criticism, guilt-tripping, or passive-aggressive behavior.

While there’s no perfect formula for navigating these dynamics, there are ways to protect yourself, reduce harm, and maintain some peace.

1. Set clear, realistic expectations

During the holidays, we may crave connection and love even more, especially as cold weather and winter blues settle in. But the holidays don’t magically change someone’s narcissistic or emotionally immature traits. It’s important to manage your inner hope for change and balance it with reminding yourself of who people consistently show themselves to be.

Expectations are okay — but make sure they’re realistic. For example, you may hope your narcissistic parent will notice your favorite gift on your wish list, but they might hand you something completely different. Recognizing their emotional limitations helps reduce disappointment and frustration. This doesn’t make you cynical — it makes you prepared.

Woman holding up the word NO. Set healthy boundaries with others by saying no when you feel it is in your best interest. Reach out to schedule an appointment for in person or online therapy in New York today.

2. Keep your time limited

You are allowed to shorten your exposure. Arrive later, leave earlier, or schedule breaks. You don’t owe anyone unlimited access to your time or energy.

It can help to track patterns. Notice when you start feeling emotionally drained and how long the exposure lasted. Maybe arguments or tension tend to flare up after dessert, or after certain topics come up. When you recognize these patterns, you can plan in advance — excuse yourself before the trigger moments and preserve your peace.

3. Use emotional boundaries, not just physical ones

Physical boundaries are important, but emotional boundaries are just as vital. Circumstances may prevent you from being able to avoid the person entirely, but you can avoid engaging in ways that drain you.

Try setting boundaries like:

“If [insert action you want to avoid], I will [insert protective behavior].”
Start with a warning if needed: “If this happens again…” and follow through when it does.

Neutral phrases work well to disengage without conflict, like:

“I’m not getting into that today.”
“I’m focusing on enjoying the holiday.”

4. Avoid over-explaining

Narcissistic or emotionally immature people often use your explanations as material for debate or to manipulate guilt. You are not obligated to justify your decisions, actions, or perspectives to anyone. Simple, firm statements are often more effective than long explanations:

“I have made my decision, and it is not up for discussion.”

Your choices are valid, even if they aren’t ideal to others. Remember: you don’t have to “win” or convince anyone of your perspective.

Exit sign with arrow. Having an exit strategy can be helpful when spending time with narcissistic or emotionally immature people. Recognize when you are feeling emotionally drained and leave the situation. Call to schedule an intake for in person or online therapy in New York today.

5. Have an exit strategy

Knowing you can leave reduces anxiety. Plan ahead: drive yourself if possible, arrange a check-in call with a friend, or set a clear, time-based reason to leave. Even having a “backup plan” if the situation becomes intolerable gives you control.
It’s not about avoiding responsibility — it’s about preserving your well-being. Your presence isn’t a requirement for anyone else’s comfort, and leaving when needed is an act of self-care.

6. Prioritize your nervous system

Your nervous system is your ally, not something to ignore. Take breaks when needed: step outside, stretch, breathe deeply, go for a short walk, or practice grounding exercises.

Feeling anxious, triggered, or drained doesn’t make you “too sensitive” — it makes you human. Recognizing when you need to regulate and actually doing it is wise, not weak.

7. Give yourself permission to grieve what isn't

It’s painful when family members cannot show up in the ways we wish. You are allowed to feel sadness, anger, disappointment, or even relief — without guilt or self-shaming.
Acknowledging these feelings is not ungrateful; it’s honest. Grieving what isn’t — the care, understanding, or validation that never comes — allows you to emotionally separate from unhealthy expectations and protect yourself in future interactions.

8. Create your own meaning of the holidays

Even if family dynamics are hard, you can create rituals that feel safe and comforting to you. Bake a favorite dessert, watch a beloved movie, make a small altar of gratitude, or connect with friends who feel like chosen family.
You get to decide what joy looks like for you, even if it doesn’t involve everyone around the table. Your holidays can be meaningful, even on your own terms.

9. Accept guilt, but don't let it control you

You may feel guilt — and it doesn’t always come from inside you. Sometimes it comes from the “enablers” in the family: the ones who say things like, “But that’s your mom,” “They’re still your family,” or “Just forgive and forget.”
You’re allowed to acknowledge the guilt without letting it dictate your behavior. Guilt often shows up because of empathy. You feel bad doing anything that looks “unkind” or “cold.” But protecting yourself isn’t cruelty — it’s self-respect. It’s self-care.
Boundaries are not punishment. They’re protection. You’re not trying to hurt anyone; you’re trying to keep yourself emotionally safe. In those moments, it can help to gently remind yourself: Yes, they are technically family. But I also know how family should treat me, and this isn’t it. And because of that, I’m allowed to protect myself.
You are not heartless. You are not selfish. You are responding appropriately to unhealthy behavior — and that’s something you deserve permission to do.

Woman walking in the snow with her hands in pockets and gently looking down. You deserve permission to set the boundaries that are best for you. Reach out to Healing & Growth Counseling to schedule an appointment for help in setting boundaries and showing up for yourself.

Talia is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling and has a passion for working with clients who have narcissistic and emotionally immature parents. She uses a culturally sensitive, trauma-informed lens, combining cognitive-behavioral and psychodynamic approaches in meeting clients where they are and helping them to move past their past, cope with their present, and step towards their future.

Interested in learning more about Talia? Check out her bio here.

Interested in scheduling an appointment with Talia?
Call us at (516) 406-8991
Fill out our Contact Form
Use our new online portal to view availability and request a specific appointment time with Talia

Alternative Practices to Accompany Traditional Therapy

12/8/2025

Alternative Practices to Accompany Traditional Therapy

by Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP

When we think of therapy for our mental health, many imagine the classic picture: sitting across from a therapist in a quiet office, reflecting on experiences, thoughts, and feelings. While this approach can be incredibly effective, we sometimes overlook the mind-body connection—the idea that our mental state impacts our physical health, and vice versa.
Bessel van der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score highlights how trauma can remain “stuck” in the body, showing up as tension, pain, or chronic stress responses. For therapy to be fully effective, alternative practices may sometimes be necessary to accompany traditional approaches. These practices focus on restoring balance between the body and mind, helping clients feel more grounded, safe, and whole.

Somatic Practices

Somatic practices focus on how trauma and stress are stored in the body. Muscle tension, tightness, and “holding patterns” often reflect the nervous system’s survival responses (fight, flight, or freeze). By noticing and releasing these physical patterns through movement, touch, or breathwork, the nervous system receives a signal that it is safe to relax.

Woman with arm reaching over shoulder rubbing her back. Somatic work can be a great alternative practice to complement mental health therapy. Reach out to schedule an appointment for in person and online therapy in New York today!

Examples include:

Somatic Experiencing

Somatic Experiencing involves gradual awareness of bodily sensations gently discharging trauma-related tension and reducing hyperarousal, allowing emotions to be processed safely.

Sensorimotor Psychotherapy

Sensorimotor Therapy combines body awareness with talk therapy to process trauma on both physical and emotional levels. Releasing tension improves focus, emotional regulation, and reduces intrusive thoughts.

Breathwork and Mindful Movement

Breathwork and mindful movement regulate the nervous system, decrease anxiety, and foster emotional release and grounding.

Yoga and Stretch-Based Therapies

Yoga and other mindful movement practices help people reconnect with their bodies. Stretching, holding postures, and coordinated breathing encourage the release of muscle tension, signaling the nervous system that it is safe to downshift from stress or hypervigilance.

Mental Health Benefits of Yoga and Stretch-Based Therapies include lowered anxiety, improved mood, and strengthened emotional regulation. Trauma survivors gain a sense of safety and comfort in their bodies, supporting processing of difficult emotions in therapy.

Other stretch-based therapies, like Pilates or tai chi, similarly support body awareness, nervous system regulation, and emotional grounding.

Two women sitting on yoga mats doing yoga poses. Yoga and stretch-based therapies can greatly support the work that you are also doing in therapy. Reach out to schedule an in person or online therapy in New York today.

Acupuncture

Acupuncture uses thin needles at specific points to release physical tension and regulate the nervous system.

Mental Health Benefits of Acupuncture include reducing stress, anxiety, and symptoms of depression by calming hyperarousal and supporting emotional balance. By addressing both body and nervous system, acupuncture can improve focus, emotional clarity, and receptivity to therapy.

Massage and Bodywork

Massage therapy and other hands-on bodywork (like myofascial release or craniosacral therapy) help release tension held in muscles and fascia.
Mental Health Beneifts of Massage and Bodywork include activating the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing anxiety and hypervigilance. Clients often report feeling grounded, emotionally lighter, and more able to engage in therapy without being overwhelmed.

Creative Arts Therapies

Art, music, dance, or movement therapy provide nonverbal ways to express emotions, process experiences, and reconnect with the self.
Mental Health Benefits of Creative Arts Therapies include supporting emotional expression and release, reducing internalized stress, and providing a safe outlet for feelings that may be difficult to articulate.

Nutrition, Diet, and Herbal Medicine

The gut-brain connection plays a crucial role in mental health, with about 90% of serotonin—an important mood-regulating neurotransmitter—produced in the digestive system. Diet, probiotics, and certain herbs can influence both physical and mental well-being.
Balanced nutrition and gut-supportive practices have mental health benefits, including improved mood stability, reduced anxiety, and increased emotional regulation. Herbal supplements like chamomile, ashwagandha, or adaptogens may help reduce stress and promote calm, complementing therapy and body-based practices.

These alternative practices—somatic work, yoga, acupuncture, massage, creative arts, and nutrition-based approaches—are not replacements for therapy, but they can strengthen it. By helping the body release tension, downshift the nervous system, and regulate stress responses, they may create space for deeper emotional processing. This mind-body integration supports emotional regulation, reduces anxiety, and enhances the effectiveness of traditional therapy, offering a more holistic path to mental wellness.
*Please note that not every alternative practice works for everyone in the same way. Consider consulting with your therapist and/or physician before engaging in a new physical practice. And always work with a professional who is licensed or certified in that specific alternative practice.

About the Author

Talia Bina, MSEd, MPhil, MHC-LP, is a clinician at Healing & Growth Counseling. Talia specializes in working with clients who have experienced complex trauma, often stemming from childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, emotional neglect, and toxic relationships. While she integrates psychodynamic and cognitive-behavioral approaches with her clients, she also explores with clients adjunctive therapies and practices that may positively impact their healing and growth. She believes in meeting the client where they are and creating an individualized plan together that will best support them in meeting their goals.

Interested in learning more about Talia? Check out her bio on our website here.

Interested in scheduling an appointment? Call us at (516) 406-8991 or fill out our Contact Form here.